Friend asked to 'retrain' my mare, should I let her?
   

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Friend asked to 'retrain' my mare, should I let her?

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  • Got a 18 year old horse that hasn't been rode in a year how to retrain ?
  • My friend wants my horse

 
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    12-02-2009, 01:18 AM
  #1
Started
Friend asked to 'retrain' my mare, should I let her?

I'm on another horse forum, nd on it I mentioned that some of my goals for 2010 are to retrain my mare a little bit.

Basically, what I want to do with her is:
1. Teach Her To Flex - she has a shorter, thicker neck and can lock it in place... she flexes only when she feels like is and braces against me when she does.
2. Give Her Brakes - her 'whoa' is almost nonexistant... when she wants to, she will duck her head to where her hackamore isn't effective and run away... she loves to run and will fight me when I go to stop her and her brakes just aren't good, period.
3. Teach Her To Move Off Leg Cues - she is completely immune to leg cues... she absolutely doesn't do them at all...

Anyway, my best friend read what I wrote and wrote me, asking if I'd allow her to 'retrain' my mare. I'm not really clear on why she suddenly wants to work with my girl... my friend hasn't even been on my mare's back in about five years, and suddenly she wants to train her to flex and stop on cue easily for me... I'm a little suspiscious, and I feel bad about it... but I can't help it... it's just a bit... odd.

Her words when she asked me (she asked me via internet) were "I have a question for you... Would you consider letting me retrain Gypsie for you since I have a roundpen and you don't and you're working more with Dakota (my three and a half year old gelding) and not riding or working with Gypsie that much lately? I could teach her 'whoa' and how to flex properly."

I wrote her back and asked why she wanted to when she has a gelding she's trying to teach respect to and a 'spazzy' six month pregnant mare and another pregnant pony mare who she works with every now and then.

Her reply was: "I don't know. I just got the urge to ask. So, would you? I would need to bring her here. You would still be able to see her whenever you want, since you live only three miles from me. I might see you more too, since I'll be holding your horse 'prisoner'."

I wrote her back and told her that if she really wanted to, then she could try... because it may be good for Dakota to not have Gypsie around for a while... He's very attached to her, though they both ride without the other very easily... I just wish he wasn't such a 'titti-baby'.

