Well, I said goodbye today - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 09:59 PM Thread Starter
Yearling
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Soon to be South Carolina
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Well, I said goodbye today

I sold my horse today. I keep telling myself it's what was best for him.
I never thought my heart would feel ripped in two.
All of this for some stupid truck.
All because I had to be stupid and hit someone, I lost my boy.
He really was special to me. My hero really.
I know he's going to a good home. They were prepared to bring him home. I saw the trailer and I knew it was the end. The end of our story together, but not the end to it all.
One of these days, when I can afford it better, I'll have another.

Life's shining moments, however big or small, will always out weigh our darkest hour.
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post #2 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 10:12 PM Thread Starter
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I gave him the usual pat on the shoulder and the scratch on the forehead, nothing more. I knew if I lingered, I'd break my false calm. I'd lose it, crying to them, "Take the money! Just let me keep my baby!"
I love him far too much to hinder his well-being though. He deserves so much more than what I can selfishly provide. I'm just going to miss him. I still cannot believe I watched that trailer pull away without a struggle. I cried a few tears and went to work. Cleaned my stall out, took what little was left of my other belongings and sent them aside. I even took the stall card out. I looked it over a while. It read "Horse owner: Reann Phillips".
Not anymore. I'm still looking at the card, the ink is now running from my tears.
I'm typing and I can barely see the keyboard.

My heart is literally breaking. I don't want to feel this new found pain. It aches, almost burns.
Why didn't I feel like this when I sold my first horse? Does this pain mean I choose wrong? I don't know, I fear I've made a terrible mistake.

I'm going to check up on Apollo and his new family in a few days. I dare not call them, I probably wouldn't be able to speak.

Someone, tell me I'm dreaming. Wake me up, shake me from this nightmare.
Please?

Life's shining moments, however big or small, will always out weigh our darkest hour.
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post #3 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 10:12 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Sorry you had to sell your boy but it sounds like you made a great decision for him, rather than for you.
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post #4 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 10:33 PM
THN
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Keep that card. Right now it is a sad thing, but let it be inspiration to work hard to be in a place where you can be "Horse owner: Reann Phillips" again.
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post #5 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 11:10 PM
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And keep writing! Use this to let yourself write and develop the skill.
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post #6 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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I will. Its going to be hard for me but I will have another one.
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post #7 of 8 Old 11-02-2011, 11:17 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine.

My grandma always says, "This too shall pass." I bet you'll feel at least a little better when you visit him and see that he's in a good home. And who knows? Lives change. Maybe he'll end up with you again someday.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
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post #8 of 8 Old 11-03-2011, 01:30 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say, except that I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. (hugs)

"Anything is possible, if you have enough nerve" -JK Rowling
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