Riding Instructors and Yelling/Insults? - Page 7 - The Horse Forum
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post #61 of 89 Old 08-14-2013, 07:10 PM
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I've only had lessons with two trainers. Both are very type A personalities. Both are borderline yelling just to get their voice to carry (And my ears don't work as well as they should), but the only issues I have are when they expect me to know something they've never shown me. Once, one told me to change rein, so I went and changed rein on a small circle, and she yelled at me that she meant down the diagonal. She said it in such a way that it made me feel stupid, and I never spoke another word for the lesson. I have anxiety issues and asthma, and as the lesson went on, it only got worse. I was being criticized every stride, and I tried to fix it but she never told me if I was doing it right, so I would try different things until she yelled at me- the only indicator I had. Eventually I had enough after riding a lap or two around the arena, unable to see through my tears and unable to breath. She was still criticizing me and wanting me to pick up a canter- something that freaks me out even on the best of days.

I don't mind being yelled at and criticized, but you need to tell me if I'm doing it right. My favorite instructer is one of my music director- she believes in giving at least one compliment for every 5 criticisms.
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post #62 of 89 Old 08-15-2013, 10:22 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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When I was 9 I took lessons with a Cowboy type of guy. In the lessons he would yell and swear 24/7. I didn't pay any mind to it. But I was also just a kid.
Here's what i remember though:
He gave lessons to only little kids around my age, most women even though "Women shouldn't ride".
The once I remember him yelling at me about my toes saying "John Wayne didn't ride with his toes out!"
He would use his son's horse, who was a moody mare, in lessons. I believe he mood worsened when they got her in foal. For the first few months they still used her. The once a girl my age was in the center of the arena sitting on her, and a gelding passed by on the rail behind her, so she kicked out with both hind feet, scaring the rider so bad she cried.
We also bought a 18yr old horse off of him, and when we left the property had to leave it behind.
The one other thing I recall is while riding, seeing a horse that we had sold to him running around loose on the property.
Things I learned after we left: He uses the old cowboy method of breaking horses, one being tying it up and making it fall over, then hitting it till it got back on it's feet, and repeating this step.
And the gelding we bought, apparently wasn't allowed to leave the property because he was a lesson horse. My parents were only told so AFTER they bought him. I also met a girl a couple years later who went there just after we left... That gelding was used so often that I don't think he ever got a day off, and he was used for everything. He died the following year after we left, at age 19.
Needless to say I do not have anything more to do with the guy

"It is the difficult horses that have the most to teach you" - Double Dan Horsemanship
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post #63 of 89 Old 09-28-2013, 08:34 PM
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: TN
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My instructor can be kind of abrasive at times, but she is actually a very sweet and caring person. I take it as she cares enough about my success to invest her entire self in it. If she sees me do something wrong, she is going to get on my case about it and make me explain myself and do it right, even if that means yelling and "WHAT ARE YOU DOING; I TOLD YOU FIVE TIMES; YOU NEED TO WAKE UP". I'm paying her to make me better, not make me feel like I'm already good
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post #64 of 89 Old 09-29-2013, 12:32 AM
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All of my instructors have been forced to yell at me or swear at me. 99% of the time, they are very respectful. I am the type of person who holds myself to a very high standard. When I make a stupid mistake, I tend to shut down to the point of being on auto pilot. The only way to snap me out of it seems to be to berate the living crap out of me until I come out of the recesses of my brooding mind. I can tolerate someone who berates me constantly through out a lesson, but they had better be an amazing instructor, otherwise I tire of it fairly quickly. I also have zero tolerance for someone who sugarcoats every thing or ignores my mistakes. I don't want to be told that the mistake I made is ok and not to worry about it. I want to be told that I messed up and I need to fix it. And most importantly, I want someone who can snap me out of it when I mentally shut down. To each their own I guess.
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post #65 of 89 Old 10-22-2013, 08:58 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
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My trainer gets professionally frustrated with me at times. He has yelled a few times, but if that is what it takes to get his point across this thick skull of mine, so be it. I deserve it. :P
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post #66 of 89 Old 10-31-2013, 09:38 PM
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The sign of a good teacher is being able to adjust their teaching style to what the particular student needs. Some people respond better to an outside stressor than others. Some get lazy without the pressure on them. Some just shut down and close themselves off and then learn nothing at all. Now in a safety thing all bets are off IMHO!!