She wrote my back and told me that she wanted to and it'll probably be the next week or so before she comes and gets Gypsie, because she wants the rain to clear up before she introduces Gypsie to her herd. She said she doesn't know how long she'll keep her... three weeks or so, probably longer if I'm willing to supply feed, which I am as I have one-hundred and fifty pounds of feed for my two in the barn, plus extra and my horses only get one pound of a soaked Alfalfa and Oats mixture a day. My friend also said that her only condition for doing this is she wants me to start riding with her at least once a week again. We used to ride together all the time and after she moved, we kinda... quit. (I knew she had an ulterier motive!)

~~~

Anyway, my real question is.. does this sound like a fairly good idea... I'm almost twenty, so is my friend. I can easily say that this girl is my absolute best friend and I'd trust my life with her. If I couldn't afford my horses, I'd give them to her before anyone else. I trust her, plain and simple. She's also good with horses and has helped to train a few, like me. She's dealt with spazzes and such more than I have, as my horses are laid back and her main riding mare is a 'nutcase' (and she's worked with other 'nutcase' horses before). She helped me 'retrain' my cousins mare from a 'dangerous' horse to one that my twelve year old cousin rides after her mind was 'ruined' by abusive riders/trainers. We've both dealt with buckers, kickers, biters, green horses, and completely untrained horses and turned them into nice/fairly nice trail horses.

I have faith that she can do this with my mare if she has the time... plus, my mare isn't a spaz, nor is she disrespectful or very unpredictable... and it would really give me some more time to work with my gelding without distractions... so I'm liking the idea more and more... but I want you more experienced horse-persons advice. The only thing I'm worried about is that my girl is (was?) a bucker (up until we fell the other month, my girl bucked a few times on every ride... but after we fell and she healed and was put back into work, she hasn't even offered to buck, though I've given her plenty of chances) and is slightly gun-shy and we do have a lot of hunters out here (though she's gotten much better about it and doesnt really freak out and go nuts anymore).

Here's a pic of my girl:


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    12-02-2009, 04:58 AM
  #2
Green Broke
Your horse is beautiful! I personally would not let my riding friends train my horse, but that's only because pretty much all of them jerk a horse in the mouth and punish it for not doing something perfectly and if somone did that to rena we would have a problem.

But if you agree with your friends training methods then go for it! As long as you know how she rides and handles situations then I think it could work :)
     
    12-02-2009, 05:32 AM
  #3
Showing
I think that since you know how she handles her horses and like how she rides (and you trust her), it might not be a bad idea. One question though, do those "spazzy" horses that she rides, do they get better after she starts riding them or do they stay the same? If they get better then I would probably be willing to let her ride my horse if I wasn't prepared or didn't have time to work them myself. Since you live so close, you can check up on her all the time and see exactly how she is doing. You can give it a shot and if you don't like how she is handling Gypsy, you can always change your mind.
     
    12-02-2009, 06:03 AM
  #4
Foal
A lovely horse. No , I would go with my instincts, and not aloow her. I would also get an instructor to come to me and teach me at the same time as the horse, so that I was the rider.
     
    12-02-2009, 06:28 AM
  #5
Banned
I think the real questions here are what are her qualifications as a rider and trainer and is she capable of getting the job done in a way you'll be happy with. Your post seems to indicate that the answers are yes.

If her motivation for offering is to have you back as a riding buddy, well, then, that's lovely.

Do agree on an "escape clause" before your friend comes and gets her - conditions under which either one of you can cancel the deal with no hard feelings.
     
    12-02-2009, 07:10 AM
  #6
Showing
Is she a good rider, trainer, etc.? I see 2 possibilities here:
1) Gypsie
needs more riding on her. If your friend knows how to deal with horses and is a good rider then I think it's a great idea to let her just ride the horse keep her fit and happy.

2) You really want to RETRAIN her to know this and that. Then no, I think it's best to either send the horse to the real trainer (who does have experience actually training), or take lessons with the knowledgeable instructor. It's really hard to "un-train" the horse taught something in wrong way.

Personally, I'd not send my horses "to retrain" to someone just because he/she is my friend and I trust him/her.
     
    12-02-2009, 07:23 AM
  #7
Weanling
I think you should invest in a trainer and have he/she come out and help direct you in achieving these goals yourself. There is no better feeling than training your own horse and a trainer is more a trainer for you than the horse, since youll gain the knowledge to deal with these problems in the future, whether they be from your current horse or another one down the road.
     
    12-02-2009, 07:31 AM
  #8
Weanling
I would look into getting a contract written up that states you are not liable for any injuries that might occur, and for her that she is not liable for anything that might happen to your horse. You might think she's your friend and would never sue you, but you also have to think about actions her family might take. Better safe than sorry.
     
    12-02-2009, 09:36 AM
  #9
Banned
