Unless you are riding someone elses horse, in which case I would consider the owner the in law. xD
They just don't make me as angry as men do.
They won't goose me. (hopefully, although I dunno if a nip in the bum counts as a goose lol).
And I can nuzzle all I want without earning complaints of mushyness, girlyness, and taking up to much car/game/guy time because I want a nuzzle!
Oh and they totally smell better.
And they totally won't complain about what soap I buy.
Think of it not as a failure but as a success in how not to do it.
Don't look in a horses mouth for a gift.