why not to ask how much someone paid - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 02:07 AM Thread Starter
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why not to ask how much someone paid

Is it rude to ask someone how much they paid for their horse?
Just curious as I think maybe it's the wrong thing to do..is it rude or is there more to it?
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post #2 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 02:31 AM
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Not sure if it's rude. I remember when I first got my horse, I was telling my BO's wife about it and it was the first question she asked me. I probably wouldn't lead with it, but I wouldn't call it rude.
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post #3 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 03:05 AM
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One way to ask while still offering them a way to get out of answering is to say "If you don't mind me asking,....". That way sounds more polite instead of just blurting out the question.

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post #4 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 03:07 AM
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I don't think it's rude, per say, but it can make others uncomfortable. I know when my friend asked me how much I paid (am paying) for Aires, it made me distinctly uncomfortable, especially because she went off on how she thinks $1600 is unreasonable for an unbroke 2yo stud colt. I had to explain that the $1600 is really only the rescue costs the guy I'm getting him from put into him with purchasing him from the breeder and transporting him all the way from Manitoba, Canada, to Arizona (was shown an itemized statement of how much it cost to purchase Aires, plus the quarantine/whatever fees for crossing the international border, plus gas costs from Manitoba to Arizona pulling a stock trailer). It doesn't matter how much you paid for the horse. As long as you love the horse and you're a good fit, cost is a minor thing.

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post #5 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 05:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
I don't think it's rude, per say, but it can make others uncomfortable. I know when my friend asked me how much I paid (am paying) for Aires, it made me distinctly uncomfortable, especially because she went off on how she thinks $1600 is unreasonable for an unbroke 2yo stud colt. I had to explain that the $1600 is really only the rescue costs the guy I'm getting him from put into him with purchasing him from the breeder and transporting him all the way from Manitoba, Canada, to Arizona (was shown an itemized statement of how much it cost to purchase Aires, plus the quarantine/whatever fees for crossing the international border, plus gas costs from Manitoba to Arizona pulling a stock trailer). It doesn't matter how much you paid for the horse. As long as you love the horse and you're a good fit, cost is a minor thing.
Asking is not rude, but as you see in this post, these type of follow on comments (e.g. You paid too much) are indeed very rude and place most people in the position of feeling that they have to defend their purchase. We each place our own value on anything we buy and sell, and as long as you are satisfied, that's all that matters.

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post #6 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 06:06 AM
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To many people it is rude, it is like asking how much you earn a year. As smrobs said, if you preface it by saying, "if you don't mind my asking...." it takes the edge off the question but can still make the person uncomfortable or feel that they have to defend the purchase price.

Why would you need to know? If you are considering the purchase of a horse, that may be a legitimate question but, for the most part, I feel uncomfortable telling someone what I paid for a particular horse - I may want to sell her at some point and what I paid should have no bearing on my asking price.

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post #7 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 06:42 AM
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Great post, Bill.

I might not consider it rude, but it is pushy and inappropriate. The person asked is put in the position of revealing something they don't want to or coming up with an answer that it's rude itself: "None of your business", "Why do want to know?", "Just enough" or "I'm not comfortable discussing it."

If you have a legitimate reason to know, I would preface it with that. "I'm looking for a horse right now, and yours is very close to what I want, would you mind telling me what you paid or giving me a general range?"
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post #8 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 07:00 AM
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While I never ask other people (as it's not my business), I don't see it as something offensive if you ask correctly (like "Your horse is gorgeous. I'm thinking about buying one, so you don't mind if I ask you how much you paid for him?").

But I do agree with iride and maura - some people may not like it. I don't mind telling how much I paid for my horse/car/saddle. But I don't like questions about my house/mortgage.

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post #9 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 07:36 AM
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With the horse market always changing, I wouldn't ask someone how much they paid for the horse if they've had it a while. If the horse was a recent purchase, I could easily see it being asked out of curiosity. You just need to assess the situation. If the person seems like they are bragging about their horse, "Hey, look at my new horse." then I would feel okay with asking how much they paid. If I had to ask, "Hey, is that your new horse?" I probably wouldn't. I would ask how's he/she doing instead.

I also agree with adding "if you don't mind me asking." I think it gives the person an option when answering instead of being forced one way or the other.

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post #10 of 47 Old 06-09-2011, 09:03 AM
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I don't think it's rude, especially if the person you're asking has a type of horse that you might be interested in purchasing. It would help you decide if you're getting ripped off or not.
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