What do I do now? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

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post #11 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 05:24 PM
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I guess I can relate to her, where when I was younger I bought a young horse and was over horsed for years. I was bucked off constantly and got back on constantly. I started hated riding. I resented it, and he was a pain. I finally sold him to someone who could handle him and got me a different horse. We were both happier in the end.

Again, she's just not a trainer. Trainers take on horses that they don't "click" with in order to train them. She's just a hobby rider. Hobby riders want safe, calm horses to relax on. They don't want to struggle with their mount and spend years just trying to make the best of it.

This is a situation where the rider and horse just don't get along. Time to break up the relationship and go their separate ways. They'll be happier with other partners in crime. I don't call that "quitting" or "giving up". Sometimes compatability just doesn't happen.
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post #12 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 05:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Copperhead View Post
I guess I can relate to her, where when I was younger I bought a young horse and was over horsed for years. I was bucked off constantly and got back on constantly. I started hated riding. I resented it, and he was a pain. I finally sold him to someone who could handle him and got me a different horse. We were both happier in the end.

Again, she's just not a trainer. Trainers take on horses that they don't "click" with in order to train them. She's just a hobby rider. Hobby riders want safe, calm horses to relax on. They don't want to struggle with their mount and spend years just trying to make the best of it.

This is a situation where the rider and horse just don't get along. Time to break up the relationship and go their separate ways. They'll be happier with other partners in crime. I don't call that "quitting" or "giving up". Sometimes compatability just doesn't happen.

No no quitting was not meant in that sense...quitting in the sense of letting tiger get away with to much and not being able to put a stop to it .. and just walking away from it.. again not the ops fault, they didn't know.

But most horses once they find out the rider is also the leader in the herd generally settle down and become good mounts because they are comfortable.

If the op learned how to enforce her self as leader I think you would see a completely different horse and probably a decent horse to ride with minimal(sp) problems other then the little quirks.

And there is no better confidence then that of something you fear and overcome it... it could be a break through. Or you could move on to a new quiet horse and realize that they don't have enough spark for you.. it works both ways :(
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post #13 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 05:57 PM
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I think she'll get better at this whole horse thing when she has had some good horses to ride and be able to confidently approach one without getting scared. The lessons should have never stopped at such an early age. It just takes time and some safe horses. When she's confident enough with those safe horses, then she can challenge herself a little if she wanted.

I really think that getting back on a horse is overcoming a lot, in her situation. A lot of people I meet tell me "I rode a horse once and fell off. Never got on one again". Sometimes the sport just isn't for them. It seems like the OP stopped learning from the time she stopped lessons, years ago. It probably didn't have to get this bad if she had continued them. She could have grown and learned a lot from him with propper instruction. Probably would have felt the same way towards him though :P

I know a woman that's about twice my age and has ridden her entire life, and rides trails all the time. She bought a mare last year and she's bucked her off a lot. She isn't a trainer, doesn't like training, so she sold the mare to someone who had been wanting her since she was for sale the first time (and knew her personality and habits) and got a calmer gelding.

Really, its a breath of relief to know the OP still wants to ride after all of her "failures" with this gelding. I really like the fact that she didn't take our "inexperienced" comments as an insult, as most horse people would. She agreed, she is inexperienced, even with how young she started, and she's looking to end this as best she can and rebuild from the ground up.

But I'm rambling. She can learn on safer horses and build on that, and eventually become experienced enough to handle horses like Tiger one day.
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post #14 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 06:25 PM
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I agree that you may have been 'over-horsed' from the getgo. However, a quitter is not what I would call you - it actually seems that you tend to keep trying over and over...that's not quitting, that's taking a step back, regrouping, and giving it another try.

But this guy might not be the best match, and that is perfectly fine! Keep him as a pet (just make sure he knows you are the boss mare, of course!) and keep riding the other horses and learning. Always keep learning. Make sure that as you work with the other horses, that you always set yourself up for a positive experience. Your confidence will soar, and you will be able to take on more challenging things as time goes by.

