Why would someone say that? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Why would someone say that?

My friend who has been riding with me since forever switched to gaited recently. She is leasing/showing the owner of the barn's mare, a TWH that is champagne. (Creamish coloring) Thus she gets dirty very easily. Also, the mare also has a splotch of golden coloring on her back leg that kind of looks like she rolled in...something.


The other day we were riding together when she stopped and says, "*horse's name here* is so pretty!" I smiled, agreed and went on to say, "Yeah, Rainy is too!!!" Her response? "Well, not really." I looked at her, trying to see if she was joking.

She wasn't.

"What?" was all I could say. "Well, she's a bay and bays are boring. I mean, look at all the bays here." (The barn has a lot of bays and browns.) Still thinking she was joking, I said, "Well she's the prettiest **** bay here!" I thought joking back would make her realize that saying my horse wasn't pretty kinda made me feel bad.
"That just means she's not as ugly as all the rest of them." All I could do was trot away. I couldn't believe she said that! Why would someone say that? I feel like I'm ranting, but can someone explain why you would like its okay to insult someones horse like that? Was it wrong to feel so upset by that? When someone insults my horse, I feel like they're insulting me. Even though Rainy's really not mine, (yet) she might be mine soon, and I'm the only person who works with her, so she's kind of like mine. =[
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post #2 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 12:52 PM
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I HATE it when people insult my horse! I feel like I want to like, hit them. So I can understand why you got upset. I woulda smacked her right then and there cause your horse is very pretty. I love bays. There is no bad color for a good horse.
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post #3 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 12:56 PM
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Of course it's ok to take it personally if you care about your horse, which you obviously do. It's a slippery slope if the horse isn't yours, and I've been there before -- not pretty-- but since you work with her so much it's natural to feel that attachment. And you're hoping she WILL be yours.

My horses feel like my children. If someone insults or says anything negative about one of them, even if I agree, it still makes me mad. It's a protective instinct, and it's only human to feel it.

As to why someone would say something like that; well some people unfortunately seem to not have been raised with manners. Sounds like whoever said this probably was one of them.

Rainy's gorgeous; bays are gorgeous, and phooey on her (the insulter). Every horse color is common enough if you look around... here, chestnuts are a dime a dozen but I still think they're pretty too!
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post #4 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by SpiritJordanRivers View Post
There is no bad color for a good horse.
Agreed! Color is the LAST thing that's important about a horse.
Sounds like that girl needs a slap upside the head for lack of manners.

I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it
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post #5 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 01:17 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys. The problem is, this girl is my friend. And it's not the only thing she's done that's insulting when it comes to horses. Yesterday it was raining so all the horses were in. (I'm going to call the horse Lily and the girl Ashley, ok?)
Lily's stall is right next to the crossties Rainy was in. Now, Rainy is the boss of the mare field, which Lily is in. But she's NOT a mean boss. She doesn't chase the others, she nevers hurts them and never has been mean to Lily. In fact, Rainy has been the nicest to Lily, in my opinion. I have NEVER EVER seen Rainy do ANYTHING to her. Well, after tacking up, Rainy and I were headed towards the arena, and to do so we had to go past Lily. Ashley comes over and starts telling me how mean Rainy is to Lily and how I shouldn't let Rainy go past Lily's stall. I remarked that Rainy's never been mean to Lily. Ashley raises her eyebrows like I'm stupid and walks away. And then as I walk Rainy to the arena, who would put her ears back and get angry but Lily!

I'm just wondering, does anyone think she's jealous? On several occasions our instructor has complimented me, and I almost wonder if she's unhappy that I'm getting more compliments. Does that make sense?
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post #6 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 01:22 PM
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yeah kinda sounds to me like she has some jealousy issues going on there
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post #7 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 01:26 PM Thread Starter
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Any advice towards dealing with this?
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post #8 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 01:48 PM
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Next time she makes a snarky remark about your horses color you can choose to be polite and say "there are more important things than a horses color" or you can be a but sharp and remind her that her horse is the one that looks like it rolled in poo....

But on a more serious note, I would confront her about it when she make rude comments towards you. Just ask her if there's a reason she's always putting down on your horse.

In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough. -Will rogers
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post #9 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 02:01 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks. Yeah, thats what I tell myself when she makes me feel bad. 'her horse looks like it rolled in poo.'
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post #10 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 02:35 PM
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I feel insulted right now because I have a bay, and she didn't even say it to me, lol. I think my bay is beautiful, and I wouldn't trade him for the world! I also feel insulted if anyone insults my horses. They can't stand up for themselves, so I feel like I have to. My boyfriend thinks I'm ridiculous, when I get upset if he jokingly says that Harmony or Jack aren't pretty.

Also, girls are incredibly jealous! They can be absolutely mean, and usually for no real reason. Next time she's being mean I would just ask her why she has to be that way? Most likely she won't have an answer, and maybe she'll stop.
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