I don't believe "go to a trainer" is the solution to ever problem. I merely came here for opinions on what average people do in a situation like this, I'm still trying new things to deal with the issues as well.
I do consider anyone who tries to work with a problem a trainer.
You don't have to send a horse to the trainer if you oppose it so much. You can just arrange some lessons, so the trainer would teach you how to deal with the situation. And I'm suggesting this as an average person and the horse owner, and that's exactly what I did/would do in a situation similar to yours. Other than that I can't suggest much. Good luck!