Venting about a decision - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
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Well i'll be seeing her tomorrow, so i'll talk to her then.
We had three boarders leave, so she's getting 900 dollars less a month.
I was already told that she really can't afford it.
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post #22 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 03:23 PM
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Well i'll be seeing her tomorrow, so i'll talk to her then.
We had three boarders leave, so she's getting 900 dollars less a month.
I was already told that she really can't afford it.
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Again, that's not your problem.

She can advertise for new boarders, it's her business and income and that's what she should do. Her costs have also decreased as she is not feeding those horses.

There is very little that you can do to increase your Moms income.

Try not to feel as sorry for people, their decisions in life are their own - not yours.
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post #23 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 03:55 PM
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Her owner can't afford her shoes. So I'd feel terrible for just dropping that expense on her.
I've tried talking to my mom but she won't give me a straight up answer ):
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Her owner can't afford NOT to shoe this horse. If she takes proper care of her feet, she can get lease money from her. If the horse is lame barefoot, she can't get any money from her. Why would anybody want to lease a lame horse?
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post #24 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 03:59 PM Thread Starter
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She just wouldn't allow her to be leased.
If I want to continue leasing her, i'll need to pay at least half or a little more.
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post #25 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 04:24 PM
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I'm with joe...there has to be more options, so I'd be getting a second opinion on her feet. I have never heard of a horse getting abcesses from gravel (not to say it ain't possible, I have just never heard of it).

I assume it's the barn owner that owns this horse? You seem to know alot about her financial situation ( like maybe she bitches about it?), and not being able to afford $140 for shoeing....she chooses to own 12 (!) horses. If she can't afford minor maintanance upgrades(regular non corrective shoes are minor IMO) than maybe she ought to rethink owning 12(!!!) horses.

That's one part of good horse ownership that people don't talk enough about... there should be a little wiggle room in your horsey budget for things that pop up ( like the barefoot horse who now needs shoes).
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post #26 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 04:56 PM
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Lexie, your heart is in the right place but you can only do so much. You're 16.

Your mom must think the horse is pretty special to you, and, because you're very special to her, she'll gladly sacrifice her happiness for yours....because that's what a lot of loving mothers do.

Just the fact that you realize that it might become a problem for your mother does my heart good. It means you're becoming an adult and able to rationalize that the world is larger than yourself. Congratulation, you're growing up.

So, you're torn between your happiness, or your mothers well being in old age and retirement. Again, that's good....really good....now, you have to find your own solution. Do the math...write down the expenses and be honest with your mother. She might be able to do it but how much of a problem will it become for her if it goes on for a prolonged period of time? Can you live with yourself if it becomes a problem for her?

Maybe this abscess an such is a temporary situation that only need to be treated for a month or so? What's the long term prognosis for the horse? I mean, my horse is barefooted and abscessed a few years back but in a month or 6 weeks she was fine and hasn't never had another foot problem.

Did you ever consider that you might just be your mothers retirement plan? I mean, when she's not able to work are you going to care and provide for her like she has for you?

You're thinking about the right things....that's a good start.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

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post #27 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 05:02 PM
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It is a shame. I know when we moved to an area that had very sharp gritty lanes my always barefoot horse had to have shoes on after getting abcesses really soon after we got there
With shoes on she was fine but I had the benefit of being able to afford it
It could be that someone with more income would be willing to take on this horse
I can see that its not fair to expect your mum to deal with this. I love my horses but human family needs have to come first where finances are concerned
Hope you can solve the problem
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post #28 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 05:17 PM Thread Starter
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She'll keep getting abscesses if I don't shoe her.
Alsobher vet said that she needs shoes for support of her back muscles
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post #29 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 05:17 PM
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I have a hunch your mom's indirect answers have to do with allowing you the space to grow up and make your own decisions all the while crossing fingers and praying you'll make the correct one.

It's time for you to realize you're face to face with the gritty, unpleasant, grown up world of horse ownership. You can make the choice that it's not your horse and thus not your problem and go down the long, bumpy road to adulthood and learning how to manage money and thinking with your head or you can say that it's not your horse but you need to save the world and start with this horse and let people push their problems off on you from now on. If you choose this road you're in for a lot of use, abuse and .. losing a lot of money that could have been spent on things for YOU, not on someone else's problem.
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post #30 of 46 Old 10-17-2012, 05:25 PM Thread Starter
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I think another things holding me back is that I've known the BO since I was an infant.
I feel like I'd really hurt her if I didn't keep paying
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