First off, I take offense in calling him a cowboy
- archaic trainer is more like it. Today's cowboys have a lot of respect for their horses. His methods sound more like the methods that may have been used by relics like Monty Robert's father. Ask
a horse so he understands what you want and he'll be your trusting partner. Make
a horse do what you want and you have an unhappy machine. The former may take more time but the result is more natural.
As for your dilemma, I would have your mother talk to him but I would bet that, unless she is a savvy horsewoman, he will dismiss any of her concerns about you as a rant from an unknowledgable little girl. Keep your horse away from him as long as possible but you may have little choice - I'm sorry for both you and your horse.