Fear of refusals :/
Ok so a little background info (some of you may be familiar with it from my other posts so i'll keep it brief). My horse and I started jumping in Florida and were really confident (I was practically fearless lol), i felt like we could jump anything and I never questioned my horse or my ability over jumps. Then we moved to Ky moved to a barn that I wasnt comfortable with (I was there for about 7 monthes) and it ruined my confidence. I wasnt comfortable with the trainer so I didnt take many lessons which led to me attempting jumping on my own a few times and having a couple nasty refusals :/.
Anyway, now I'm at a new barn and back on track (yay lol). We have been working on jumping in a few recent lessons and the only thing that is really holding me back is my fear of refusals. We have been jumping small stuff no problem but everytime my trainer introduces us to a new/different/higher jump I get extremely nervous even though I know we can do them. Sometimes I will push myself and go over them and it is always goes fine, after one time of going over a jump I'm totally fine doing it again (and again and again lol) and I absolutely love it but its that first time over a jump that scares the crap out of me. Other times I have to ask for the jump to be lowered or something (my trainer is awesome and super understanding, she knows we can do it but totally respects my comfort zone). I'm so frustrated with being scared though. Does anyone have a similar situation or any advice? Anything will help lol.