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Wasted Potential and Selfish Efforts?

2K views 16 replies 14 participants last post by  Joidigm 
#1 ·
I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible, but I have a tendency to ramble.

Well, as some of you know, I leave for bootcamp for the Navy in October. This is something I've been looking forward practically my whole life (because even when I was younger I wanted to either be in the military or be a police officer), and I'm super excited to take the next step that will hopefully pave the way to a successful future and help form me into a more responsible, reliable, and independent person.

There is, however, something else that is super important to me and the reason I am on this forum...my horse. Red is my baabbbyyyy. As silly as it sounds, he truly has become one of my best friends. When people ask me who/what I'm going to miss the most for bootcamp/A school, I always say my horse.

All this in mind, I was told that I did not have to sell Red and that he could remain on my uncle's land for as long as I needed. Honestly, this horse is worth his weight in gold, so even if I do sell him, he's going to cost a pretty penny. The reason behind the title of this thread is because I am questioning my future with Red. I know that by my joining the military I am going to have to make quite a few sacrifices. However, one thing that I'm hesitant to give up is Red.

So, I was thinking that possibly while I was going through all of the training and whatnot, and until I settled down at a base, Red could stay with my uncle. My uncle rides very often. He takes his horses all over to some pretty significantly difficult trail rides and rides them hard and keeps them in shape. He took Red once, and Red absolutely loved the trails, and minus a few spooks, he did awesome on the trails.

Now, for the "wasted potential and selfish efforts". Red is a 2D barrel horse. Not only does he run a virtually consistant pattern every single time, he also is extremely level headed. I've had people laugh at me when I say he is a 2D horse because he plods around like an old man when he's not zooming around the barrels. As much as I want to keep him, I always feel a little guilty that I am wasting his talent. I'd hate to be the reason that he lost his super barrel racing abilities just because I'm not going to be able to show him.

I just really don't know what to do. I know for a few months AT LEAST...Red won't be able to be under my care. I feel like if I do keep him that I am somehow wasting his potential and abilities, but at the same time, it's going to be so hard for me to let him go.

So, if you read all of this (and managed to understand it lol), got any advice? Could I make this work? Or do I need to get rid of the pipe dream and sell him to someone who will put him to good use?
 
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#2 ·
I was in the Navy for eight years, loved it, and still work for the Navy 20 years later....

My first duty station was Hawaii, not an option to have a horse there on a E-1 to E-4 pay, plus as a new sailor you aren't going to have time...

My second duty station was the USS Jason, a destroyer tender - definately no room for a horse there, we did two trips to the Gulf for Desert Storm, I spent two years on that ship and visited ports in Guam, Hawaii, Hong Kong, Singapore , Thailand, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Oman, and Jebel Alli among others.

My next duty station was california, as a E6 I was finally able to board horses and enjoy them. This was about 6 years later... so my advice is to either accept your boy will be a pasture pet for many years or move him on and enjoy your time in the service and get another horse when your duty stations support it. Good luck and have fun - I loved my time in the Navy and still serve (I fly Navy communication satellites for a living).
 
#3 ·
I was in the Navy for eight years, loved it, and still work for the Navy 20 years later....

My first duty station was Hawaii, not an option to have a horse there on a E-1 to E-4 pay, plus as a new sailor you aren't going to have time...

My second duty station was the USS Jason, a destroyer tender - definately no room for a horse there, we did two trips to the Gulf for Desert Storm, I spent two years on that ship and visited ports in Guam, Hawaii, Hong Kong, Singapore , Thailand, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Oman, and Jebel Alli among others.

My next duty station was california, as a E6 I was finally able to board horses and enjoy them. This was about 6 years later... so my advice is to either accept your boy will be a pasture pet for many years or move him on and enjoy your time in the service and get another horse when your duty stations support it. Good luck and have fun - I loved my time in the Navy and still serve (I fly Navy communication satellites for a living).
Thank you for your service! I'm soooo excited and chomping at the bit for bootcamp to get here. :)

I really think he deserves a lot better than to be a pasture pet. He's just too good of a horse to sit back and not be put to good use.
 
#6 ·
I just really don't know what to do. I know for a few months AT LEAST...Red won't be able to be under my care. I feel like if I do keep him that I am somehow wasting his potential and abilities, but at the same time, it's going to be so hard for me to let him go.

So, if you read all of this (and managed to understand it lol), got any advice? Could I make this work? Or do I need to get rid of the pipe dream and sell him to someone who will put him to good use?
I don't think the horses look at things this way - he's your boy, he does what he does for you, with you. You're the one to know what he'll go for and what he won't. What someone else would do with him is pretty much irrelevant - he's *yours*.

My horse, for example, is a former GP show jumper. He loves to jump, yes. But he also loves hanging out in the paddock, and bullying other horses, and getting groomed and pampered, and being my ride, even though we do zero jumping. He's learning to be a dressage horse, because that's better for him at this point than dishing out any more pounding on his front legs. And he's pretty proud of his new moves. He knows when he's done a really good leg yield, and he struts. So - what does he really like? Company, being admired, getting plenty of exercise. We have to knock off for the winter because we don't have an indoor arena and the ground here gets icy. He does NOT like that - he gets a little pissy, starts to lose his manners. He needs to work (and be admired!).

So it's not going to slay your boy if you lay him off while you're in boot camp. He might miss you, but it's not going to ruin him as a ride. And if he's happy being your ride, whatever you're doing, and you're happy having him as your horse, then that's that. What someone else might do with him doesn't actually matter.
 
#8 ·
The lease option may be difficult if you are on a ship or in a duty station that has limited communication - say he is hurt, needs care, the leasee needs something or does something you don't agree with ... it will be very hard for you to ensure his care when you are on a ship and headed overseas... plus, enlisted pay is low and that may come into play as well. Not that it cannot be done, but be aware of the limitations you will have.

