Riding Instructors and Yelling/Insults? - Page 6 - The Horse Forum
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post #51 of 89 Old 03-06-2013, 07:24 PM
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I absolutely do not mind being yelled at or insulted at all. If I deserve an insult than give me one. I'd much rather be told exactly what I am doing wrong than have some pansy who is worried about my feelings keep on letting me make an error.
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post #52 of 89 Old 03-08-2013, 03:12 AM
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I give basic kids lessons. Most of my lesson girls are awesome. I have plenty of patience for them and have learned to explain things in different ways so that they understand. But I am very to the point, not harsh, just always try to keep their head in the game. I get really excited when they "get it" and try to encourage them to always try harder. One student though....oh man. She is a sweet girl, and could literally sit in the pasture brushing one horse for hours and hours on end. But, I am very snappy with her. Almost rude and yelling. The problem is, she has such bad ADD/ADHD that if I don't keep her focused at all times, I'm afraid she's gonna go off into lala land and get hurt!! It's bad, like real bad. I feel like such a B***H every time I give her a lesson. 1 hour lesson, and usually by the time she's done grooming, saddling and lunging, she has about 5 minutes to ride. And that's WITH me barking "Hurry up!" every 2 minutes. Like I said, sweet girl, really loves horse...but can't stay on task for longer then 30 seconds.
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post #53 of 89 Old 03-10-2013, 04:31 PM
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Humiliation of the student should never be the instructor's goal. When a student is having difficulty perhaps it's because it wasn't explained in a way the student understands. Lack of introspect is a failure on the coach's part. I have taught a deaf, a fetal alcohol syndrome, one who could learn only one thing at a time and one ADHD. The only one I had advance notice of was the deaf gal. The others challenged my teaching skills and it wasn't for many months that I was told of their challenges.
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post #54 of 89 Old 03-13-2013, 01:44 PM
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My riding instructor can be harsh, when things are going bad she will shout. But she's a really good teacher, she's the BO and only teaches the advanced lessons which in general are to teenagers and adults not children, I don't think she'd be great teaching kids, she might rip her hair out. The children are taught by the other two instructors who are lovely to them, call them nice names, joke with them etc. But even them instructors can be harsh to us older ones. One of them wasn't happy with my rising trot and stood there slapping (not too hard!) my legs on about muscle and stuff and she's smacked me with the whip before haha (this is all quite jokey though), I'm quite close with her so it doesn't bother me, and when we have a disagreement about something, i can joke with her and stuff. But I have seen her almost tearing her hair out and shrieking when she's mad, it doesn't bother me though, i prefer having a tough instructor, who will yell and tell it to you straight. However i have lessons with my younger sister (12 years old) and i know she doesn't like being yelled at and when the instructors have gotten mad she doesn't like it, she's more sensitive though, I'm not bothered.

I think it depends on the student, if you don't mind being shouted at, fine. But i don't think shouty instructors should be like that with young kids because it might scare them and make riding less fun.
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post #55 of 89 Old 03-13-2013, 07:13 PM
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There are very few moments when you need to yell and scream at your students in my opinion. Trainers need to remember that they are coaches to their riding students. Encouragement and positive reinforcement go a long way, and there is nothing wrong with telling a student they are doing something wrong and quickly correct them to do the right thing. But there really aren't moments when you need to curse/scream/etc.

"Yelling" might have to happen to have a trainers voice reach across the ring, especially in a dire situation... but in my opinion, that is completely different.

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post #56 of 89 Old 03-14-2013, 01:17 AM
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Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
I absolutely do not mind being yelled at or insulted at all. If I deserve an insult than give me one. I'd much rather be told exactly what I am doing wrong than have some pansy who is worried about my feelings keep on letting me make an error.
Being a riding instructor is like any other job. It is about customer service. There may be some people like you, who do not mind being yelled at, but many people *do* mind and will avoid those trainers. Business lost.

If I screamed at my patients how stupid they are for not taking their medications right, not following docs orders, and gererally doing the sometimes downright dangerous things they do, I would get fired, and my patients would not learn a thing. How would you feel as a patient if a doctor or nurse came into your room or home and started screaming insults at you regarding all the medical knowledge that you lack? It could be done, trust me....the average patient knows diddly about medications and disease process. But that would obviously be terribly wrong, right? Terrible customer service.

Most people cannot learn when they are frightened....some can, most cannot.. I have a wonderful trainer. What makes a truly great trainer/instructor is one that gets along with the horses as well as the student, and my trainer does this.

Everyone deserves to be treated with decency and respect. I don't care how hot shot of a trainer or fancy clinician you think you are. You are a person just like me, and we both deserve respect and good manners. If you feel the need to yell insults or have a sharp tone to get your point across, I will take my money elsewhere. That s*** does not fly with me.
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post #57 of 89 Old 03-14-2013, 01:43 AM
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My trainers says things like "don't just sit up there" "work!" "ride!" "i know you can ride, act like it!" but those are just motivational, not insulting. I wouldn't put up with someone who was mean-spirited and it certainly wouldn't help my riding. I did go to one such instructor once and she made me so angry I wanted to leave within the first 10 minutes but I was too polite to do it. In retrospect I should have - there is no reason to treat someone like that. Of course I never returned after that. If you cannot teach someone without insulting them then perhaps teaching is not for you.
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post #58 of 89 Old 08-13-2013, 01:27 PM
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I think it's all in what people can handle and what people want. Some people taking lessons like the "screaming" "fix-it now" attitude, it pushes them to be better. Some people prefer to be pleasantly taught. Insults I think are counter-productive no matter what teaching style you have and what teaching style you want. Just because you showed a certain level, doesn't mean you should teach it.
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post #59 of 89 Old 08-14-2013, 09:23 AM
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When I was 10 I had a horrible trainer that made me quit taking lessons and never look back for a 14 year hiatus...

She used to scream and humiliate me and make me cry, I was 10 years old for christ's sake! The last lesson I had with her is when she put me on a horse having a fit, it crow jumped with me on it and even though she knew I was scared she kept telling me he was fine, until he started bucking I cried to get off and never came back.. And that was sad for me because if I had a different trainer maybe things would have been much different..

So now that I am 24 and back in the saddle with my own horse, my trainer is also my friend at the place I board with and she is amazing!! she is always so patient with me even when I am frustrated, she has never lost her temper or anything! Sometimes though when she is trying to tell me something and I don't answer back she'll like cup her hands over her mouth and be like "Hello! LISTEN" lol but that's it, we'll both laugh when I do stupid things but in all seriousness she's the best trainer I've had.
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post #60 of 89 Old 08-14-2013, 06:33 PM
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I would be totally humiliated if anyone talked that way to me in public, and though this may seem far fetched, I think some of that BS, especially directed at the kids, ought to be recorded and reported to CPS. There are laws against verbal and emotional abuse.
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