My trainer is so mean! I'm scared to be in the arena with her! - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 54 Old 07-20-2013, 09:18 PM
Join Date: May 2012
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I just read the first post and I had a similar but not as intense riding instructor. At sixteen she told me "if you ever want a career in horses you need to get serious about your riding and ride more often". This I relayed to my parents. They immediately stopped lessons. I was sixteen riding three days a week, cleaning stalls at the barn and going to a rather intense high school, plus applying to college. My parents had seen a lot of 4H kids who "just want to ride horses for a living" end up burned out, unemployed and stunted. In my family, if you want a career in horses go to vet school, don't think you can be a professional rider or make a living in horses. I can see where my folks are coming from. Honestly, it was a good decision, I worked as a wrangler for a few years and horse are tough business, one that for me is best left as a hobby.

My advice is stop lessons and change barns. Its not worth it.
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post #32 of 54 Old 07-21-2013, 11:56 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
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i'm new to this, but get rid of her, my horse trainer beat up my horses.
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post #33 of 54 Old 07-22-2013, 02:16 AM
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It depends on the person you are, I'd prefer that over someone who is just nice and doesn't tell me what I am doing wrong.

However as it doesn't work for you, and you are paying her for this service, then ditch her.
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post #34 of 54 Old 07-22-2013, 09:36 AM
Join Date: Jul 2013
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I think that an instructor should be a little tough sometimes and they definitely shouldn't baby you, but that is completely ridiculous.
I went to a barn for ten years and did everything for my trainer. I couldn't afford lessons, so I ended up working for what the lessons were "worth". In the summer (since I'm only a teenager and didn't need a job two years ago) I'd show up at the barn four days a week, clean 4 paddocks in two hours, clean all the water troughs and refill them, clean the stalls, clean the ring (because she kept one of the horses in the ring when it wasn't being used), trim the bushes that were overhanging into the ring, dust the barn, throw the hay down, help the new kids with tacking up and cleaning, clean all the horses (including the sensitive, spooky one that took 45 minutes to catch from the paddock. I swear, the horse came to us naturally sensitive and sweet, and that woman soured him so that he had to be sent back) and then I'd go over to the other barn she was in charge of and do it all over again. I went over to the barn three times a day one week to take a sick horse's temperature while she was away. Does that sound like it covers $60 an hour?
The only time I got to have quality lessons in which I learned something was when I rode with one of her rich summer clients, a nice but clueless girl that would take up 15 minutes of the hour that I worked so hard for that came around once a week by putting on her half chaps backwards -.-
It was infuriating to me, because this rich girl could just buy more lesson time. I couldn't and there she was giggling at herself as she took another 10 minutes to try and figure out how to put on her own equipment. On the times that I didn't ride with her, the "lessons" were short and basically consisted of me trotting around the ring, occasionally switching direction out of boredom while my trainer did stuff on her phone, almost completely ignoring me. I was essentially just exercising the lesson ponies.
I left that barn after my friend and I, who again she's known and trusted for ten years screwed up once in our entire time there. My friend sat on the bombproof, 22 year old push-button lesson pony with no tack and helmet while I cleaned the paddock. We were just talking, the pony was standing in the shade, completely uncaring and my trainer's mom pulled in (she lives on the property), saw us, and my trainer called me and screamed for about 6 minutes. I was called a dumbass, an idiot, stupid, who did I think I was, what did I think I was doing, she's going away for a few months and already I've screwed up, yadda yadda yadda. Then she called my mother and told her that me and my friend skipped school to go ride the horses bareback. The way she described it made it sound like we took the whole herd out for a gallop with no tack or helmets into the road. Needless to say, it completely shattered my self confidence. I went to school the next day having severe anxiety attacks, I threw up once, and I cried for 6 hours straight all because this woman who I trusted and respected had belittled me in a way that I'd never even experienced. I went back to that barn once to get my stuff and say goodbye to the horse that I'd had an attatchment with and never saw it again. The experience also destroyed my confidence as a rider, now when I occasionally ride, I know I'm horrible. The worst part is, I was only 13... What 13 year old doesn't make mistakes? When my mom found out how this woman had screamed at me (which she failed to tell my mother when she called her), she was very angry and told her that her response was inappropriate. Nobody was even close to hurt, the situation frankly wasn't that dangerous. So I'm surprised that your parents just sit back and take that...
Lol so the point of this huge long story is, get away from the things that are bad for you. I got away from my trainer and now am worlds happier. There's no way you're going to improve as a rider and as a person with a trainer like that screaming horrible things into your ear. Don't believe any of it.
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post #35 of 54 Old 07-22-2013, 10:17 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Eastern Ontario
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Originally Posted by LoveIsTheAnswer View Post
She insults me, she insults my horse, parents, she says "you're not a good rider, so you should stop wasting my time." I understand that my position is bad and stuff, but when I first started with her, I told her "In the lessons I took with my previous instructor she usually had me do courses around 2'3" or lower." Then she stuck me in a group with four other people and made me jump a gymnastic (with three jumps going down a hill, something I have no experience doing) that was I don't know maybe 3'5". I really don't know, but it was maybe quadruple the size I've ever done. Again, she told me that I'm a horrible rider and to stop wasting her time. I was on a thb x arabian. At the end of almost each lessons she always screams at me and my parents. After a year or so when I gotten better, someone was selling a horse and I was in love with her. We tried her out and she was really good. So, I told my instructor and she told me parents if we buy the horse "we need to get off her property or she will throw us off." Later on, I bought a 15hh qh which she hated. She told me things like "this isn't a horse, she has no chance of getting over 18" and is a waste of time. She's horrible, don't buy her." I loved her though, so my parents bought her. I'm scared of her and I know she wants to help me, but none of us really like her. No one at my barn does and she's lost alot of clients. She won't let you ride with a different instructor. A girl had only ONE lesson with her and then her mom (her coach) started giving her lessons and my instructor told her to get off her horse and leave. Then, they just left. I know, alot to read, but please!? Any advice or tips would be great!!!!! :)
This is not a coach. She is not there to help you learn or succeed, she is not there because she enjoys it, she's there for the money, and that's it. She's rude and abusive and in my opinion has no right to be teaching lessons if she really does say the things you said. I would be paying the extra money to take your horse to a different barn, because this awful 'human being' is not worth what you're paying.

