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Conflicted with current "job"

806 views 4 replies 5 participants last post by  SwissMiss 
#1 ·
The back story is long, so I'll make this as brief as possible. I'm in a bit of a turmoil. I feel stuck and a bit helpless: I've ridden my entire life, have shown in the A circuit out in the states, worked for a bunch of trainers, gone to a lot of clinics with high level international trainers, pursued a degree on Equine Science have some national titles etc etc etc. I'm very knowledgeable and experienced for my age to say the least (but still constantly seeking improvement.)

This year I recently moved to Mexico with the intention of gaining more experience and broadening my curriculum a bit more. I moved to manage an Andalusian breeding barn, promote horses, sell horses and show the stallions at breed shows and dressage shows. So far so good. The barn has around 18 horses, of which, only 3 are rideable. The rest is composed of babies and broodmares. So in hopes of getting more rides and getting more involved in the jumper world, I took a job as an assistant trainer at a local barn.

This is supposed to be the top eventing trainer in Mexico, and has some close ties to Karen O Connor. At first the workload seemed pretty light. I wasn't going to get paid a normal salary, my work was in exchange for the board of one of my horses without including horse shows, vet and farrier; While still offering me the flexibility to keep tending to the Andalusian horses and the breeding barn.

Few weeks into it, the main trainer left and The workload intensfied. The main trainer was gone most of the time so she barely saw me ride. On the downside her husband was sort of "training" me. To which I may add, he is quite clueless, very amateurish and didn't have much of value to offer. I tried to be kind but I avoided riding with him as much as I could.

Also most of the clients' horses were handed down to me. All the problem horses and ponies were also given to me. On a good day I would end up riding 5 horses and teaching 2 lessons. But for the most part I was riding around 7-8 horses plus teaching morning lessons 6 days a week mostly by myself. The entire operation had been handed to me and I felt so burnt out; To this I've been really neglecting the andalusian barn.


the main trainer keeps on bringing up this whole story about how she had to work just as hard to be at where she is at. In kind words, she hinted that I needed to suck it up and deal with it. I've tried to politely quit about 3 times now. I gave them a month deadline to find someone else. I do like riding for the main trainer... but at this point I'm not sure if the cost is worth it. I mentioned just becoming a paying client and remaining in her program and with the flexibility of helping around whenever I could. To which she said it was either one or the other and that she would rather me be her assistant over a paying client.

Not much monetary gain and experience wise, it's been ok. But nothing outstanding. On the up side, I got a free shared lesson with Karen O Connor. I get a 25% monthly commission on clients I bring in to the barn. but that's about it. 6 days of work, Mondays off and the option to do my dressage shows plus the board of my mare and only 2 weeks of vacations a year. Note: I have no friends and family in this city. I have to fly out and drive far to see them.

I get to jump occasionally. I jump more when the main trainer is around, which I like. But I'm seriously thinking about going solo and just focusing on the andalusian horses and leaving the whole jumping thing on hold. Perks of that is I make my own schedule, get 20% commission on sales and stud fees and I could pay off my own horses expenses teaching little kids in the area to ride. Plus the other thing is I could just take jumping lessons whenever I wanted with local trainers while still pursuing some end of the year national titles in dressage.

I'm honestly tired, emotionally and physically exhausted.
The trainer has made it really hard for me to leave because she keeps saying she will lower the work load and have some person to assist me on the side for when things get too though. She has given me some slack, but despite all those new things, I'm not sure if being tied down to a place whit such inconsistent flow of experience is the right thing for me. They don't want me to leave, and I feel pretty unsure on what to do, because they keep on being nice and saying all these lovely things to me. About how I'll reach some eventing panam team if I stay with them, or how they are giving me so manny good things and that I should appreciate them more. It sounds good when they say it... but I hate the pressure.

Should I set off on my own with the Andalusian barn and lessen the work load while making better money? On the side I'd still be riding with more experienced people and taking clinics while also showing. Bad thing the whole Andalusian thing is not directly tied to jumping.

Or should I continue to ride for this trainer.

I've done my fair share of working student stuff and have slaved off a bunch. But I don't know if I want to do that for another year. I'm still very hard working... but they make it seem like it's a big lack of character chickening out and not enduring the hard sacrifices this whole horse thing entails. I understand the whole work hard to become a top level rider.. I honestly do. It's not that I'm lazy or anything, but it feels that way.

I love teaching and I love jumping, that's been keeping me from being firm about leaving... but considering the level of trainers in Mexico, I don't think I'd do that horrible on my own. Just afraid that working by myself might keep me from improving my riding. Just feel a bit conflicted and undervalued at this new place.

The main trainers can be pretty mean to the staff for really silly things and that's been a turn off too... I'm all over the place and have no clarity as of now. But maybe seeking the path of a "professional" on my own while still having some mentors on the side would be best... any thoughts on this? had anyone ever been on a spot similar to mine? Conflicted? I feel pretty bad :neutral: something I love shouldn't feel like a burden. I try to leave but they make it super hard.
 
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#2 ·
It sounds to me like they are taking advantage of you. That sounds like an awful lot of work for free board for one horse. It doesn't sound as if you are getting many benefits in exchange for your effort. In my experience, I have discovered that some employers will take advantage and always demand more from you, and the only way to break the pattern is to leave.
 
#3 ·
Bingo!!! You are being used, they get all the benefits of a rider, trainer, and instructor while getting paid for lessons you give. And you get free board for one horse, at what??? $400 a month or so?

Your current labor ~~ per week ~~is worth at least that much, and you're burning the candle at both ends. Not such a great deal.
Do what makes YOU happy, you owe them nothing.
 
#4 ·
Did someone sneak up on you one night and tattoo your forehead with 'MUG'?

Of course she doesn't want you to be a paying client it would mean she has to do more work.

Seek out a position where you will a) be paid b) be appreciated. C) have a work contract d) have a set number of hours you work each day/week. Obviously with animals ot is never going to be a 9-5 job but if you work more hours then you should either be paid extra or have time in lieu.

Preferably get a position nearer to family and friends.

As said, many employers will take advantage and dedicated horse people put up with it because of their love of the animals. You are starting out and make sure you are travelling in the right direction or you will be burned out before you know it.

Good luck
 
#5 ·
Yes, you are royally taken advantage of! It is very easy to get suckered into a situation like this, because it sounds sooo got at the beginning. But eventually the truth comes out.

The trainer has made it really hard for me to leave because she keeps saying she will lower the work load and have some person to assist me on the side for when things get too though.
How much of help did you get? It's easy to say so, but the promise has to be followed up by actions (and not just for a couple of days).

...the main trainer keeps on bringing up this whole story about how she had to work just as hard to be at where she is at. In kind words, she hinted that I needed to suck it up and deal with it...
yes, there is some degree of sucking it up involved. But just because your trainer went that route (being taken advantage of) doesn't mean you need to do the same!

And of course she wants to keep you as her assistant! Currently you are lessening her workload quite a bit, while as a client you can demand her undivided attention...
 
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