Hi all,
I haven't spent much time around horses, but my wife has, and my daughter has been working with horses in 4H for the past 5 years. This was my wife and daughter's 'thing,' something they did together, and outside of the occasional work involved and the money spent, I was very hands-off. This was theirs.
My wife passed away two weeks ago. I am committed to stepping up to fill her considerable shoes. We have a nine year old mare and her two year old filly. I am smart enough to know that I don't know the first thing about training a horse, but I also know a little about common sense. My daughter is pretty knowledgeable, but she's also 14, which means she believes she is much more experienced than she actually is. This is just a little background for my question.
Every day when we feed the evening grain, my daughter and I butt heads about this little problem. My wife would mix the water with the grain before feeding, never had an issue. My daughter on the other hand insists that she needs to put the grain in the feeding bin, then 'argue' with our two year old filly to get her to back up while she waters it down. It's a fight that never goes well. She backs her up, but as soon as she turns her back on the horse to water the grain, the horse is trying to push past her to get to it again, which means she has to stop and back up the horse again. She's a good filly, but she's also a 2 year old, 1,000 lb animal. She's kicked and thrown fits during these little episodes, which prompts me to enter the stall with them and back her down, which then sets off my daughter who tells me she needs to do this on her own. My solution is to simply water the grain down before presenting it into the feeding bin. My daughter insists that I am wrong. Of course, to her I'm just a 48 year old fool without the knowledge or wisdom of a 14 year old girl with 5 years of riding under her belt.
My question is, is there a right answer to this dilemma? It seems to me that common sense would dictate that you never lose the fights you don't start, and teaching the filly to back up and stay put would be much, much simpler if it wasn't happening at feeding time. And, even if it is a proper time to teach the horse this lesson, perhaps it isn't proper to try to teach the horse this skill by turning your back on it to water the grain and expecting it to comply.
Sorry for the long first post. I'm tired and frustrated and frankly a little out of my element. Thank you in advance for any advice you may have.
I haven't spent much time around horses, but my wife has, and my daughter has been working with horses in 4H for the past 5 years. This was my wife and daughter's 'thing,' something they did together, and outside of the occasional work involved and the money spent, I was very hands-off. This was theirs.
My wife passed away two weeks ago. I am committed to stepping up to fill her considerable shoes. We have a nine year old mare and her two year old filly. I am smart enough to know that I don't know the first thing about training a horse, but I also know a little about common sense. My daughter is pretty knowledgeable, but she's also 14, which means she believes she is much more experienced than she actually is. This is just a little background for my question.
Every day when we feed the evening grain, my daughter and I butt heads about this little problem. My wife would mix the water with the grain before feeding, never had an issue. My daughter on the other hand insists that she needs to put the grain in the feeding bin, then 'argue' with our two year old filly to get her to back up while she waters it down. It's a fight that never goes well. She backs her up, but as soon as she turns her back on the horse to water the grain, the horse is trying to push past her to get to it again, which means she has to stop and back up the horse again. She's a good filly, but she's also a 2 year old, 1,000 lb animal. She's kicked and thrown fits during these little episodes, which prompts me to enter the stall with them and back her down, which then sets off my daughter who tells me she needs to do this on her own. My solution is to simply water the grain down before presenting it into the feeding bin. My daughter insists that I am wrong. Of course, to her I'm just a 48 year old fool without the knowledge or wisdom of a 14 year old girl with 5 years of riding under her belt.
My question is, is there a right answer to this dilemma? It seems to me that common sense would dictate that you never lose the fights you don't start, and teaching the filly to back up and stay put would be much, much simpler if it wasn't happening at feeding time. And, even if it is a proper time to teach the horse this lesson, perhaps it isn't proper to try to teach the horse this skill by turning your back on it to water the grain and expecting it to comply.
Sorry for the long first post. I'm tired and frustrated and frankly a little out of my element. Thank you in advance for any advice you may have.