The wrong horse for me?
   

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The wrong horse for me?

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  • I feel discouraged from riding horses
  • I'm afraid that I be up the wrong horse

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    12-06-2011, 09:55 AM
  #1
Weanling
The wrong horse for me?

I have a 4 year old Oldenburg (almost 5 now) colt. I did his ground training, he was started by my trainer, and we're in a lesson program (dressage) now. I've been riding him a little over a year. He is very sweet and has never misbehaved. The problem I'm having is that I don't trust him, I think because of his age, and I can never really relax when I'm riding. As a result, I get tense, then things fall apart, then I get upset and frustrated and it's all downhill from there. Another problem is his large stride - I never feel in control. I signed up for a schooling show that is now coming up which I totally regret doing and would like to back out of. I guess I'm afraid that we'll do poorly and I'll embarrass myself. So now I'm wondering if I should find another horse that I can be confident with or if I'm just being a big baby, putting too much pressure on myself, and need to give it more time. On one hand it would be stupid to give up such a good horse, on the other hand what's the point of continuing with a horse a can't form a partnership with? We do have some good rides, so it's not all bad. I perfectly fine with my other horse, but she can't do too much b/c of age. Maybe I'm just feeling discouraged?
     
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    12-06-2011, 10:10 AM
  #2
Started
Don't feel discouraged! Has he ever done anything to make you lose your trust in him? He is young and you have trained him with help. You have seen him at his best and worst.

Take a deep breath and step back and instead of putting pressure on the both of you maybe just relax and do some fun things together. Maybe get out of the arena if he listens and take him for a short hack even with some friends. All I am trying to say is give it time and give yourself less pressure. It might be all the magic you need to feel comfortable with him.

Goodluck and cheer up :)
     
    12-06-2011, 10:52 AM
  #3
Weanling
No, he's never done anything wrong. He's spooked pretty big a couple of times, which all horses do, and I came off once. We've been on several outings, he's always good. I think I just have a really bad habit of focusing on the negative and a general lack of confidence. I think I will just set my goals really low for the show - move forward, don't come off, remember the test - not worry about the scores at all and maybe then I can relax.
     
    12-06-2011, 10:59 AM
  #4
Trained
Step back and take a few deep breaths..

Now you say this boy has never done anything so you may need to forget he is young, apart from what you ask of him, but young doesn't always equal untrustworthy.

Now this
Quote:
I signed up for a schooling show that is now coming up which I totally regret doing and would like to back out of. I guess I'm afraid that we'll do poorly and I'll embarrass myself.
Really makes me wonder, if this is your first show you simply shouldn't be able to embarrass yourself, because your only goal should be to take your boy along and make sure he has an enjoyable day.

A couple of months back I took my big rehab mare out to her first ever show, I ended up entering two walk trot on the rail tests, because I didn't trust her to do a full intro level test. She got two pink ribbons, seems like they actually like you to walk in a walk trot test, OH well it will come. I was just delighted to get her in the ring, we stayed in the ring, and the trot portions of the test were good. She had a great experience and I will expect more from her next time, but a first schooling show, nope you can't embarrass yourself
     
    12-06-2011, 11:02 AM
  #5
Started
I know what you mean I am the type to look at things like "glass half empty" instead of "glass half full" :)

Little is good. Start off slow and build on that. Go in not to win points but to stay in saddle and have good transitions:) that's all I could hope for and I still would look like a fool :)
Remember stay positive I know its hard but even the slight positive attitude will help alot :) goodluck
     
    12-06-2011, 11:19 AM
  #6
Showing
Don't feel discouraged. "Choose your attitude at the door." Sometimes it's hard to do but when you can it most certainly helps. If you go in expecting something to go wrong and the worst to happen, it probably will. If you go in with no expectations and just look to have a good ride and get some experience, you will be much better off. Fake it 'til you make it with positivity so he doesn't feed off of your nerves.

As far as the show goes, go and do it just for fun. Don't worry about ribbons or doing well. Just remember that each little step forward gets you farther down the road to where you want to get with him. First trips out don't always go according to plan, I never expect much with my youngsters the first few times, it's more about taking it all in for them and as long as they handle themselves fairly well I consider it a success. Most of the time, they deserve more credit than we give them and he may just surprise you!
kait18 likes this.
     
