Honey, I think you need to move on. I know of a trainer that is also a kinder, milder version of what you mentioned and I pulled my daughter out. The way I looked it was this: am I training her to be a world class equestrian - if yes, I need to be willing to move to another trainer in another state or another country even to get my daughter the proper positive training she needs. If no, (and I'm not training her to be a world class equestrian), I needed to get clear in my head what the horses are for. I spend a fortune on horses for myself, too, but mostly for her and I'll tell you why. To keep her mentally healthy, teach her leadership, self-discipline, a sense of mastery, self-esteem, compassion, responsibility and confidence. To keep her away from boys and drugs, too. If that trainer does not teach her those things, or worse, tears her down, then that trainer is damaging my real investment - my child, her education, her future career, her ability to interact with other people, etc. I don't care if that trainer is George Morris and you're getting your lessons for free and all you have to do is roll out of bed in the morning and you're at the barn. You need to move on.