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What to do when your backed in to a corner?

2K views 18 replies 12 participants last post by  HollyLolly 
#1 ·
**long post**
Things with Zoey are going nowhere. I've had her for a year now and she is well as I said, going nowhere. I see so many people around me going so far with there horses in such little time. For example I have a friend who is the same age as me and she got a completely wild brumby and she is easier to do things with then Zoey. I'm not having fun riding Zoey matter of fact, I'm secretly scared. I am receiving from with depression and I have mental break downs and having a bad day with Zoey starts it. I get that in riding people and horses have their bad days. When Zoey has one she might as well straight of the track, she doesn't turn, stop, relax, flex anything. And if I don't give her her own way she does this little half rear thing. Normally that wouldn't scare me but she has flipped, that's right FLIPPED backwards onto me so I get extremely frighten when she now gets cranky I get scared which doesn't help. Thank you for reading.
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#6 ·
The only good ones are on site ones(so I would have to go to them) which is tricky as the person who's float and car I use (and she drives) is renovating so she is extremely busy. Me and Zoey have been through a lot of good as well though.
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#7 ·
Sorry if you already said this, but did Zoey come from the track? How long have you had her and how old is she?

Owning and riding horses should be a joy most of the time. I believe a heart horse becomes a heart horse because of the joy you experience together as working partners. If riding Zoey is making you frustrated and depressed, I do not see how she can be your heart horse. That is just my opinion, but maybe something to ponder.

If you truly feel you and Zoey have something special between you, find a trainer to help you. Judge the trainer by the success they have in helping you manage your horse and your fear, not on the methods they use. From what you said, it doesn't sound like things are working using the methods you are comfortable with, so it is time to change. Be open minded and willing to try any methods the trainer recommends (so long that they do not cause physical or mental harm).

If you are not willing or able to work with a trainer, maybe it is time to look for a different mount, and a trainer that will help you rebuild your confidence.
 
#9 ·
This is how I was starting to feel and trust me, I have my heart horse too. I've had him since he was born and have done everything myself. I've been doubting how I trained him because he recently has started to get so much worse and also was backing into corners and beginning to pop a rear. He has never done that before.

I have a trainer that I love and we have been through it all together. Her advice when he started acting like that was put your hands forward (hard, I know) and push forward. It did work with him...for a while.

I bought a back on track pad last weekend. Back pain was my last idea before deciding it was just behavioral and he needed a good training boot camp. Well, I have a completely different horse now. He's supple, responsive, wanting to work, and has had no problems behavior wise so far.

My advice:

1. Get a trainer that you BOTH like.
2. Find out if she is trying to tell you something, especially if it has recently gotten worse. The only way to communicate with us according to them is by doing something obvious and big.
3. Consult with vet/farrier/chiro/trainer to rule out medical issues and get down to why she may be doing it.

Good luck!
 
#10 ·
I wonder if she is the right type of horse for your type of human. If you suffer from depression and anxiety, such a needy horse would not be a good match, imo. I would talk to you mum and see if you can't consider looking for a quieter horse. riding is supposed to be fun!
 
#11 ·
I think it's perfectly sensible that you are feeling scared. I would be too with the horse behaving the way it is.

Continuing in this way is simply not an option for you. You need to find some way to change it, either with a trainer, getting rid of the horse, or stopping riding it.
 
#13 ·
Its costs just as much to feed and stable a good horse as it does a good horse.......I can not say it more! I would not waste my time or money on a horse like that. I would sooner do without a horse at all until I could afford a horse more suited to how I think I would like a ride to be.

This is getting you down, not good. I too have layed awake at night wondering what the heck I have done wrong or what I have to do to fix a problem. And if the horse scares you, you will not be able to progress any further because the horse will continue to intimidate you.

Unless you choose not to let this horse to dominate your every waking moment, you will have an uphill battle. I recommend finding somewhere you can go and ride some well trained, gentle, responsive horses so that you can regain your confidence.

I feel for you. All the best.
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#16 ·
Oooops I meant a good horse as a bad horse.....darn fuzzy brain I am!
 
#14 ·
Why do I think you are not treating your horse like a horse should be dealt with but want the lovey cuddles? Is this why you dropped your trainer? This horse has you figured out and she doesn't see you as her heart person because that is not part of a horse's makeup. I think you need to go back to that trainer and hope she will work with the two of you. If the horse needs a smack, so be it. Horses kick each other to gain respect.
 
#19 ·
I'm sorry to hear she is making you feel this way. I've been around horses for many years, and there have been a couple who I just haven't clicked with, and it can be a very upsetting relationship. The thing is, you've given this horse a year to adapt to each other, but it hasn't happened. Sometimes, you just don't click, and it's not a happy relationship for you or the horse, maybe it's time to cut your losses and say bye to this horse. Even if you love her (heck, I've loved ALL my horses, even the ones I didn't click with them. Agreed, at the same time as me always loving the ones I didn't click with, there were so many times when I hated them. Now, that's not a healthy relationship for anybody, and certainly not fair on the horse. These couple of horses, I made sure they went to very knowledgeable, loving homes, and I know that they are both loved dearly now, and I know I did the right thing)
 
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