I do the "this is what is offered and what I recommend, but you are free to provide what you would like as far as food, chiro, farrier, etc.."
The ONLY exception is if the horse becomes dangerous to ride or handle because of the feeding program, or if the horse is dropping weight or getting fat on the amount of food. The horses health and my safety are my top priorities.
Same with tack, etc.. I have one horse I ride, and unfortunately the owner is now onto purchasing saddle number 3 because they will fit the horse for a while, and then they start hurting him. Luckily she is on board, but I can understand where that would be tough.
Some things like massage, clipping, showing, etc.. will cost extra as well.
The way I see it is you are paying the trainer for their services and expertise. It is worth it to listen to their opinion, but it is more important that your ideas on horse care are aligned with theirs and they treat you as the client and allow you to have an opinion. Both people in the relationnship deserve respect. If I had an owner telling me what to feed the horse and it's a hot horse and it's 10lbs of sweet feed a day - we are going to have an issue.
I don't know both sides of the story here, so can't pass judgement.
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