You can't FORCE your kids to be something they don't want to be

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You can't FORCE your kids to be something they don't want to be

This is a discussion on You can't FORCE your kids to be something they don't want to be within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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    04-01-2012, 11:38 PM
Green Broke
You can't FORCE your kids to be something they don't want to be

The title says it all. My recent show with Cinny went ok. We did improve on our Intro scores but over all, he just didn't do well. It isn't that he CAN'T because there are days he is beautiful in his movements and obedience. There are days that my trainer has said "wow, where did THAT horse come from and what did you do with Cinny?" But when it comes down to it, Cinny hates Dressage with every cell in his body.

After the show I transferred the videos of him to my pc with every intention of putting them on YouTube and posting them. I watched them first. That was the moment, right then and there that I realized how much he truly hates the discipline I have been riding him. His body language in the videos just says it all, even the test that I thought was the best ride we ever had. Therefore, to avoid all of the remarks I am sure to come, and that I already know... I am not posting them.

Our little adventure into Dressage started because he was a green reclaim, a pasture pet, an unbalanced blob with legs. Dressage was chosen to help him learn to USE his body correctly, to find balance. We have achieved that. And now I have fallen in love with dressage and my horse has fallen into hate with it. I am at a crossroads with my beloved Heart Horse. And after talking to my husband, a decision has been made.

Cinny is OFFICIALLY retired from Dressage. He is currently on vacation and will enjoy being loved on, played with and taken on trails. He has a need for speed so I am thinking of introducing him to the things he was originally bred for...somewhat... barrels, keyhole, gymkhana and play day sorts of games and fun. It won't matter if he grits his teeth, tosses his head, or begs me to let him go his fastest. And, my daughter thinks it may be fun for her as well.

Mind you, we have NOT given up on Cinny. We are NOT selling Cinny. He is family. We are doing our best to make HIM happy and enjoy his life. When we move to KC he is coming with us. But we do have a new plan. He will take up residence in the stall as originally planned, but only until we find a new member of our family. And then, he will be going to pasture board at the same facility.... again, something I believe he would prefer. This will insure that we have the hard to get stall at the new facility for somthing else....

Yes, I have received approval to find a more Dressage oriented horse so NO I don't have to give up on Dressage either. My husband and I do have different opinions on this new Dressage horse. I am thinking 16 or 17 hands, big movement about 10 or 12 years old and working and enjoying dressage currently at lower levels which will enable me to concentrate on ME. Price is a factor and I know the possibility of getting my "dream horse" is highly unlikely (A Friesian cross or warmblood with leopard appy coloring). My hubby wants a Percheron, Friesian or OTTB that is BIG and closer to the age of 5. I don't think he understands that at that age they would barely have begun to taste dressage let alone decide if they are happy in that occupation.

I'm sure we will work it out in the end. I want my purchase or adoption, whichever the case may be, to first be based on the horse's inclination and like of dressage, and the ability to forgive a green rider and help them learn. Under age 15, then height....and lastly color/sex. We are taking our time, there is no rush. If I want to rush, I'll just hop on Cinny's back and go for a run :)
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    04-01-2012, 11:52 PM
Cinny is a very lucky horse to have an owner who loves him so much.
    04-01-2012, 11:57 PM
You know what girl, that post right there is exactly what a loving, responsible, and amazing horse parent would do. It takes a lot of intelligence and guts to know when a horse just doesn't like a certain discipline.

Cinny is lucky to have you and I'm sure that you will be able to find some discipline that he will love and truly enjoy.
BooBear likes this.
    04-02-2012, 12:23 AM

Sounds like you're making a good decision for Cinny and you. Hope you find the perfect horse when you're horse shopping!
    04-02-2012, 12:27 AM
Cinny is very lucky to have a great owner like you!
    04-02-2012, 12:39 AM
Green Broke
Good for you, and you'll both be happier. It's so much more fun when you both are enjoying what you are doing. :)
Back2Horseback likes this.
    04-02-2012, 03:21 AM
Super Moderator
I am always glad to read and hear such stories. It is wonderful that there are horses with such wonderful owners that think of their horses and their needs firsthand! Cinny is one lucky boy!
    04-02-2012, 03:51 AM
This is how I feel about Selena and Reining. Reining was great for her, she knows how to use her body now and will forever be calm and collected when she goes into any event, but in her heart she wants to run and play and be a gaming horse.

Cinny is so lucky to have you. Thank you for being who you are to you beautiful boy :)
    04-02-2012, 08:55 AM
You and Cinny are fortunate to be in a position where you can both keep him and purchase a dressage partner. I am happy for you both! :)-
Does your husband ride as well? Does he ride dressage? If not then hopefully he will understand that while you both can agree on a budget for the new horse, you are the one riding it, so you need what is best for you. I agree that your description of a 10-12 yr old already trained in dressage would be a great choice for now, as you are relatively new to the discipline. Then, like you said, you can focus on your riding, not on training the horse at this point.-
Of course, you should also begin putting money away now for that fresian in the next decade.... :)
    04-02-2012, 09:28 AM
Amazing what videos reveal, not only about the horse but our level of skill. Cinny might just need some time off from arena work. I read of a top cutting horse that was beginning to lag. Her owner took her home and put her out to pasture for three months. This was just before the Finals after a busy year of competitions. He hauled her to the finals and she was brilliant and took top horse of the year.

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