Winter Blues. - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 03:33 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Germany- but not German =D
Posts: 5,151
• Horses: 2
Winter Blues.

This is a semi rant, and a lack of self belief.

everything is going to the dogs, quite literally.

I live in Germany with my parents, my dad was in the military and now works for them as a civilian. This camp is closing, and we have no idea where we're going next. I have no idea how long my job is here for. No job, no Duffy.

Rufus, my english setter, was really really ill weekend before last, throwing up blood all over the place. That bill, his castration bill and his blinking teeth clean came in at a total of 454... thats going to wait till next month. Someone asked after him and I said yeah, he's fine now he's cost me a small fortune and the person just rounded on me and said if I can't afford to give my animal what he requires I shouldn't have him, and that I am cruel.. pointed out he had the treatment he recieved, and the bill will be paid. Still upsetting someone said that, as I have never denied my animals anything they require, I work extra hours, another part time job and babysit at every opportunity to save for everything I need.

Now Duffy... has been a nightmare under saddle. She nearly wiped out my trainer's other half over the weekend, scraped past him. We were no where near him, my outside leg was on, and she jumped over towards him, even though I believe there was no reason for this as she's extremely loving towards him.
Saturday my lesson was cancelled as my trainer was ill, but I really really needed her help.. you know when you just feel like you're going no where? And things you've been doing for ages don't even work.

Sunday was horrific. I rode her, and we just fought, in the end I got off in tears and put her in her box, because I couldn't even bare to look at her she upset me that much, she did the whole thing with her ears forward, running off, bucking when I ask for canter, pulling her head down. Teeth were checked three weeks ago, saddle was reflocked and fitted a couple of weeks ago, so thats all that ruled out. Maybe its just the winter weather.

I was too embarrassed to tell my trainer about Sunday on Monday as there were a load of people around, so I left it. She knows, I think someone told her, and she came in and beasted me for free last night, oh the joys, and had a firm word and said if I stress out, why bother riding basically, and that she thinks I'm asking too much of Duffy.. She is over hard, but she's brilliant, and the harder she is on me, the harder I try. But she then got me to get Duffy going forwards forwards forwards on a longer rein.. which goes against everything she's been teaching me, so need to speak to her tonight so we're singing off the same hymn sheet.

Then, to make it better, picked the sand out of Duffy's feet, was leading her to her stable block and she lifted her head, and I had reins and a bit in my hand.. no horse. Brand new Kieffer bridle, only 4 months old, both cheek pieces broken. If she had stood on it, I could understand, but she just gave a jerk of her head.

So no bridle, going to try and fit my dad's old one to her tonight.

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post #2 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 08:54 AM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: nj
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cheer up :) i had a similiar thing happen a few months ago with my twh cross... just relax its mostly stress adding to more stress. chin up and look for positives

lots of hugs duffy
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post #3 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 09:46 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Germany- but not German =D
Posts: 5,151
• Horses: 2
Thanks kait18... Normally I'm a glass half full kinda girl, but nothing is certain and the silver linings are tiny.

I love my Duffy to pieces, but sometimes it feels like I should have bought a horse trained because I feel like I'm in quicksand!
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post #4 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 09:58 AM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: nj
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take your time. things get rough for everyone. just when you go to her really focus on something simple she can do easily for instance if she is at level 5 of her training take her back to 3 and do something easy. it will help regain a little of the frustration you are having and will help her regain focus of knowing what to do.

and i am absolutely opposite i look at things half empty lol :)
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post #5 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 09:59 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Lamont, AB
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honestly I don't know why but some times when one thing goes bad everything does. To tell some that they shouldn't stress out in my eyes isn't right, lets focus on what went right even if it was tiny. I don't know the context it was said in but, it seams to have up set you more. EVERY person has a different stress braking point. do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. You are human, you have feelings too.

Try not being too hard on yourself.

**HUGS** you need one.
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post #6 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 10:08 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13,224
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Deep breaths, and relax.....

Hope your Rufus is all recovered now, that must of been scary! Don't stress out about someone saying that you shouldn't have him if you can't afford him, you are doing the right thing, and you aren't the only person in the world who sometimes has to pay their vet bill off in installments, as long as it's paid and the clinic knows you are paying, and you've made arrangements well that's life.

As to Duffy, sometimes you go through these battles, it feels like you have hit a brick wall, and then you break through. I'm concerned why your trainer is telling you if you stress out, why bother riding, sounds a bit harsh.

More deep breaths, right, about the job situation, you don't know what is going to happen, can you change where you are going next? No you can't, and if you can't change it don't stress about it, because it's pointless. If you know that there is a move coming up, and you may have to change jobs, then the smart thing to do is to get your C.V up to date and start thinking about ways to make yourself more employable in a new area.

More deep breaths, back to Duffy....via my horses....

I love Fancy, she is an awesome little horse, but I felt a huge relief when I decided that she will be an awesome little horse for someone else, I just don't enjoy doing things with her.

I love Bert, she is a big, bolshy rat bag of a mare, but I can push through and work with her, because ultimately I enjoy it.

There is the difference, there is no shame is deciding that as much as you love a horse you are not the right fit, and you can't see a time when you will be a right fit. If that's the case, find Duffy a new person and find yourself a new horse.

If you are sure in your mind that you're a right fit, then work through things a step at a time, relax, enjoy, and ride through it.
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post #7 of 7 Old 11-16-2011, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Germany- but not German =D
Posts: 5,151
• Horses: 2
He is now thankfully recovered. Back to his bouncing, goofy self! It was hurtful that someone says that. I'm 20yo, I'm not a grown grown up, but I know I have responsobilities. He's the family dog, but mine financially and training wise... 3yo rescue obsessed with rabbits and bread. Great! The vets are lovely, I phoned them up and said really sorry, just forked out a bill for you for my horse, any chance I can pay that next month.. yeah no problems! Sorted. Christmas+bills= little presents.

Sorry, I didn't explain myself properly, she only meant as in that day, not at all. She meant don't ride today if you feel stressed, just leave her. But then i still have to do something as otherwise she gets a bit on the fresh side.

If I lay it out, maybe I have been asking too much of her, and we need to have an easier week, chill out and then focus on the main things one by one.. she has learnt a lot, but its frustrating when she knows it, and it doesn't work!

CV is up to date, I'm getting myself on as many freebie courses with work as I can so I am better on the table, and already. We just have no clue as to where we're moving next, if we're staying in Germany its not so much of a problem, if we have to go back to the UK, Duffy will have to be sold :(

We are definetly the right fit. I sold my old man as a happy hacker to a friend who wanted to learn, and they're going great guns. For three months I tried everything under the sun, was miserable because I didn't know what to do with myself. Said Duffy was the last one I was trying out, and then I'd save more money and look in a couple of months. Good job the pics of her were rubbish or I wouldn't have gone to see her and fallen in love. As soon as I got on her it just clicked.

I do stress easily, and I cry a lot because of it, and self pity.. but sometimes I need guys like you to put me back on my feet and realise its not that bad, just breathe

thanks guys

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