I always look at what the other person has, how her horses respond, how well trained they are and ask myself if that is what I want?? If the answer is yes then go for it. If you want more from your horse then NO.
     
    12-02-2009, 02:45 PM
  #10
Started
Quote:
Your horse is beautiful!
Thank you.

Quote:
I personally would not let my riding friends train my horse, but that's only because pretty much all of them jerk a horse in the mouth and punish it for not doing something perfectly and if somone did that to rena we would have a problem.
My friend is very, very light on her horses mouths... I'm a bit heavier handed with my mare, but with my gelding I'm lighter... but my friend is much better than I am.


[quote]I think that since you know how she handles her horses and like how she rides (and you trust her), it might not be a bad idea. One question though, do those "spazzy" horses that she rides, do they get better after she starts riding them or do they stay the same? If they get better then I would probably be willing to let her ride my horse if I wasn't prepared or didn't have time to work them myself. Since you live so close, you can check up on her all the time and see exactly how she is doing. You can give it a shot and if you don't like how she is handling Gypsy, you can always change your mind.[/quote[
She only has one 'spazzy' horse right now, her main riding mare... When she got the mare, she was greenbroke, and now she's a really good horse most of the time. The mare is half blind in one eye, naturally highstrung, and going on six months pregnant, so she's a bit more skittish right now, but she's come a very long way, in my opinion, of how she was when my friend got her two years ago. Sometimes the horse has 'moments' but not very often. My friend also has a Quarterhorse gelding who has no respect and a few months ago was charging at her and acting like he wanted to hurt her... she started working with him more and now he's pretty respectful and doesn't act like he used to. I would go check on my girl quite often, but if she handles Gyps like she handles her own, then I'd be fine.


Quote:
a lovely horse. No , I would go with my instincts, and not aloow her. I would also get an instructor to come to me and teach me at the same time as the horse, so that I was the rider.
Thanks... I don't have money for an instructor or to send my horse/s to a trainer. I only know of two barns anywhere around here, and both of their prices are outrageous.


Quote:
I think the real questions here are what are her qualifications as a rider and trainer and is she capable of getting the job done in a way you'll be happy with. Your post seems to indicate that the answers are yes.

If her motivation for offering is to have you back as a riding buddy, well, then, that's lovely.

Do agree on an "escape clause" before your friend comes and gets her - conditions under which either one of you can cancel the deal with no hard feelings.
I feel like she's capable of teaching my girl to flex and 'whoa'. Neither of us are actually 'qualified'... but we've been riding for a long time and I feel like we're good enough to teach our horses what they need to become better and safer trail horses, since that's all we do. Yeah, she wants me to ride with her at least once a week if she does this... that's fine for me, because I don't have money to pay her, so riding with her is perfect... lol. What kind of 'escape clause'? I'm not good on things like that... lol.


Quote:
Is she a good rider, trainer, etc.? I see 2 possibilities here:
1) Gypsie
needs more riding on her. If your friend knows how to deal with horses and is a good rider then I think it's a great idea to let her just ride the horse keep her fit and happy.

2) You really want to RETRAIN her to know this and that. Then no, I think it's best to either send the horse to the real trainer (who does have experience actually training), or take lessons with the knowledgeable instructor. It's really hard to "un-train" the horse taught something in wrong way.

Personally, I'd not send my horses "to retrain" to someone just because he/she is my friend and I trust him/her.
She's a good rider... better than me (just don't tell her I said that...). Gypsie doesn't need more riding put on her, really. She's not a youngster, she knows her job... she's almost 16. She just needs to get her 'whoa' and flexing down better. Right now, she's fairly fit, I'd say... naturally, she stays pretty fit as a 'pasture puff', I never have to do much to get her back into shape.


Quote:
I think you should invest in a trainer and have he/she come out and help direct you in achieving these goals yourself. There is no better feeling than training your own horse and a trainer is more a trainer for you than the horse, since youll gain the knowledge to deal with these problems in the future, whether they be from your current horse or another one down the road.
Like I said before, I don't have the money to invest in a trainer... and I would like to say that my only experience with a trainer, who actually was a trainer who had worked at a big barn in New york somewhere, can't remember where, was a crap experience... The lady was working for a friend and I didn't like her on sight... she was too 'mouthy' and it was either her way or the highway. I never took a lesson from her or anything, but I rode with her on rails a few times and it wasn't enjoyable... she slapped the horse, kicked visciously, jerked on the horses mouth, and after I heard (from about five different people) that she tried to train a horse to lead by tieing it to the back of a truck and dragging it across the pasture... that really put me off. Not saying all trainers are like that, but well...
I am planning on posibly sending my gelding to a trainer when I get a job... if I ever find a job...






I am going to look into a liability waiver for her and her parents to sign stating that I can't be held liable for any injuries.
     

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