I absolutely felt immersed in your situation while reading your post. Some years ago, I had the occasion to acquire an old grey mare (only actually 5 years old as it turned out) named 'Frankie' for reasons I later learned meant she injured herself constantly and was dubbed, "Frankenstein."
I knew she was anxious concerning several certain situations, and I decided I liked her enough to pasture her for a project horse shortly after I received her. The seven mile trip to my mothers mountain pasture included a 2.5 mile highway stretch with wide shoulders. I was, as a result, unprepared to react in the manner I would have liked (in retrospect) when we reached the little two-lane highway bridge at mile 1.5 of the highway stretch and she came 'unglued' at the sound of the passing and oncoming traffic crossing the bridge at 60 mph. My first instinct said, "come unglued bigger and put her in her place." Would've probably been somewhat effective, but is this where I NEEDED to direct my energy?
This is where my epiphany struck. Out of necessity to reach the destination, I pondered the moment... "Every time I point her at the bridge, she starts crawdaddyin,' so, in the interest of keeping this ride as routine and uneventful (AND without turning around and spending the extra 45 minutes to go around the mountain) I'll just embrace the crayfishin' and we'll ride backwards".
The entire length of the bridge was traversed in reverse.
The reaction's timely manner, was key. She tired of backwards movement very soon after completion of the bridge obstacle.
However, while in the jaws of the sabre-toothed bridge, the white line that was three feet from the guardrail was never crossed. I mean, that horse rode as straight and perfect as if she was following her mom,...in reverse. She needed someone to "take the reins" and lead her convincingly. My success in this session (always training) hinged on my appropriate reaction to what I considered a foolish concern, though she didn't see it that way.
My lesson was learned that, in this particular instant, maybe keeping things in line with an air of practicality would benefit both the horse and the rider. I kept that horse for another year. I would have her still if I hadn't taken a job out of state.
I guess my point is; if you encounter a situation where you are unsure what to do about a particular hang-up, stop and think about whether there is a way that you can get your desired results, while letting the animal know, "I understand you're uncomfortable with this and I am willing to let you do it your way in the spirit of compromise, but, there will be no mistake about the fact that we are going down that driveway, one way or another." Your take on your situation may well have extenuating factors, unaddressed in my interpretation of your situation, but received with that in consideration, find not the instructions in the text, but the intention. There will of course be those particular instances when this interpretation is the absolute wrong thing to do.
There will, undoubtedly, be someone who disagrees with some aspect of this technique, but then, in the spirit of the thread, take the good from each chunk of sage wisdom, and apply it to your personality, and your horses personality.
It may, or may not, be a method consistent with your take on what the horse needs. It is for 'you' to decide, and every trainer should encourage inquisition to and improvement on their method. We never know everything. It just gets harder to find improvements as we sharpen our skill. I'll never stop listening, though I haven't heard many sound, usable suggestions lately, like the training advice I was so absorbent of when I started.
In my opinion, each horse has a specific need, for a specific understanding of their concerns, with a positive conveyance of your leadership thrown in, to give them confidence in you and your ability to be clear, concise, proficient, calm, and charismatic enough to warrant their undying affection and loyalty. This is what builds lasting trust between the horse and rider.
This is where we (or at least I) finally understand the reasons for the broadness of the training techniques on the "market" today. Each one as I eluded to before, is not a scientific diagram, as much as it is a method of reacting to your horse, with sensitivity to that horses own "Horsenality." (of course, this particular term is Parelli derived, but was something I saw as worthy of incorporation into my own training style.)
Never is there a need to dismiss an idea, based solely on the fact that it was not your own. After all, it was your idea to 'allow' it into your playbook.
You are on the right track. Being versed in several methods of instruction and guidance makes us better grounded, and more prepared trainers.
Don't you think.
Even if you have no interest in the nuts and bolts of day to day training of your horse, and tend to leave this on the shoulders of your trainer, your understanding of what your trainer is doing or not doing will give you a better idea of what that trainer has programmed into your horses mind, what your horse thinks of it, and how you can best utilize it.
When it becomes time to move in a positive direction, you'll have the upper hand because you have considered the advice, and made an informed decision, confident in the fact that you've done some checking around. I hope this gives you a lift, and you are able to appreciate it and incorporate something from it into your own style.
Never underestimate the power of your own style. Good luck and keep me posted on whether this post was as helpful as it was originally intended.