Thank you for feeding us years of lies. Thank you for the wars you left us to fight. Thank you for the world you ruined overnight. But we'll be fine, yeah we'll be fine.
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post #36 of 54 Old 07-23-2013, 06:18 PM
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Vacaville, CA
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Get as far away from this horrible person as you can.

My students seem to really like me. I have one student who sponsors one of my horses. I keep lessons fun and we mix things up. They are always learning something new. If we are working on something and they feel they did not do it to the best of their ability, they insist on doing it again. Even if it was fine, they do it again and I coach them through what they need help on. I don't ever yell at them or the horses. At the end of evey lesson they walk away saying how much fun they had, how much they have learned and can't wait for their next lesson.
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post #37 of 54 Old 07-23-2013, 06:35 PM
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^ As You Wish, too bad I can't take lessons from you! lol
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post #38 of 54 Old 07-23-2013, 07:38 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cariboo, British Columbia
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It takes special skills to impart knowledge to students in a manner which is helpful, stern and respectful. This "trainer" doesn't have those skills, I don't care how good she is, she is not a teacher.
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post #39 of 54 Old 07-24-2013, 04:24 AM
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,266
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I get criticism and someone not being babied. The first time someone told me I was wasting their time, though, I'd quit. That is not constructive criticism and I fail to see how it benefits a rider. My money and I would go elsewhere.
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post #40 of 54 Old 07-24-2013, 10:24 PM
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
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Have ya'll noticed the OP has not returned?
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