What should I do? Friend wants to ride my mare, but not the way I want her to.

The title is a little misleading...

I have a friend who is a few years younger than I am (ok, more than a few... I'm almost nineteen, my friend is thirteen... I think, she may be twelve...). Anyway, I have a ride planned with her (her name is Shanna) and our other friend (Brandi) for this coming Saturday. Brandi is fifteen, so I'm the oldest.

Anyway, Shanna is going to ride my mare Gypsie because one of her horses is too old and is basically crippled from lots of rough riding when she was younger, another of her horses is a nutcase and she's scared of riding him, and her other horse is getting over a bout of founder and doesn't have shoes.

Let me get on with this, though... I don't mind Shanna riding my mare. I actually invited her to ride Gypsie, but she wants to ride in my english saddle. Normally, I wouldn't mind too much, but seeing as how I have two western saddles and one endlish saddle, I'd prefer it for her to ride in my mares western saddle. I don't mind her riding in the english saddle, but my mare tends to buck and likes to kick up her heels when she's in a good mood.

Shanna is a pretty good rider, but my mare can throw some doozies and can twist around in the air like a fish outta water. I don't want her to get hurt by falling off the english saddle... i'd rather she ride in the western saddle that way she can hang on a little better if my mare does decide to throw a buck or two in. Plus, we're planning on riding up some mountain trails (maybe, I haven't quite okayed these trail plans just yet because i'm going to be riding my coming three year old and he's only been on two trail rides so far, even though he's been ridden a good bit since he turnd two and I feel very safe on him). But we're also planning on doing a good bit or trotting and a little bit of cantering... and I really don't want my friend to get hurt, though to this date she's never gotten injured on any of my horses, just her own...

What should I do?

ETA: also, my mare is used to riding in a hackamore and I've been riding her in a bit lately... and she's not really all that responsive to the bit anymore.

Just explain to her that you don't want her to get hurt so you feel she should ride western.

It's not that simple with this girl... lol. She's like my cousin, almost completely fearless... She has no 'horse sense' and doesn't realize that it could be dangerous for her to ride my girl either english or bareback if she's going to go faster than a walk.

I'm thinking about accidentally 'losing' one of my girth exchangers that are on my english saddle... Lol... or something like that.

I explained a little bit to her a few minutes ago and her response was "Dang, that horse is going to kill me then, lol!" ...

Regardless of feelings being hurt, the answer really is simple..your horse, your decision, and if the decision includes concern over her being hurt, your responsibility, too.

If you keep telling her and she still insists,then tell her you lost your girth or it doesnt fit that horse. Good luck.

It's your horse, so it's your decision. But if she knows how to ride english, I wouldn't throw her into a western saddle. I ride english, and the few times that I've ridden western, I didn't feel secure at all in the saddle. I constantly felt like I was going to fall off.

She's only ridden english a handful of times... She really doesn't 'know' how to ride english any more than I do, and I can't ride english worth a flip. She's grown up riding western, like all of us have out here.

You are right to be concerned. If telling her theres a problem with the tack works for you, then by all means do it. The most important thing is that you don't let her do something on your horse that could get her hurt. The mixture of an inexperienced rider, on an unfamiliar type saddle and a horse that will probably do a little bucking is an accident waiting to happen. The right thing to do is not let her ride in the english saddle, no matter how fearless she is.

Sandy nailed it. You're right for being concerned and your age is just enough older that YOU get it but SHE doesn't. Be straight with her and tell her no. If you live at home...blame it on your parents!!! ( I always tell my kids I'll be the scape goat when their friends aren't listening to reason)

Or just hide the girth...

However you decide to get her bum in a western saddle doesn't really matter at this point. Just make sure she's in one.

Good Luck and be safe on the trail ride, don't push the limits and have FUN!!!

An even more basic question - what are the seat sizes on the saddles here? How big is the 12 year old? A saddle a bit too bit in an arena setting is not that terrible but on trail the correct seat size is very important.

Can you use that angle?