My trainer is so mean! I'm scared to be in the arena with her! - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:03 AM Thread Starter
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My trainer is so mean! I'm scared to be in the arena with her!

She insults me, she insults my horse, parents, she says "you're not a good rider, so you should stop wasting my time." I understand that my position is bad and stuff, but when I first started with her, I told her "In the lessons I took with my previous instructor she usually had me do courses around 2'3" or lower." Then she stuck me in a group with four other people and made me jump a gymnastic (with three jumps going down a hill, something I have no experience doing) that was I don't know maybe 3'5". I really don't know, but it was maybe quadruple the size I've ever done. Again, she told me that I'm a horrible rider and to stop wasting her time. I was on a thb x arabian. At the end of almost each lessons she always screams at me and my parents. After a year or so when I gotten better, someone was selling a horse and I was in love with her. We tried her out and she was really good. So, I told my instructor and she told me parents if we buy the horse "we need to get off her property or she will throw us off." Later on, I bought a 15hh qh which she hated. She told me things like "this isn't a horse, she has no chance of getting over 18" and is a waste of time. She's horrible, don't buy her." I loved her though, so my parents bought her. I'm scared of her and I know she wants to help me, but none of us really like her. No one at my barn does and she's lost alot of clients. She won't let you ride with a different instructor. A girl had only ONE lesson with her and then her mom (her coach) started giving her lessons and my instructor told her to get off her horse and leave. Then, they just left. I know, alot to read, but please!? Any advice or tips would be great!!!!! :)
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post #2 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:10 AM
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My advice is: find a new trainer

Why are you paying someone to abuse you? I'm not seeing why you are not sure about what to do.
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post #3 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:12 AM
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Woah.... get a new trainer now.

No trainer can make you do anything. She can intimidate you to do something but she has no power to throw you out unless she actually owns the place. And if she does, then you need to find another place.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #4 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:15 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DancingArabian View Post
My advice is: find a new trainer

Why are you paying someone to abuse you? I'm not seeing why you are not sure about what to do.
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She is the closet in my area and the cheapest. My parents usually pay for the board, lessons, etc and drive me there and back. I wish we could...
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post #5 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:16 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel View Post
Woah.... get a new trainer now.

No trainer can make you do anything. She can intimidate you to do something but she has no power to throw you out unless she actually owns the place. And if she does, then you need to find another place.
She does own the place. :( And she is the cheapest and closet to me.
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post #6 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:21 AM
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There's nothing we can say. She sounds unprofessional and abusive. Nothing we can say or do will make that better or different than what it is. Talk to your parents. If they can't afford the cost of another trainer see if you can work it off at another barn.
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post #7 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:48 AM
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I think at this point you'd be better off going without a trainer, if this one is your only option.
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post #8 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 12:49 AM
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Is that the only trainer at the barn? My barn had a bunch of instructors and trainers. But that's because it's pretty big. I would suggest maybe try talking to her about how you feel, get a new trainer, or switch barns. She shouldn't treat you like this and don't be afraid to speak up. You have rights too!!
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post #9 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 01:01 AM
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you get what you pay for. And close and cheap is getting you, your horse, and your family insulted. I don't care who or how much I pay someone to train, nobody would insult my child, period!
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post #10 of 54 Old 07-08-2013, 01:01 AM
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Just because this is the only one close by doesn't mean it really is the only one close by. There are lots of super small, private barns, that do not advertise that they offer boarding. If I were you, I'd start asking around for places like this. Also, not all trainers are based out of a big stable. Many trainers travel from barn to barn, teaching lessons. Many times, these trainers are just as qualified, if not more successful than big barn trainers. I think it's time to start looking around.

Strength is not defined by physical ability. It is determined by your actions and the compassion of your soul.
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