Originally Posted by ReiningTrainer View Post
Everyone that owns a horse is a trainer, for good or bad. If your horse is responding by getting better with the techniques you choose to use, stand up for yourself. As long as you are not endangering someone or someone's horse, the BM should keep quiet. I have done a lot of boarding of my horses in the past and it is the people that are hard to deal with. Don't compromise what you do to please someone who may not have a clue what is going on.
Agreed. I wish I'd read this earlier!
Today was terribly windy, and she was a wreck of nerves.. Unfortunately, I failed to say anything to the BM and once again, the "buddy sour" explosion happened. (Tractors were also around the yard full-tilt and in relatively close proximity).
My friend led the gelding out, and she swung her body flush against the front wall (with me between). Cerra now knows and respects "My space. Move over. You're in MY space." so there was no real concern there, except for when it was wall-me-horse (I had a foot of room on either side of me) and the BM is in the second stall at her rear, once more feverently demanding to: "get that rope loose! You're going to get a foot in the wrong place! Get her out of that!"
Granted, I'm a little foot-shy of horses ANYWAYS, but when someone who's supposed to be a horse professional starts freaking out about said situation, she's GOING to freak me out in return, even mildly. And now Cerra probably KNOWS she can get away with it because yesterday it was "the release is the reward". (Although she didn't freak as bad as yesterday, she's still jittery because of the unseen tractors.)
I have, however, noticed a pattern. Cerra likes to test waters. And she always tenses up when BM is around. It's like she goes from docile and okay to skittish and uncertain. Going out to/away from the pasture, she is willing and lovely to lead (a little testy, but generally good). So.. maybe, maybe, I'll stop tying her in a stall and try outside so she can SEE what's going on.. and if she flips, well, there's no box.
Tonight I introduced the Clicker to help with feet (which is already amazing). Armed with hoof pick and pick up hand, I asked my friend to watch for and "click" when she gave me her foot. That's all we were aiming for. To enforce that submissive feet is good. Cut off the BM mid-speech to do the same thing of "click" when she gives it up. Good girl, she gives it, I lift and gently release. (Hooves are 3 months over due from previous owners, so I'm not really picky about the length of time she co-operates, as long as she's willing.. and there's no chestnut pick required!
). Then comes the speech of something else I'm doing wrong.
I told my friend that I didn't have intentions on working with her lots today past the groom and a bit of leading cause she was overly spooky outside the paddock. My friend said she has to learn to overcome it, and I understand, but we'll work on it more when she's settled and comfortable (other boarders horses still alienate/attack her. She honestly looks to us for companionship because she's so lonely.) I'm planning on working on lunging her tomorrow, let her stretch her legs and have some fun.
But that pile of roses I mentioned yesterday regarding the BM departure only got sweeter today. I'm looking to pull her (unfortunately) at the end of the month because of BM's behaviour. There's helping and then there's pushing.
My friend discovered much to her horror that in the tack room, her English saddle had slipped to the side (on the tack stand) and that a Western saddle had been placed on top
(of the English saddle). "No one else has been in there, but you girls, so it had to be one of you."
Nu uh lady. Said friend didn't recognize said Western saddle, and mentioned it. Turns out it (English saddle) doesn't fit her horse anymore, but the BM didn't instruct for her to take it home, so she left it. And that's how its adding up. Everyday, we are such villians. Plus, we just had a b/s contract shoved in our face with so much gray area, it's not funny... (instead of bring it to us, she took the luxury of placing it in my car).
My husband is strongly urging that it's the BM's way of telling us to leave without directly saying it because that's the way us women tend to work.
I've had enough and Grr. Sorry again, about the novel post.. I'm just at my wits end with this nonsense. If Cerra doesn't learn to fully respect me now and accept me as the Alpha, she's definitely not going to down the road.