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Venting about Barn Owner

5K views 17 replies 9 participants last post by  heyycutter 
#1 ·
sorry.......its just im moving my horse back to the barn he used to live at, but its now under a new owner. she rode cutter once before she bought the barn to decide which horses she liked and didnt. well, she didnt like cutter and wanted him out for a few months so he could get better. she said he lunged at other horses, chased horses, make horrible faces, so on.
I know my horse. he was gelded only a couple years ago, so he is territorial and isnt fond of other horses, but i deffinitaly dont believe he is aggressive. my moms talked to the BO a couple times (were moving him on sunday to the barn) and everytime all the BO's said to my mom is how aggressive, violent, vicious, cutter is. ( i need to move him there bc its the only place close enough with an indoor for the winter). if she didnt want cutter at her barn, she could tell us. but if we are paying 525 a month, i dont wanna constantly hear her talking bad about my horse. its really annoying. she wants him to be practically in isolation at her barn, far far away from any other horses or people. she says people are expressing fear about cutter moving in, and so on. i love my horse, and hes not bad at all. he really isnt. hes not for beginners, and he acts more like a stallion than a gelding, but deffinitly no where near violent or vicious. in fact, the lady who keeps her horse with mine at the current barn, loves cutter and said she thinks hes "borderline cuddly". shes in her late 40s and works full time at a huge therapy barn, and she has tons of expereince with horses. i need to move cutter to this barn, bc theres nowhere to ride right now. but i dont want cutter being talked about like this, hes truely a great horse. i wouldnt buy a "vicious" horse. im hopeing when i move him there sunday, she will see what hes really like.

what would you guys do if everyone thought your horse was vicious, aggressive and violent? how would u handle my situation?

sorry for the rant, but its starting to really upset my mother and i having our horse talked bad about so much.
 
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#2 ·
I know what it's like to have a barn owner/manager like that. Our current one is/was the same way. She's a lot better, now that she's the owner and not under so much stress, but man did I hate the way she talked about horses in general.. and even treated them. If a horse stepped a foot wrong, or even whinnied, she'd call them an "idiot." I've seen her do it to my horse as well. Luckily, my horse is well behaved enough to not cause that much trouble, but still. I had to work for her for a few months, and that was complete hell. Her true colors came out, just then I realized she's not the person I thought she was. Anyways!

You're the voice of your horse. Honestly if the owner said that I had to isolate my horse, I would NOT go there, even if it meant not riding for the whole winter. I'd rather have that, then see my horse suffer, and give that person my money. But really, if she's the owner, she can do what she wants. It's up to you to decide.

Sorry, hope that helped a little..
 
#3 ·
I think if you want to change the opinion of the people there the best thing to do is to show them that Cutter isn't that bad. The only reason the people at the horse place are anxious about him moving there is because of all the things that the BO has been saying.

She is the BO and she is free to express her opinion. If she feels that Cutter is a danger to other horses or people I can understand that she wants to isolate, its her job to protect the well being of all her customers. If you have to go there, then go there. If he really isn't that badly behaved then I can't imagine he would be isolated for long.

Also, make sure he is a well behaved as possible, ensure that his manners are impeccable so that the BO won't have anything to complain about. There is no way to stop someone expressing their opinion on their property, and if its going to be a big problem listening to her then don't move there. Make sure you don't get annoyed and start bitching about her/her horses, because that is just not a good thing to do.
 
#4 ·
thanks for both of your help, im going to be cleaning his stall everyday, so at least ill be there a couple hours a day to make sure hes treated well. and im already planning if hes odviously unhappy there, ill move him back to his current barn and give him the winter off. but i hope that doesnt happen
 
#5 ·
525 and you have to clean your own stalls?! wow.... sounds like y'alls price range for stables is like it is here. I can't afford ANY place with stalls, they are all 550+...

