I agree with all the answers above. Some fantastic replies here. I am however commenting from the other end of the scale experience wise, Ive been turning to this forum alot recently with confidence issues my self which have rissen when taking a fall trying to bring on a very green broke ( but admittedly easy to do) pony.
After I took my fall I lost HUGE amount of confidence and went from teaching the canter in circles the night before to shaking when trying to walk around the arena. The point im trying to make is this pony never played up once I was there when he got backed etc, as soon as I fell and lost my confidence I started imagining the same happening again and I started creating problems. This pony started stopping and not moving forward , whilst leading, entering stables and whilst riding. I was too frightened to smack him because I was scared of his reaction. Basicaly I just did what I felt confident in doing until my friend who broke him came to help, which was loads of ground stuff.
He even tried to kick me in the stable at on point.
Being scared doesnt help anyone infact it will lead to dangerous situations. But I know how hard it is to get rid of the fear. My friend came and straightened all of these "issues" I had created in my HEAD in an hour. Most of them didnt even exist.
Last night her and her mum came and gave me confidence while I rid, I was shaking when I got on and I started to work in the arena. Her mum started giving ME a lesson, back to basics telling me to move my hads lengthen my legs, turn this way, that way, sitting trot etc etc. The next I knew I was flying around the arena without a care in the world. It took my mind off the pony and onto my self.
After going through a similar situation confidence wise id say do what work you feel confident with yourself starting from very basics on the respect side as mentioned in previous posts.
Let you farrier and or BF do the more difficult stuff that upsets you like tying so that it can be sorted NOW. and then when you build your respect and confidence levels try getting a lesson or two on him riding even if its off your BF. Not because you need lessons just because it will amaze you that when your mind is busy thinking hard about listening to somebody and now worrying about mooses next move how the two of you will do wonders and so the confidence grows in every session!
Iam a work in progress still but instead of feeling like I cant do this pony, after just one session with someone helping im looking forward to taking on new things and realising REALLY how much of this stuff is in my head. If I think hes gonna spook, hes gonna spook. When I thought he was gonna keep stopping hes obviously gonna keep stopping and as my reinforcment lessened with my confidence so did his respect. Now I feel like im gaining it back and gaining back control. I am no longer scared to smack him on his butt when he tries to stop or slowdown with our me asking because I know its what he needs. You will find your horse will LOVE you more and more the stronger a leader you become. He wants a leader. A leader he can trust and therefore respect.
I hope you can get your nerves together, for both your sakes. Good luck and enjoy!!
Last edited by Sammyjoe; 05-30-2012 at 09:41 AM.