I understand both sides of the story. Sorry for your loss joe. People on here of course will assume anything if not given enough detail. Also, others do judge harshly on here, not because they don't believe it will be all positive for you, but because they just want to make you aware of the bad things that could happen. Why do they do this even though you don't want to hear it? Because they have gone through it themselves or have seen others in real life, or on here like yourself go through this and SOME (not all) have learned the hard way and came out very badly with experiences.
Here, we don't sugar coat anything. But I like to believe the best of things despite all the negatives. So all I can say is keep searching and go for it! When you find him and if the owners let you see him, I know they will definitely tell that you have a special bond with the horse. Even I can tell already through your typing. Good luck!