vent. "dont go near that horse, you dont know what hes like" - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 04:59 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Olds, AB Canada
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I would say it is more mother instinct and protectivness. SHE may be fine around horses but she could have been worried that her daughter might get kicked or bitten.

Has she been around your horse before?

Horses are scared of two things... Things that move and things that don't.
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post #12 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 05:10 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Higgins, TX. YeeHaw!!
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I'm not one to judge on whether or not it was an over reaction on your part because each person will react differently to a given situation.

All I can say for certain is that I would not have been insulted. People have strong feelings about certain things, especially regarding their children. Even though this woman grew up around horses, she may have had an experience that made her fearful. Some people are just fine with horses around themselves but get extremely nervous and protective when their kids get close to them. Even though she knows you, what she said is true, she doesn't know your horse. I've met a lot of people who were very nice and seemed to be decent horsemen just from talking to them, then I meet their horse and I am shocked at it's horrid behavior.

I think the best thing that you can do is to give her time. Don't try to force her to be 'okay' with her daughter around your horse. Just handle him like you normally would and let her see for herself that he is well behaved and that there isn't anything to fear.

Always remember that feeling of looking at a big, open country over the ears of a good horse, seeing a new trail unwind ahead of you, and that ever-spectacular view from the top of the ridge!!! Follow my training blog:
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post #13 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 05:13 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
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I wouldn't be offended personally, I've seen too many kids with a blatant disregard for safety, so it's refreshing to see a mother actually TEACHING her kids to be on the safe side, especially around animals as large as horses.

In the end, the 4 year old got to see your horse, so she certainly wasn't discouraged by her mother's original hesitance. =)

" If the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason." ~ Hugo Cabret
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post #14 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 05:22 PM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Southern Cali
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I understand the frustration but I understand the mom's issues as well. Do you know how many times I've been told "My dog/cat never bites." and within two minutes the dog/cat is lunging at me with teeth/claws bared. (I work in vets office...sorry to say but ALL dogs and cats bite in my opinion. Thinking like that has saved my hand and face many times when owners SWEAR that the pet is amazing) I have also been told "My horse never kicks" and have been kicked or kicked at by the same horse because I believed them. So I trust no ones opinions of their own animals, I ALWAYS asses an animals behavior myself, it gives the animal a clean slate and keeps me safe.
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post #15 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 05:25 PM
Green Broke
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Location: australia
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I can see where your coming from because you told her it was ok and invited them. I don't think I would be insulted, a little hurt maybe that they didn't trust me. It is also a good thing she didn't just let her daughter go running madly up to your horse hugging his legs or something. It's a good thing to tell little kids to be careful around animals, when its a friends animal that's a good chance to kind of practise.
I've had an eleven yr old girl over who had no respect for other peoples animals and was obsessed with them. She was told don't go near the horses without someone. What did we find her doing 5 minutes later. Out leading the horse that could have killed her. I mean this mare she happened to grab was known for charging, biting and kicking she was lucky she just happened to be in a good mood that day. Then later she went after out puppy. Not a horse but still. He didin't like other people so was on a chain out of the way. She purposely seeked him out to pat him with my mum yelling at her the whole time to leave him alone. She got so close to him that he lunged at her(because she hadn't listened to his warning growling). No one was close enough to help if something had happened and she was lucky he was just warning her because if he had of wanted to he could of had her mauled by the time anyone got to her.
So I don't think it is such a bad thing that she was telling her daughter to be careful around other animals.

My two horse Apache and Sammy are my world
along with our dogs Patch and Bear.
But I will always love you Jimmy R.I.P
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post #16 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 05:43 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
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I completly agree that she should be teaching her child how to act around horses, be respectful, safe etc etc. but its the just the way she handled it, she basicly snapped at her daughter "dont go near that horse, you dont know what its like". if she has just said "stay with me" or "please don't touch the horse" or "angie is it ok for her to touch him" or ANYTHING along the lines of being calm and polite i wouldn't have minded. it was the way she did it. i was hurt and insulted.

i see all your points and i agree. better to teach them to respect and be weary of the 100LBS animal but i just think she could have handled it better is all.
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post #17 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 05:51 PM
Green Broke
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I kind of agree with you but my mum always tells me the example. Of when I was little and tried to pull on the table cloth and she really got up me and everyone told her she was being too harsh.
She said I never tried it again. My mum says would I rather her got up me badly like that and I didn't get hurt or her just say Renee please don't pull on the table cloth in a nice way. Then I try to push it and for example get burnt from hot coffee going all over me. This isn't quite related but just to get my point across.

My two horse Apache and Sammy are my world
along with our dogs Patch and Bear.
But I will always love you Jimmy R.I.P
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post #18 of 18 Old 04-20-2011, 10:15 PM
Join Date: Oct 2010
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from the perspective of a parent with a child of a similar age (well a very almost 3 year old , so close) , children are unpredictable - as un-predictable as animals in some cases. My son who is very farmiliar with our horses, these are 17hh and 18hh drafts, loves on them like they large stuffed animals , and we are lucky that our old boys are very gentle and happy to be adored. Because our horses are quiet and do not mind the enthusiasm of a small boy , he thinks all horses are like this - and so , it is necessary for both our sons safety and the safety of the animal for us to have the rule 'don't touch the animal , you dont know what he may do' - in the same way , we appreciate our friends understanding that , while it may seem like we 'don't trust their judgement' when it comes to their animals (and this is the same rule for any animal ,wether it be a budgie or a horse or anything in between), we are really only looking out for the wellbeing of our son , and not wanting him to do somthing that might startle the animal.

It is not that we don't trust their judgement , it is that we dont trust our son to know if it is ok to pat the horse's (insert part of body here) , or hug their face as he would our two. If you have an animal that is not used to small people , they may not react the same way to the small person as they did to the adult.

I dont know if I am explaining very well at all :S ,

I teach my son to always let the animal sniff his hand first before trying to touch them, but he is small - and enthusiastic. He might think that your horse is such a lovely horse that he just wants to give it a hug , but your horse might be alittle suprised at the small person attaching himself to their leg/face/neck , in what my son would mean to be a happy hug - him showing the animal that they were pretty/lovely animal (he will often say to our big boys 'your a lovely horse " - *hug's face/kisses ear/hugs leg if that is what he can reach* - and they just stand there and take it) but your horse stepping back - note , not being vicious or 'bad' in anyway , just taking a step back to have a better look as horses often do , well if that step back ends up on the 3 year olds foot , well 3 year old feet are alot smaller than adult feet.

do you kind of under stand what Im saying???

I often worry that I come off as rude or like I dont trust peoples judgement , but it is that I know my son needs to be guided , or better yet picked up (but I cannot do this anymore as he is too big so if his father is not there to pick him up I err on the side of caution just in case) when meeting new animals as he is a small child , and however well behaved he is , and however well you teach him - he can be enthusiastic and is prone to spontaneousness - both of which do not mix well with animals sometimes.

It may be that said child had been having an off day and was being particularly un rulely and she did not know if the child would listen or not? Children can be very trying at times, perhaps she had had a bad morning/ night with the child and her patience was running thin and so she came of more snappish than she ment. Either way , I would not take any offence - unless she said "dont go near the horse , it will bite you/that horse is vicious/badly trained" she probably did not mean any offence. It just came off that way maybe?

and , I use my son just as an example of most small children between the ages of 2 and 5, and myself as the mother if said child.
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