Anyways, don't let it get to you... she is obviously just being biased about her opinion. If she has only seen him once then she shouldn't judge. If she continues, I would have an adult conversation with her. It's not very professional of her to be bad mouthing a COSTUMERS horse. Other boarders will see he's no threat.
People have been rude about Bali before because of his weaving when he's nervous. They say they want him stalled far away from other horses so he doesn't "teach the behavior" which, yes that can happen, but he does it when he's isolated MUCH MORE than if he's around other horses he likes!

Anyways... BO's can be a pain, but remember, if you are paying her she has no right to treat you or your horse like crap!
 
#6 ·
so, this BO is driving me crazy.
she makes me feel like a complete idiot.
everyday i clean cutters stall, she comes and finds me and tells me "i cleaned his stall wrong" wtf??
how do you clean a stall wrong?

see, we use pelleted bedding, and she had spread it in cutters stall before i moved him, and she wanted his urine to turn it into bedding, but i just took a hose and sprayed it down til it was proper bedding.
she got mad about that.
because it was not how it works?
then, today, and yesterday i took out the manure, and the saturated pee spots.
and she said im not supposed to do that! she said i have to leave ALL the pee in, or the bedding wont work properly.
youd think that since im paying 525 a month, id be able to clean my own horses stall however i want to.
besides, id think leaving tons of pee in the stall and just "mixing it in" wouldmake it smell dreadful.
i just dont know what to do, i clean the stall the way ive been doing it for years, and all of a sudden its "wrong".
i hate how i feel like a idiot there.

i even acadently left a friends horses galloping boots on in the stall all night, because i was just so stressed with this BO, and he broke one of them.
the BO yelled at me about the horse "shredding" the boots, so when the horse owner got there with her dad i was like " OMG im so sorry about the boots ill replace them right away" and they were like "no big deal, weve already ordered a new pair"
the BO just always has something to complain about with me.
and i dont see her pester any other boarders.

first, my horse is too "violent and aggressive" now that she sees hes not, hes too "extremely skinny".
i just dont get it.
shes just out to get me and my horse :(

sorry for the vent/rant
 
#7 ·
Wow... sounds like a rough deal.

When I first got my mare, one of my cousins was terrified of her because she was 'aggressive, mean, a killer, dangerous, and of course, a stallion'... I'll admit, my girl was kind of aggressive towards men at first, but she got out of it... but I just ignored my cousin and she eventually came around, though she's still sometimes nervous around my girl... especially when her kids are riding Gyps.

I have another cousin who is, I've recently learned, somewhat jealous of me because I have two horses and he can barely hold a claim to one... because I trained both my horses with hardly no outside help, and he's never trained one... because he messed up his sisters mare and I got her back safe enough and confidant enough to ride... because I'm younger than him and don't go to him for everything... because I refuse to let him shoe my horse or even listen to him because he doesn't know what he's talking about... I could go on and on. I've recently heard that he talks about me behind my back to his friends, who are also pretty good friends of mine, about horses and how I'm not 'rough enough' with my horses... how I let them get away with too many things, how I'm stupid because I pay a professional farrier to shoe my horses and refuse when he offers to shoe them for free (and when he's drunk)... how I keep my horses either too skinny or too fat... how I work them too hard... I could go on and on... I just smile and nod and ignore it... he's jealous, the end. I think I know my horses better than he does, not the other way around and he's just a drama queen.

Maybe your BO's just jealous? Sounds like jealousy to me, at any rate... in my experience, most people who nag all the time and talk bad about you/your horses/your training methods/grooming methods/etcetera... are jealous of what you have.

Anyway, Cutter's your horse, you're paying for board, your BO really can't say anything. If you're not allowed to clean his stall the way you want... well, it's none of her business how you do things as long as you're safe, everyone else is safe, and all the other horses are safe and happy, and most importantly, your own horse is safe and happy.
 
#8 · (Edited)
Your BO is right and you're wrong, concerning pelleted bedding. You DON'T take out the urine soaked pellets because that's what makes them turn fluffy.