I am not a riding instructor but I teach firefighting classes a good bit. I've had students from 18-50, paid to volunteer and every class I've had to adjust. Not everyone learns the same way. Some guys I have had to get right up in there face and grab them by the air pack straps and drag them away for a butt chewing and others It's just a simple" Hey man, i need you to fix this". Now granted the one time i grabbed someone by the air pack straps he did something extremely stupid and nearly burned up myself another instructor and a couple students. That is one of those safety things that all bets are off. Yes there can be those dangerous times in horse back riding lessons as well. Also in my experience its ussually the younger ones that need a little more shall I say heart to hearts. You know, been on 6 months and know it all, just ask them and they'll tell ya.
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post #67 of 89 Old 11-04-2013, 02:53 AM
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To those like me, who don't like being yelled at, don't forget who's employing who. You can choose not to have lessons with that kind of id...instructor (& I'd tell them why) or you can request that they treat you with a little respect and remain in control of their emotions... or you can choose to 'suck it up'. But they'd have to be a pretty darn great instructor for me to pay them money to abuse me... if for no other reason than it would just distract me & get my hackles up... drove out of the arena Copper?? I think I'd be 'driving' her at a screaming gallop!
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post #68 of 89 Old 11-04-2013, 04:26 AM
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I would no more yell insults at a student than I would beat a horse for being ignorant. Humiliation has no place in a learning environment. I just persist in making a person try until they achieve even the smallest improvement. Then I tell them they were becoming better. Positive is way better than negative, whether working with a horse or a student. Both will learn better if they are not terrified of making any mistakes. The panic that might come from knowing you will be "punished" for doing poorly will make it very difficult for the student OR horse to want to even try.
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post #69 of 89 Old 11-04-2013, 10:44 AM
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I don't recall if I've already posted on this thread, but I'll throw in my two cents regardless.

In fourteen years I have had all sorts of trainers. My first one was definitely intimidating, and not afraid to yell. I'm the type to respect authority, no matter what their 'teaching methods' are.

If it makes you truly uncomfortable, I would change instructors. Horseback riding is supposed to be fun, and I'd guess you're paying quite a bit of money for this service.

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #70 of 89 Old 11-05-2013, 03:10 PM
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Pushing a rider and screaming till you're hoarse are two different things. Over 20 years I've ridden under all sorts of trainers, those that need soap taken to their mouth and some that could use a backbone. I love a coach who pushes, that's what I'm paying for. However, I will NOT tolerate any form of verbal abuse.

I had a coach scream at me in a semi-private lesson on a friend's horse. I was yelled stupid in tack-up because of my saddle choice, dirtiness of the pad, and my obvious lack of care for the horse. Now I'm not a beginner rider, but I'm far from perfect. The horse had some canter transition issues...apparently this was all my fault. I was informed that my butt was big and in the way, that if I ever wanted to be serious about riding I'd go puke right now.... There was a lot of cursing in there and some other not so nice comments. When he tried to schedule me for another lesson I said it was a waste of time as the size of my butt had no correlation to my inability to throw up and I didn't need lessons from him on that subject either.

On the flip side I had taken one lesson with a lady who just praised or watched the entire lesson. I kept asking her if there was anything that needed to be improved or how to change things... waste of 50$.

Yelling to be loud or gain attention is one thing. To mentally break someone down is not acceptable, you're an adult, act like one. If you can't communicate, go be a drill sergeant.
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