What happened with my daughter....... - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Indiana
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What happened with my daughter.......

Just a short version for all who were so kind, concerned and thoughtful over the weekend - thank you, again, btw.

(I know that the horse world is a small community, and I do know there are other IN/KY members here, so you may or may not know the other party involved and, if so, please know that I am presenting the facts as I know them, am not interested in any arguments, fighting, etc and am not at all involved in the dealings regarding this horse and the owner-s)

On Friday my daughter (15) went to ride with a neighbor girl. DD's horse had been being a real pill the night before, so I was not comfortable with the girls heading out with her, so it was decided they would take two of the horses from the other girl's bunch. They have been making payments on a group of three mares - and had a gelding already - so actual ownership is murky waters, which does come into play

They were riding on the trails behind the other family's property, where we all ride quite frequently. Everything was going well, and they decided to have a bit of a canter across an area we often use for just that. At some point, DD's mount stumbled and immediately pulled up with an obvious problem (vs just recovering and moving on), so DD dismounted and immediately saw that the front leg had broken. She unsaddled the mare and sent the other girl back to the house to get help.

They were able to get our trailer back to the horse using a tractor and were able to load her, but it became clear within just a short distance that she was not going to make the ride out to the road, let alone to a clinic. To keep her from going down in the trailer-in our little trailer she'd have been hoplessly stuck and become even more injured - we unloaded her and she went down. (I got there just as they had pulled up when she started to go down in the trailer)

We were able to keep her calm and did what we could to minimize the unpleasantness. Their vet was stuck in surgery and was going to be some time in arriving. (sanitized version from here) I was in the process of calling our vet when the other party(person horses being purchased from) arrived on scene. Things got a bit wonky, there was a disagreement over how to proceed - the horse became panicked and ended up further injuring the leg (it became a compound fracture) which is also when my safety became seriously endangered - and the situation was quickly escalating. The decision was made not to wait for the vet (the change in the injury made that necessary regardless). The horse was put down.

That is the short of it..............

DD is absolutely beside herself still. Although she was spared the last bit (we had forced the girls to start towards the house before things went really bad, however when I left the scene I was not something that they should have seen and they did, which was in and of itself traumatizing) she is really dealing with some stuff. We're taking it a day at a time at this point. The neighbors have been wonderful with DD, very supportive, and not assigning blame in the slightest--the other owner was less so, which I am chalking up to extreme emotional distress and lack of clear thinking because things that were said should not have been said to an adult, let alone a distraught child. I had never met her before this day and I would like to think that the person I saw is not the person she truly is - I know how emotions run high in situations such as this.

Again, THANK YOU to all of you. Even though I didn't say much when I initially posted I knew that this was someplace I could turn for the support I needed in that moment - and that it would come from those who would truly "get it".
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post #2 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 01:43 PM
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I feel sorry that your DD had to go through that. I hope that she isn't being held responsible for the accident, things happen. Sounds like she did the right things though.
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post #3 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 01:47 PM
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I'm so sorry Mac. That's a tough thing to go through at any age, let alone at 15. Sending jingles your way.

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #4 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 01:48 PM
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Mac, I certainly do hope the seller was just overwrought and didn't mean what they said, especially to a child.

As horse owners we know that sh*t happens, even when all precautions have been taken, and the best care given. These are very large but fragile animals. No one is to blame here. NOBODY.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #5 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 01:49 PM
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I'm really sorry your daughter had to be the one that was riding the horse when the injury occured. But from reading your post... I can see this happening to ANYONE, especially a teenager.

I can't tell you how many times I've raced across a corn field or a vacant lot. There are divits, and gopher holes and rocks and whatever else. It could have happened to anyone and I know you've told your daughter this time and time again but the guilt that a person has to deal with when things like this happen is tremendous.

I remember once I had put my siberian husky in the front yard, tied to a tree while I fixed the fence in the back yard. The neighbors cat was in the front yard. I saw it cornered and without thinking, I picked up the cat. My only thought was to toss the cat over the fence to safety because my dog had killed the neighbors puppy just a week before. (the same neighbor). Anyway, why I didn't just hold the dog and let the cat get away on it's own, I have no idea. I picked up that cat though and it freaked out was scratching to get away and I dropped it. Right in Shadows mouth. She killed it right in front of me. All I could think was, that was my fault. I took a shower trying to wash the guilt away and I still, to this day, have moments that my gut just feels tight because of a bad decision.

In this case, the girls didn't do anything wrong. They just had a great day and went for a ride. It is no ones fault. It is just going to take time to get over it.

As for the owner/seller, While I understand the need to place blame on someone (it's a natural reaction), it was wrong to hurt a child with words that cut. What he/she was thinking, I have no idea. Hopefully she will come to her sences and maybe even apoligize. But don't hold your breath. Some people can really get nasty... :(

Tell your daughter people all over the US are praying for her.

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
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post #6 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 02:00 PM
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Our prayers are certainly with her. Is the seller asking that y'all pay for the deceased horse? What would he have done had the people in the contract had been riding the horse?
Humans are more important than animals, period.
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post #7 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 02:12 PM
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Wow .. what a mess. I'm so sorry. {{hugs}}
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post #8 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 02:29 PM
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I am so sorry that this happened. I can only imagine how hard it is for everyone right now. Sending good thoughts your way!
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post #9 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 03:30 PM
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It was an accident. No one is or should be at fault.

I can understand that your daughter is feeling guilt. But let her know, as I'm sure you have, that she is not to blame. She did everything she could have done and the events that happened afterwards was out of her hands.

Your family, as well as all those involved will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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post #10 of 37 Old 04-09-2012, 03:58 PM
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Gosh what a terrible situation!

I'm glad to hear that your daughter was not injured and was able to dismount safely...

As for the rest? It's terrible, but it happens. It's no one's fault...

(((hugs))) to your daughter.

Leasing a spoiled rotten trail horse...pretty - but a brat!
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