They'll be absorbent for quite awhile, and once they quit absorbing is when you take them out. Pellets are also more expensive than other bedding material, so I can see why the BO was peeved at you for discarding perfectly good bedding.

It doesn't matter how much you're paying for board; if you signed a contract, you abide by the rules of the barn. Period. If you don't like it there, then find somewhere else and get out of the BO's hair.

You don't sound like a perfect boarder either, already whining about how mean and unfair everything is, and I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem if you left.

BTW, no matter how much YOU love your sweetie pookie-kins horsie, if he's being aggressive with other animals he should be kept to himself. Why should the other boarders have to worry about their horses possibly getting hurt, just because your horse doesn't get along well with others?
 
#10 ·
You don't sound like a perfect boarder either, already whining about how mean and unfair everything is, and I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem if you left.
I agree. There are two sides to every story and the truth is typically somewhere in the middle.

If you have an issue and feel the need to vent in such detail - please e-mail your friends or PM posters who's opinion you value. A public forum is not the place to trash talk your barn. The horse world is small and bridges are easily burned.
 
#9 ·
Why would you move to a barn that you do not like the bo/bm prior to even moving there? That seems silly to me.

And yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to clean a stall. Even more so when it is the person who pays for the bedding is talking.
 
#15 · (Edited)
Then now is the time to try and mend fences with your BO.

Instead of complaining about her, ASK her how she'd like you to do things.

I love my trainer to death, but she and I will never see completely eye to eye on the care and feeding of horses. She has her ideas and I have mine. However, when I have a horse in with her for training, I go by the rules of her barn. When I take them home, I go by my own rules.

When you own your own place, you can do things the way you want. When it's someone else's barn, you do what they want. It's just that simple.

Be a proactive, happy boarder, not a problem. BOs will get rid of a problem boarder as soon as they can, and they'll warn others about the 'difficult' person they had to kick out.

The horse world is a small place; word gets around if you're a snarky, uncooperative boarder, and you'll eventually run out of places to take your horse if that happens.

Be the kind of boarder that a BO will be sad to see go, when you eventually move your horse. Trust me, it'll make for a happier atmosphere all around.

Also, get a signed contract ASAP! That not only protects the BO it also protects you, as well as spells out what the terms and conditions are for boarding.
 
#14 ·
Learning to accept how other people do things is a fact of life. Something as we grow we realize is not all bad.

Why not ask the BO nicely to show you how she wants the stall cleaned and apologize for getting off on the wrong foot. I bet things will go better if the BO thinks you are willing to follow the rules and do what needs to be done.

One of those things in life that people want to forget. When you board your horse you have to understand that it is their barn so their rules.
 
#17 ·
If he was gelded late, and especially if he was used for breeding before, there's a good chance he could have been aggressive at the time. In fact, there's a horse at my barn right now that was a breeding stallion for eight years and only gelded last December. He's as sweet as can be around people, and no one thought he would have problems with the other horses.

He was put out with the herd, and he beat the living **** out of my Thoroughbred. My horse was terrified of him and didn't provoke him at all. The new horse just saw him as a threat and charged him every time they even made eye contact. I saw Victor get pinned against the fence several times. He actually drove my horse through an electric fence and when I went out there, I found Vic covered in raw lesions. Not fun. A horse like that is more than capable of killing another horse, so I understand the other boarder's concerns.

The ex-stallion finally calmed down when Norman kicked the hell out of him. The new horse had no herd manners, and it's a shame we didn't think to turn him out with Norman in the first place. I would suggest that you try turning your horse out with some grouchy old broodmares or a horse that will teach him some manners. It's definitely possible that your guy was bullying the other horses before, and it's probably due to a lack of manners. I understand that you probably don't want to think that your horse is capable of being like that, but you have to take into consideration the fact that he was a stallion up until a few years ago. He may go back to being a bully, or he might be just fine now that he's had time to chill out. You have to be prepared for anything.

I hope everything works out for you, and good luck with your new barn.
 
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