Riding Instructors and Yelling/Insults? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 89 Old 02-15-2013, 04:00 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
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A coach is different from a teacher, but I see NO reason to be so unsocial. If you tt people who have had a clinic with George Morris, he sets the bar very high, and doesn't accept excuses, but he doesn't dress people down. IMHO he is an AWESOME coach.
Nadia Komanic (sp?), of the "Perfect 10" Olympic Gymnastic score, came to the US to coach, and found softies, everywhere. But, she didn't scream at the people she was coaching.
Coaches don't do ANYBODY any favors being nice. The coaches of "The Fighting Illini" football team are always telling the press how great the players are, and then, they put in a losing season, constantly dropping the ball. Poor coaching. Nick Saban, on the other end of the spectrum, has great expectations and he will criticize his team at 1/2-time, even when they are winning the game. But he doesn't treat his players like crap. He does get results.
Who is this coach, she she is better than the people I just mentioned?

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post #22 of 89 Old 02-15-2013, 05:53 PM
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Oh gosh. There is a instructor in town who has made grown men cry from yelling at them, and they dont even want her help. One trainer I had threaten to hit me with whips, called me stupid, made me cry, and once my horse wasnt troting fast enough for halter so she got on her tractor and CHASED us around the arena to make her move fast. My parents just stood and watched at everything, and I had no choice. I hated it.
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post #23 of 89 Old 02-15-2013, 06:38 PM
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Instructors that I take lessons from & pay them money, yell at me?! Um no, that is just rude and I would prolly get off the horse and bust 'em in the chops, my instructors thus far have been adept at getting instruction across without yelling, etc. HOWEVER,,,,when I was younger & learning to train horses, the trainer I was working for yelled & swore at me, but HE was paying ME to ride. And another trainer I was riding for would sometimes yell at me, not much, but she did, and again SHE was paying Me.
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post #24 of 89 Old 02-15-2013, 07:23 PM
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Some people just have a mouth to match their ego.
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post #25 of 89 Old 02-15-2013, 07:54 PM
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I've never had this happen before.

While I agree with Corporal, yelling and being tough (american-football players for example) always come out stronger.

However I happen to be one of the 'sensitive-flowers'. I kinda mind yelling. If your going to yell, yell at me for something its worth. But if anyone cusses, calls me pitiful names, and threatens me, no way am I going to pay for anything.

If they feel they need to yell they better be darn well realistic.
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post #26 of 89 Old 02-15-2013, 10:21 PM
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I had a trainer who yelled at me for everything. I asked too many questions. I didn't ask enough questions. My horse was passive agressive (actually he was just asleep). I don't care enough. I care too much. On and on and on. After awhile, it just became a joke. I got in the car to go home and my mom would try to guess what my trainer had yelled at me.

I could handle the yelling because, whether i like to admit it or not, this lady knew what she was talking about, she just didn't know how to communicate it correctly. The worst was when she would ask me a question (to which I had no idea what the answer was) and then she would laugh at what I said. Sure, the answer might not be right, but teach me- don't laugh at me. That really destroyed my confidence.

The breaking point was when I was at my first novice event. We had walked the course and there was a tricky combintion in the woods. When I rode the course, I had a stop at that combination. When I got off course, I was yelled at, in front of everyone, because I didin't ride the same line we walked. First of all, the line we walked was ridiculous, and second- she couldn't even see it- it was in the woods! So the whole way back to the trailer I'm getting yelled at about how "that was NOT novice riding" and how I don't deserve to compete if I can't show that I really want it (she's doing this as we pass my old trainers and people I knew...). And then, when we finally got back to the trailers, she laughs and says in a loud voice, "Don't be so hard on yourself, everyone screws up. You can't expect your horse to do all of the work for you. I'm sure everyone around here agrees with me" and all of the other people from other trailers had to pitch in. This was the last straw. I started taking lessons at another barn 1 month later and moved my horse 3 months later. (Also, I ended up getting second place after she told me that I didn't deserve to compete)

I have so many stories about how awful this lady was, but in the end, she taught me how to be a rider not a passenger. So, I guess you can say that trainers that yell can be super helpful, as long as they aren't mean. There's a difference in yelling constructively and yelling to make the rider fell awful about themselves.