If your family can oversee the lease for you (perhaps your uncle?) that might help you out quite a bit if you go that option...
 
#9 ·
I was Air Force, not Navy, but I can't imagine keeping a horse while in the military. I spent 9 out of 25 years based overseas, and was deployed about 5-6 months a year for much of the remaining time. When home, I normally worked 12 hour days.

I did a tour with the Navy at Whidbey Island. We deployed a lot, but were probably gone less total time than the folks in the carrier based squadrons.

Not all military jobs are like that. You might try a lease for a year, until you know a bit more about what your future will be like. But if you sell then, and your horse hasn't been doing well with the barrels, you may lose money. I can't speak to the barrel racing side of things...just know that many military jobs leave little time for family, let alone horses. And many bases really have no option open for keeping a horse.
 
#10 ·
If you do let him go you will have many regrets about it! I have had so many bad thoughts about a horse that I had to let go, it still haunts me. Maybe see if you have a friend or family member near where he is being kept that has an interest in horses. Even of he isn't being put on barrels, somebody you know taking him on trails would be good for him. Leasing does get a bit hard when your away. Good luck!
 
#11 ·
Why does it have to be wasted potential? You love him, he's yours, and he is going to be (hopefully) well cared for by your uncle until you come home to him. So what if he isn't in competition?

My dogs could have been excellent SARs or agilitiy dogs, especially my German Shepherd Dog. But I didn't do that with him. He was a glorified couch ornament and guard dog. Is that wasted potential to not use him even though he could leap, bound, and dance like a cat (literally, it was a game for him to chase the cat and make every maneuver she did, and he did it well)? Heck no! He made me happy just being there with me, and I know he was happy when he was with me. That's not a waste, not at all.

Let your horse be there for you when you come home. He is someone to come home to, and when you go through the extreme rigors of military training (I know the Navy can be particularly strenuous) and then the following tech schooling, he's going to be your shining light. Don't lose that by selling him or giving/leasing him to someone else you will have to worry about. You won't be able to see much of him while you're on the pipeline, but maybe your uncle can send you pictures.

I would really hate to hear you losing hope because the thing you love most, that gives you the most hope, you let not be there for you.
 
#12 ·
I agree with the others in that you obviously love your horse and should hold onto him if you can. It sounds like he will still be kept active with your uncle and also if you look at leasing him. There are so many horses that never reach their 'true potential' but the horses surely dont care about that as long as they are loved, fed and kept healthy. Even if you find him a great home there is always the possibility that down the line he will end up in a less than ideal environment which you would have no control over. At least leaving him with your uncle will give you peace of mind that he is in a familiar caring home while you are away.
 
#13 ·
Right now, I can't help but think that your life is turning in a different direction. I think it is hard enough to keep horses in the ideal situation. You won't be settled again for a while. It's not just a matter of boot camp and then that's it. If it were me, I think I'd try and find my horse a really good home. That will give you an opportunity to focus on your dreams and career, without having the added stress of a horse.
 
#14 ·
I think the others gave you some great advice.

I wanted to chime in as someone who did a tour in the Navy. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, since I am out now the benifits alone easily make up for the time lost from my family and 'regular life.'

What are you going in the navy for? My first tour was also in Hawaii, but Oahu has an army base with a riding-club on it that you can self-board your horse for like 50 dollars a month (the price may have changed.) I wasn't on a ship, and if I had a horse (and the money!) i would have shipped him over for 3 years of fun and sun, and beach riding!

Though if I had been stationed on a boat, it would have been impossible to keep my horse with me.

You will get a better idea of what you want to do with him once you're in A school and get your oders. If you have the chance to go overseas, go for it!
 
#17 ·
What are you going in the navy for? My first tour was also in Hawaii, but Oahu has an army base with a riding-club on it that you can self-board your horse for like 50 dollars a month (the price may have changed.) I wasn't on a ship, and if I had a horse (and the money!) i would have shipped him over for 3 years of fun and sun, and beach riding!
That reminds me that the Naval base in Millington, TN does have a boarding barn, and military gets first choice boarding (they allow civies, but civies get knocked back on the list if a stall opens and another military person comes in).

I don't know if the Seabees down here in MS has one though. But that is something to consider as well. The military moves your stuff for you, or if you move it, they pay you back what you moved. I know dogs don't count, but I would ask your TMO (iirc I think it is called TMO, the office you talk to about moving your household for TDY or PCS) about details on moving horses once you are out of the pipeline and on active duty orders. They move motorcycles, RV's, boats, and various other watercraft for their people. I know horses are livestock and different rules probably apply, but definitely ask. :D
 
#15 ·
First of all, thank you so much for your dedication to our country and your decision to sacrifice in order to serve.

Secondly, I agree 100% with everyone else who has commented. Red is your BABY, as you stated. It's scary letting them go to someone else, but as you stated, you're sure your uncle will take great care of him and ride him fairly regularly. This way, you have more time to figure out what's best for Red and yourself later on down the road.

The Navy is a big sacrifice, so allow yourself to have such a loving, inspiring reward waiting for you with a nuzzle when you get home.
 
#16 ·
I have a very talented horse. I am not a talented rider. HOWEVER, my horse does not care what level of dressage he does. He is happy to be well fed and taken care of. He has no ambitions of his own.........

Your horse will be happy to be fed an well taken care of. He has no riding/competition goals.

You may regret selling what sounds like your once in a lifetime horse. And in MHO, if your uncle is trail riding with him he's gaining valuable training. Good trail horses are worth their weight in gold!
 
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