    12-06-2011, 11:37 AM
  #7
Showing
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy410    
I have a 4 year old Oldenburg (almost 5 now) colt. I did his ground training, he was started by my trainer, and we're in a lesson program (dressage) now. I've been riding him a little over a year. He is very sweet and has never misbehaved. The problem I'm having is that I don't trust him, I think because of his age, and I can never really relax when I'm riding. As a result, I get tense, then things fall apart, then I get upset and frustrated and it's all downhill from there. Another problem is his large stride - I never feel in control. I signed up for a schooling show that is now coming up which I totally regret doing and would like to back out of. I guess I'm afraid that we'll do poorly and I'll embarrass myself. So now I'm wondering if I should find another horse that I can be confident with or if I'm just being a big baby, putting too much pressure on myself, and need to give it more time. On one hand it would be stupid to give up such a good horse, on the other hand what's the point of continuing with a horse a can't form a partnership with? We do have some good rides, so it's not all bad. I perfectly fine with my other horse, but she can't do too much b/c of age. Maybe I'm just feeling discouraged?
I am going to tell you missy, that I was in the same boat with my horse when we first met! Ginormous strides... I came off of him, I kept thinking he was going to do something, etc.

You're boogering yourself out, and then your horse is feeling like he can't trust you either. Those big strides will get easier as you learn to keep your seat on him and follow his movement. I know you can do it, I did!

Don't feel embarassed.. you shouldn't care what others think. Even at a horse show! You are there, as Golden said, to be with your horse, to get him experiencing something new and different, and to show off! It sounds like you need to give yourself some slack.. a mile of slack! You're doing great! Your horse is doing great! I hope your instructor/trainer has the same positive comment/attitude I am sharing with you!


Quote:
Originally Posted by kait18    
don't feel discouraged! Has he ever done anything to make you lose your trust in him? He is young and you have trained him with help. You have seen him at his best and worst.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy410    
No, he's never done anything wrong. He's spooked pretty big a couple of times, which all horses do, and I came off once. We've been on several outings, he's always good. I think I just have a really bad habit of focusing on the negative and a general lack of confidence. I think I will just set my goals really low for the show - move forward, don't come off, remember the test - not worry about the scores at all and maybe then I can relax.
Breathe... I think you are wise to not trust completely but you need to give him some credit. Don't dwell on those bad rides.. those rides teach us all something and they make the next ride look like a slice of heaven!

I think that's a good idea, but you're doing it again! Don't say or THINK negative things like that. "I will set my goals really low" instead think "We can do this! And if we get great scores, that's a plus!" You see what I'm saying? Every goal you have is Sky high, and you need to start treating them a little more positively and even more enthusiastically.

Don't worry :)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden Horse    
Step back and take a few deep breaths..

Now you say this boy has never done anything so you may need to forget he is young, apart from what you ask of him, but young doesn't always equal untrustworthy.

Now this

Really makes me wonder, if this is your first show you simply shouldn't be able to embarrass yourself, because your only goal should be to take your boy along and make sure he has an enjoyable day.

A couple of months back I took my big rehab mare out to her first ever show, I ended up entering two walk trot on the rail tests, because I didn't trust her to do a full intro level test. She got two pink ribbons, seems like they actually like you to walk in a walk trot test, OH well it will come. I was just delighted to get her in the ring, we stayed in the ring, and the trot portions of the test were good. She had a great experience and I will expect more from her next time, but a first schooling show, nope you can't embarrass yourself
Golden is so right :) The first show is all about having fun, experiencing it, introducing your horse to it, maybe even being silly during warmup like "free walking" the entire time ;) But the most important aspect is you and your horse have fun, you get it done, and you find a way to end it on a good note!

Another example, I took two girls and 3 horses to a show with the barn owner and her hubbie. They were so scared for their show and I saw the result in their horses. So we all just pretended we were playing simon says during the show (I entered a green mare just to get her used to the experience and to keep the girls company) and when the judge said walk, we walked and smiled and when he said trot, we trotted on the correct diagonal, relaxed, and everything.. We had a blast. The horses calmed down and they listened well as soon as we settled down and we got our ribbons! Now the more shows you do, you can start building bigger goals and accomplishing them too.

Just remember to breathe and have fun :) And not care what others think. This is you and your horse's day!
Golden Horse and kait18 like this.
     
    12-06-2011, 11:46 AM
  #8
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel    

Just remember to breathe and have fun :) And not care what others think. This is you and your horse's day!
That perfectly sums up the way to approach a first show with any new horse, or any young horse
kait18 likes this.
     
    12-06-2011, 12:33 PM
  #9
mls
Trained
I think there are two issues going on here -

First - How long have you been riding your other horse? We all get comfortable on a particular horse. The horse can do anything under the sun and we shrug it off. Your colt is 'new' and you aren't sure what to expect. One day it WILL click and it will be incredible.

Second - He is your pride and joy. You started him and you have a need to say "see, I can do this". Whether it be to yourself or someone else. He's young, he'll make mistakes. But you don't want perfection out of the box, then you would have no where to go!

As the others have said, relax and have fun.
     
    12-06-2011, 05:36 PM
  #10
Foal
Trust your horse. Get a better connection, before even thinking about doing a show.
My horse is 3, just broke, and I trust him enough to relax when i'm riding because I know we have that connection.
     

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