I'm heartbroken but I know this is for the best. I just can't believe it happened so quickly. I'm trying to wrap my heart around it.
After everything we've been through, Carolina has moved on to another owner.
She wigged out on me completely this morning. It's the first time in my life I actually thought "Oh my God I'm about to die." And I've been through some pretty hairy situations thanks to the army.
There was a trainer there at the barn, not the one that owns it but visiting for a lesson. I hadn't yet moved Carolina to the closer barn. Anyway she got a hold of Carolina and calmed her down while I stood on the opposite side of the arena trying to catch my breath.
Then I broke into tears. I am ashamed to admit it but I knew I wasn't going to ever get back on Carolina. I have never been truly terrified of a horse but now I am.
We got to talking, the barn owner, the trainer, the barn owner's friend and I. The trainer wanted Carolina. She had the time, the money and the skill to work with her, I know her facility and it's impressive. I know she's a good person. If anyone can help Carolina it's her.
I thought I was ok with the decision. I cried again and left. I know I'm not the right person for Carolina, I wish to God I was.