She is also some what of an inspiration to me. Everytime I'm at a show and I really need to buckle down and focus, I imagine that this trainer is watching me. I feel like I have to prove her wrong- that I DO deserve to ride and compete. This makes me work my hardest when it really counts. It's all about how you twist the situation- it can be constructive, or it can be really bad for your confidence
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post #27 of 89 Old 02-16-2013, 12:54 AM
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the best trainer i had said and i quote you get the nice me i used to make my students cry and if they couldnt handle it they didnt deserve to be taught.She was a yeller never humilating but she got mad if you she showed you something and then 2 minutes later you messed up.shes much harder on the older girls.She also didnt put up with crap which i loved.one girl came in one day and got put on a horse named gray pony and the girl says i dont want to ride that horse he dosnt like me so my trainer goes hes an advanced horse you should be lucky i let you ride him and if you dont want to ride him you can go home
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post #28 of 89 Old 02-16-2013, 02:31 AM
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I absolutely love my shouty instructor! When I was younger I was a very nervous rider, and when things went wrong I wold tend to caught up in the adrenaline and panic. Having someone who I was more scared of than the horse shouting at me to get things under control was what I needed to sort myself out in those moments. Growing up, she rarely shouts at me now - I respond to what she tells me to and we see results, so she doesn't need to. If I act pathetic, she'll tell me, straight up - it gets the last reserves of strength out if me if she shouts that coming into the final line of a treble over a practice course, I find the extra something to hold together through the last fences. I wouldn't swap my instructor for anything, despite her having made me cry, made me so mad I could punch her etc. However, she always has my best interests at heart, and is trying to make me ride better, and she has made me a tougher rider. At the end of that day, what a horse can throw at me is way worse than what anyone could ever shout, and she motivates me to achieve, even if it's sheer determination to prove her wrong sometimes! And the minute I'm out of the saddle, we're best friends and can chat things through again.

The number of times when I first started showing when I was younger, were I was terrified to the point of shaking because I knew my horse was going to chuck me, and she was there to tell me to man up and sort myself out, and that would motivate me to do it. And I never regretted a moment of it.
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post #29 of 89 Old 02-16-2013, 10:38 AM
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There are better ways of motivating a rider to be better than insulting and yelling. Period. I would never pay nor expect to be paid for that type of instruction. If you've ever had an instructor that can motivate you without calling you names and insulting you in front of your peers, you know that it's just as constructive with the added bonus of not feeling like a total failure for all of your efforts and, get this, still having fun? I don't know about you guys, but I didn't start riding to win competitions, I started riding because it's fun. Yeah, that's an awesome payoff for your efforts, but I commend the person who is still having a good time despite where they place. Not crying and beating themselves up because they weren't perfect.
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post #30 of 89 Old 02-16-2013, 10:39 AM
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I have met all sorts of instructors in my career. Majority are less tough nowadays than the 'ex army' of 40 years ago!

I love teaching and have ben told I am very good at it. Some pupils need a kick up the butt whilst others need encouraging and even if it has been a bad lesson all should leave the arena feeling that something has been achieved even if it is how not to do something!

I was working full time with horses and had the chance to go on a course with an Olympic Event trainer.
The woman who arranged this was competing at Badminton so, basically this was her chance of getting a tune up and the rest of us were paying for it.

Much to my amazement instead of being given a time for instruction it was an all day thing with 14 horses in the arena at the same time. It was ridiculous, overcrowded, all sizes of horse, all experience of riders and all different experience with the horses. I was riding a green mare that had done very little.

The first morning about 6 people left the arena in tears. Two came back in the afternoon, one left again as did two other different people.
The instructor was good, he really knew his stuff but was rude, arrogant and determined to end up with only a few riders in the arena.
I have always been stubborn and was going to get my moneys worth and no matter what he called me, screamed and swore I was not going to either cry or leave. The only person who got any praise was the Badminton rider.

One poor woman kept leaving and coming back. She had a very nice 15.2 h grey mare that was a bit beyond her ability. We were doing some grid work and the mare was not going an inch. He yelled and the woman left in tears, leaving her horse. He put the Badminton rider up on the horse and she did no better and the mare was refusing to go over the three trot poles into the grid. (At least this was getting her yelled at!)
I turned to the girl next to me and remarked that I thought I knew what he was getting at.
That man must have ears of a bat because he yelled at me "If you think you can do better, get on the horse!"
I dismounted and handed my horse to the girl next to me and vaulted onto the mare. The stirrups were to small for me, so I crossed them in front of the saddle. The mare was not moving away from the leg so I cracked her two with my whip. She shot off at a fast canter and I brought her back to a trot. Going into the poles she was backing off so I cracked her again. The result was that she scrambled over the trot poles, knocked the first X rail, was going to stop at the bounce so got another crack, went over the bounce and hit the fence out of the grid.

I was hollered at and called all sorts of names. I turned and said "Well, I was taught that if you put a horse at a fence it either went over it or through it but never stayed the same side or went around. Now, she will do it correctly."
Before he could say anything I took the mare back to the grid and this time she was trot, trot, trot, bounce, bounce, bounce, one stride and them two. She did it beautifully, no hesitation or thought about running out. Ears pricked and forward going.
I dismounted and handed him the reins and remarked "Well, I think that is what you wanted." and remounted my horse.

After five days of this type of instruction we had a talk. At the end of this he came to me and said "You have made more improvement than anyone else."
I returned with "Well, had you once given me a world of encouragement I am sure I would have improved more."

To be a good teacher is a gift. It is knowing when and what to yell. It is understanding the temperament of rider and horse. It is an ability to when things are not getting through, being able to look inside oneself and put whatever in another way.

Many top riders will do courses but it does not mean they can teach!

I do admit to yelling and my voice carries! A rider concentrating often needs something to break through the concentration at that particular moment and a good voice will do that!

As I said, even if a ride has not gone well all should leave realising that although it was not the best things were learned.
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