Emotionally Unavailable Horse? Help! - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 27 Old 06-09-2011, 10:28 PM
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Why do you need your horse to be a snuggle fest? Why can't he be a horse instead of a puppy?


Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~anebel~*~ View Post
Some horses are just like that, especially because you say he is a pasture bully I suspect he has a very dominant attitude. These personally are my favorite type because they don't back down when you push them in the work, they usually seem to thrive off it.

Very interesting as my love bug hates to work, my legs get more work than he does.
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post #22 of 27 Old 06-09-2011, 11:06 PM
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I think the real issue for the OP is that the horse's personality is not in line with what she wants, which is fine. You're allowed to want to enjoy your time with your horse and what works for one rider may not work for another. I would like to point out though, that even if this horse doesnt like getting fussed over and loved the way you want to love him, you need to make sure that your horsemanship doesn't suffer or end when you leave the arena. Groom him, hand graze him and spend as much time working with him on the ground as you would if he was the cuddle bug you had hoped for. You will figure out what he does and does not like and at the end of the summer, the quirks that irritate you now may become endearing and bring some humor, which may be all you were really looking for anyway. As Maura pointed out, take notes for yourself for when you do buy your own horse. =)

That's my two cents. OK maybe one cent...
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post #23 of 27 Old 06-09-2011, 11:56 PM
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I wouldn't suggest hand grazing. I don't want my horse to associate handling to come with an order of free food. Quick story- I used to let my mom borrow my mare for trail rides. Apparently she didn't know that horses shouldn't be allowed to munch on leaves, grass and moss the whole ride. You wouldn't believe how much of a pain in the butt that was to stop.

Okay back to the OP
I owned a mare that did not click. 3-4yrs of grooming, groundwork, riding and daily meals...Nothing changed.
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post #24 of 27 Old 06-10-2011, 04:07 AM
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Quote:
I think the real issue for the OP is that the horse's personality is not in line with what she wants, which is fine. You're allowed to want to enjoy your time with your horse
Great point! If what the OP enjoys about her riding time is the feeling that the horse responds to grooming, affection and treats, that is fine. I had a lot of clients who felt the same way. This horse is a lease, so she needs to learn what she can from him, and when she's in a position to buy something of her own, she needs to pay attention to the quality of their non-riding interaction, because that's important to her.

I think the unfortunate phrase "emotionally unavailable" is distracting posters (including me!) from the actual very real issue.
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post #25 of 27 Old 06-10-2011, 06:09 AM
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Wow, I agree with most of these posters. Some horses bond with people some just don't. I had a herd of 9 horses. Most were loving but a few would rather not be messed with. I had a special bond with my arab mare but it took over a year for that. It took many, many days of no work but just sitting with her as she did her own thing. That helped her to trust me. During that first year I rode her, groomed her, fed her, and talked to her. But like I said, it took a very long time for our bond to form.

Like everyone has said, he may just be the type that just wants to be left alone on the bonding side. Just try to enjoy what you have in him now and when you are ready for your own, then you can put forth more effort in the special bond your looking for.
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post #26 of 27 Old 06-10-2011, 07:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbender View Post
Wow, I agree with most of these posters. Some horses bond with people some just don't. I had a herd of 9 horses. Most were loving but a few would rather not be messed with. I had a special bond with my arab mare but it took over a year for that. It took many, many days of no work but just sitting with her as she did her own thing. That helped her to trust me. During that first year I rode her, groomed her, fed her, and talked to her. But like I said, it took a very long time for our bond to form.

Like everyone has said, he may just be the type that just wants to be left alone on the bonding side. Just try to enjoy what you have in him now and when you are ready for your own, then you can put forth more effort in the special bond your looking for.
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The last paragraph of mbender's quote is so very vaid and excellent insights to enjoy what you can do with your lease horse for now.
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post #27 of 27 Old 06-11-2011, 10:44 AM
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I agree that some horses are just more stand offish and others love that interaction.

Hubby's horse is a cuddle bug...he will give other horses the evil eye so he can have hugs and kisses to himself he is hilarious. He has a serious work ethic though. Works like a little trooper and smart as a whip. Loves to smell my hair - if he had fingers he'd be running his fingers in my hair (come to think of it if he was human he'd make a good boyfriend!)

My first horse Red didn't mind hugs and kisses but he didn't seek them out...he thought everyone should adore him just because!

Biscuit was extremely stand offish when I got him and in fact, would freeze in place when I petted/hugged or touched him. He had been treated harshly and it showed. It took 5 months for him to come to me in the pasture and that was from giving treats to make a bond with him. He still isn't the love bug Sarge is but for the most part he doesn't flinch when I touch him anymore.

As long as he is not trying to be disrespectful, respect his differences. Not all people are "people friendly" and the same with horses. This horse is all business - enjoy him and learn from his highly skilled training and then look for a Sarge - highly trained and your 4 legged sweetheart!

Enjoying my Garmin and mapping trails
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