Do not let this horse get you down - in fact, it is okay if you want to be mad at him a bit - it will help you to 'let it go' so that your experiences with him doesn't get in the way of having GREAT experiences with other horses.

Even Tiger has taught you a few things - maybe the biggest is to be respectful of those big horses and how to be a little quicker/more reactive around them. This experience coupled with the new experiences you are gaining riding the other horses, can quite possibly turn you into quite the horsewoman over time.

Pet Tiger on the head when you can, but spend your time learning with the more responsive horses. Take a deep breath and just try to have a little fun. Sounds like you deserve it! AND, good job for hanging in there all of these years. It tells alot about your personality - courage and brains.
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post #15 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 07:13 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Copperhead View Post
I really think that getting back on a horse is overcoming a lot, in her situation. A lot of people I meet tell me "I rode a horse once and fell off. Never got on one again". Sometimes the sport just isn't for them. It seems like the OP stopped learning from the time she stopped lessons, years ago. It probably didn't have to get this bad if she had continued them. She could have grown and learned a lot from him with propper instruction. Probably would have felt the same way towards him though :P
This is actually true, because even though I've only been exercising these two other geldings for a little while, i've learned some new things and gotten more confident again, but I still feel the same way about Tiger. I don't feel the desire to go back and try again with him. Although I do enjoy going out and loving on him a little bit, I don't want to try to ride him anymore. :)
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post #16 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 09:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Copperhead View Post
This is a situation where the rider and horse just don't get along. Time to break up the relationship and go their separate ways. They'll be happier with other partners in crime. I don't call that "quitting" or "giving up". Sometimes compatability just doesn't happen.

Reminds me of a horse I bought years ago. At 17 hh and built like a train, he was a tall TB looking quarter horse. Four years old, never been broke - in fact, he was sent to a trainer to be trained but began bucking and the trainer sent him back to the lady I bought him from telling her that he was untrainable. I think that the trainer was 'out-horsed' and tho she had good intentions, she actually reinforced the bucking!

Somehow I managed to put two years on him going slowly - he still bucked dirty from time to time (and I ended up with a broken hip) and got him going pretty good. That horse had scope! He was a superb jumper. But he didn't care for me one bit, and right when I was on the fence trying to decide if he needed to find a new home, that's when he threw me down HARD and my hip gave. Easy decision.

I healed but stayed off of him b/c I didn't want him to continue to think it was ok to buck. I passed up many an offer from some crazy people that really had no clue, to big cowboy types that wanted a horse that could throw a steer. Even tho this horse actually was the first horse to put the 'fear' into me (I was in my late 20's at the time with over 15 yrs of training horses behind me and was never scared of any of them), I still waited and found him the perfect home.

He is now a novice eventer with a lovely family who is using all of his talents to the max. He immediately clicked with their son and from time to time they send me great pics of all of his accomplishments. He has turned into quite an animal over the last several years!

So yes, no matter what your intentions are, how good a trainer you are or how hard you work, sometimes the chemistry just isn't there. Even tho this guy beat me up, I held out - he had 'something' there and I wasn't about to let it go to waste.

So now every winter when I get an achy hip (arthritis) - it reminds of this time I flew thru the air......
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post #17 of 17 Old 07-25-2012, 10:07 PM
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I agree with copperhead, not every human relationship works; therefore not every horse relationship will work. The seller should be whipped! What you are feeling about the 2 geldings is how it should be, unless you are a trainer, or someone that is experienced enough to handle what some horses have to dish out.It doesnt mean the horse is bad , it doesnt mean you are bad, or dumb or anything, you two just arent meant for each other. I have a huge standardbred that EVERY ONE thinks is too studdy and has a bad attitude. Not to me! I love hime he is awsome, my bud, my heart horse. But he will buck everyone,but me,before me and a couple I let get on(no one anymore) but we get each other!sometimes that's all it is I think.My DNA gets his DNA. So take some time keep riding maggies horses and see where things take you!
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