"As for actually gotten at him, I've tried the come to jesus moments by waving my arms around, stomping growling, and attempting to make him back, but he just takes a step, and stares at me like I'm a crazy lady."
This from post 7 is your problem.
You are not doing a HCTJM. You are acting foolish and accomplishing nothing except telling the horse that you have not got the ability to run the show.
If you can't lunge, can't make him back and can't get much of anything from him? You are much less experienced than you think you are.
Being "good" under saddle may suit him, it may also be you aren't experienced enough there either to see the problems.
Quit *****footing around, find someone that can help you learn how to handle horses, and if your "trainer" is not doing something to make you a better horse handler, which apparently they aren't, find someone else.
And if they have been trying and you are stuck into the "but I love my horsey" mode? Quit it. Listen to the trainer.
It does NOT take days to get a horse to respect you and to do what you asked, especially on the ground. It should not even take hours.
Your handling mechanics are seriously lacking here, and until you change them, you will get nowhere. Your "corrections" lack substance, and are only serving to tell horse that you have no clue what you are doing, and that it doesn't have to mind you.
Horses make me a better person.