What did I get myself into? VENTISH - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 11:59 AM Thread Starter
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What did I get myself into? VENTISH

This is just me spouting to other horse people, so don't run me over

J's started 4-H this year and is in the horse & pony project with old man Odie. Her best friend was in the horseless horse project last year and had a TERRIBLE experience.

So ever the horseperson who can't stand people have bad experiences with horses, thought it would be ok if we took her on as our horseless horse groom. Yeah, it's J's first year, but I've been "around the block" a few times. And since I'll be there 100% of the time, it's not actually J teaching her anything. They'll be learning together. A positive. They both understand that IF I think they are ready, they MIGHT be able to show. I've been very clear that showing during the year and at the fair is a MAYBE and not a guarantee. Which they are perfectly fine with.

Then last night we hit a snag I learned they just started taking riding lessons this last month (good, right?) Nope, they are with a person that I have found out from others as well as recent observations to be CLUELESS! And they absolutely LOVE her. I understand that my way is not the only way, and learning from many people is a good thing. But they are very new to this, and I'm afraid having them do things differently from their new trainer will confuse and frusterate the little girl.

When I talked to her (the HHG's) mom, I expressed my concern about my doing things differently than their trainer and not wanting to confuse or frusterate her daughter. But that there are certain things that will need to be done "my" way. Example: trainer wants kids to ALWAYS have a chain OVER the nose when leading and to be holding the chain, not the rope, the chain. NO!! Trainer doesn't require her to brush the horse since the hair gets in her eyes and bothers her. NO!! When she feels like quitting because she's tired or frustrated, the trainer lets her hop off and leave. NO!! I could go on.

I used to give lessons quite often, and may POSSIBLY starting to again, so we agreed that the HHG can start taking lessons from me as well, but that she still wants her daughter to take lessons from the "trainer".

...And that's when the "trainer" jumped in. She thinks it'd be a good idea that if I'm willing to trailer, I could bring him over for the HHG to ride and get more confidence on. And then both girls could take lessons from her. OH H*** NO!!

WHAT DID I DO??? See, this is why I'm so mean, everytime I try to be nice it turns around and bites me square in the A**

"Just because I don't do things your way, doesn't mean I don't have a clue"
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post #2 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 12:14 PM
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No good deed goes unpunished?
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post #3 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 12:14 PM
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I don't really have any advice, but I want to say sorry about the situation you're in :( by the sound of it, I don't think I'd be too crazy about this girl either. You need someone that will teach good skills to kids! Kids always leading horses with chains over their noses is not good.
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post #4 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 12:28 PM
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I'm a little confused, Busy. Who is J? Your child?

Who is 'they' who have been taking lessons with this other person? You only mentioned one other child besides J, so who is 'they'?

As far as you trailering your horse for lessons with another trainer? BAAHAAHAAA! Other trainer has big, shiny, brass ovaries to even suggest that!

Tell HHG's mumsy dearest that you will stick to original plan of HHG not riding, and if she thinks other trainer is so great, then OT can take J to shows.
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post #5 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 12:32 PM
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I don't even know where to start. Some 4-H situations just make me shake my head. It stinks that you are kind of between a rock and a hard place, makes it tough to really help. Not sure what advice I'd give because we are all different but if it were me and they still wanted the other girl going to the other trainer that teaches things that could potentially get them hurt or are wrong (putting your hand on the chain in a 4-H class is an instant DQ here) I would simply not offer the opportunity. It would be on my terms or it wouldn't be at all.

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #6 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 12:46 PM
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Wow a chain over the nose of a 4H youth horse? Really?!

"How about some training duct tape over thy mouth Missy-so-called-trainer-Jane!"

I ditto everyone else, adding bold, italics and large print; especially on:

It would be on my terms or it wouldn't be at all.

We had some issues in 4-H when my son was this age but, nothing like this. The worse thing we had to deal with were lazy kids Even the know-it-all-moms kept a good and quiet head on their shoulders.

A Good Horseman Doesn't Have To Tell Anyone; The Horse Already Knows.
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post #7 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 01:24 PM Thread Starter
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Speed, sorry. Yeah, J is my daughter. 'They' are the HHG / J's best friend. And what I didn't tell you guys is that HHG's dad is the Pastor. YIPPPEEEE!!! not!!

The HHG (& family) is very quiet and are definatley followers and don't like to make waves. So they are very apprieciative of me in that, I tend to speak my mind and have done all this before so am not intimidated by it.

HHG's mom said she would like her to continue lessons just for awhile with the 'trainer' because she (the girl) rides a half dead pony and that builds her confidence. Which I'm all for!!! Just this 'trainer' leaves a lot to be desired. Unfortunatley it's slim pickings in the lesson market here:( There's only 2 that have lesson horses. The one they go to, and 1 that is very good, but makes grown men cry.

I haven't talked to our trainer about giving the HHG a few lessons w/ Odie, but she wasn't taking any new kids when J started. She just took us on because I had been with her for so long, so I'm not sure I want to ask her. I did mention the POSSIBILTY of our trainer to HHG mom last night, but when I told her how much $$, I think I scared her, lol.

As far as the 'trainer' is concerned, there's quite a few of us parents that grew up together in 4-H that don't approve of her methods and have voiced concern to the project committee. However, she's the past chair-person and the current leader for all the HHG's. Basically, she's willing to donate a lot of her time, so they don't do anything other than comment that we are free not to use her methods or take lessons from her.

That's fine for those of us who know better, BUT there's 218 NEW members this year!!! Over 80% of those are first time horse owners, NOT kids that are finally old enough to join that have always been around horses. Since it's J's first year (so to them it's also my first year:O) I can't be a project leader or on any committee. Which I'll probably end up doing next year....if I survive this year.

MH, it is a rule here to about the hand on the chain. I think it's a breed rule as well.... this lady just boggles my mind.

Another thing about this 'trainer' that I found out last night is that she is trying to get it a rule that ANYTIME you are around a horse you MUST wear a helmet & vest. Not just when riding, but when feeding, leading, bathing, loading, brainding/banding, clipping, cleaning a stall with a horse in it, showing (showmanship, WP, Hunt, Saddleseat, jumping, Dressage, etc.) If that magically gets passed, I'll no longer have to worry about any of the HHG stuff, BECAUSE WE WON'T BE IN 4-H!!!!!

Like I said, I'm all for the HHG taking lessons elsewhere & not on Odie. Just not with this 'Trainer".

"Just because I don't do things your way, doesn't mean I don't have a clue"
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post #8 of 8 Old 02-19-2013, 01:47 PM
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I disagree entirely with the helmet on at all times. I was at a place who did that and I was miserable. I'd wear one to ride, but all the time is a little over the top. A vest all the time is a bit extreme too.

I'm for helmets though I don't ride in one anymore. I didn't stop riding in one until I was 25. I'm not against one, and my daughter wears one when she rides. I just don't and feel its a personal choice. My daughter doesn't wear one on the ground and I don't require her to do that, but she will wear one to ride until she's 18. I wouldn't enroll her anywhere that you had to have a helmet and vest on the ground. The 4H seems a little paranoid about safety.

A chain should never be used except by those who know how to use one and can utilitze the timing correctly. Its a training device. Not for a beginner and if the horse requires a chain to be handled, its not a beginner horse.

I was never a part of 4H. It seemed kind of unecessary to me and when I did think about joining and was given an example of the things they do (through a friend), it was a back-track because I already knew it. No need to relearn the same stuff over again.

If you're really unhappy about the situation, walk away. Tolerate it if your daughter really enjoys it, and support her, but I'd be cautious about offering my horse for others to use in the program. This stuff seems to happen a lot.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
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