Frustrates the heck out of me!
 
 

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Frustrates the heck out of me!

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  • My friends she frustrates me
  • I love riding but it frustrates me

 
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    07-29-2011, 02:16 PM
  #1
Foal
Angry Frustrates the heck out of me!

I have a friend, and don't get me wrong, she is my VERY BEST friend, who rides and shows. She has been for most of her life now. She used to do western pleasure with her Gorgeous Appy, but he had to be put down last year due to cancer

So after that her parents went out and bought her a new (very expensive) horse. Her parents...well I hate to say it because they are such nice people, but they kind of spoil her. She gets a lot of things and opportunities and doesn't appreciate them. But anyways, she got this new horse and took up eventing. Here's the problem.

This horse was not always a jumping horse. He was a registered reining horse. The trainer that my friend bought him from took him and turned him into an eventer, and to say the least, he hates it. And he has no respect for my friend, which is her own fault. He doesn't ever listen to her. She has to carry a whip every time she is riding, but she won't use spurs?

Well one day she had a couple friends come over (I wasn't there so this is just what she told me, and I saw it after it happened) and she went out to feed the horses. Her horse has major food aggression problems, and when he was crowding her for the food but she wouldn't give it to him until he backed up, he grabbed her NECK with his TEETH!!! She was bleeding a lot and didn't want to "scare her friends" so instead of disciplining the horse for his awful behavior, SHE WENT INSIDE!!! He could have KILLED her if he had bit down hard enough!! She was ok beside a lot of blood and some bruising, but that is just ridiculous.

She wasn't ever really into riding and showing until I started doing it a couple years ago. And now that I have gotten my own horse that I am training and have such a good bond with, she is jealous. She never really has anything nice to say about my horse, and all she does is sit around and complain about her horse. Her mom wants me to come over and work with my friends horse, which I don't have a problem doing except for the fact that SHE should be doing it, not me. So I went over to her house one day and offered to help. But my friend kept putting it off and putting it off until her mom came out and asked me to do it, so I left my friend inside and went out to work with HER horses.

After a little while, she came out. She started babying her horse and said he looked off? I didn't see anything wrong with him, but whatever. All I was doing was lunging him, trying to figure out how well he knew voice commands and such. He had no respect for me or what I was asking him to do. He had no motivation to do anything, and just stood there with his ears back and he kept trying to BITE the lunging whip. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when my friend said he looked off and she wanted me to stop. So, once again, he got away with bad behavior.

Well, I just had to vent because it makes me so mad, and scared for my friend. She sits and talks like she's going to do something with him, but she hasn't done a single thing yet. I just don't know how to get the point across to her that her horse is DANGEROUS and has no respect for anybody and needs to be taught some manners.

If you have any advice on how I could get my fried to see that what is going on is dangerous in a polite way, please comment. But please DO NOT SAY ANYTHING RUDE OR NASTY, because she is still my best friend.
     
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    07-29-2011, 02:32 PM
  #2
Yearling
That's a tough situation. If it was me I would just tell her that if she doesn't start disciplining him or working with a trainer or SOMETHING that she is going to seriously hurt her. Possibly even kill her like you said. Then maybe offer to help her, if she is still willing to talk to you. I don't know I just think it's dangerous to let this happen and have no one say anything. Does her mom know? I'm guessing she does because she asked you to help..If she does I would talk to her if your worried about losing your friend or making her upset. Good luck I hope you figure it out
     
    07-29-2011, 02:40 PM
  #3
Foal
Thanks :) It's really tough because her parents want her to work with the horse, but technically speaking they can't go out and make her do it. When I offer to help, she gladly accepts, but when I come over to her house she wants to do everything BUT work with the horse, and I can't figure out why. I have gotten upset with her before because she just doesn't want to do anything, so I told her point blank what I thought, and she was not very happy about it.
     
    07-29-2011, 02:51 PM
  #4
Green Broke
It sounds to me like she was so used to her Appy who gave her no trouble that she doesn't really have a clue what to do with this one. If she is afraid she cannot make an effort.
There's not much you can do until she asks you.
     
    07-29-2011, 02:57 PM
  #5
Showing
All I going to say at some point she'll go jealous about you working with her horse (especially if the horse will listen/ride for you), and she'll get hard on you. If you wanna do something explain it to her parents that horse is dangerous and she needs something different (OR work with the trainer). Other than that nothing can be done I'm afraid.
     
    07-29-2011, 03:13 PM
  #6
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by XbaRR3lchickX    
Thanks :) It's really tough because her parents want her to work with the horse, but technically speaking they can't go out and make her do it. When I offer to help, she gladly accepts, but when I come over to her house she wants to do everything BUT work with the horse, and I can't figure out why. I have gotten upset with her before because she just doesn't want to do anything, so I told her point blank what I thought, and she was not very happy about it.
Maybe you can talk with her parents and come over and work with the horse when your friend is not there? I don't know if that would be a good idea though, because if she found out id imagine she'd be pretty upset.
     
    07-29-2011, 03:24 PM
  #7
Foal
Yes, i'm not sure what to do. I love working with horse, so I have no problem helping her as long as she follows through with it. After all, her horse should really respect and answer to her, but if I spent all the time doing it then I would form a bond with the horse, and she wouldn't? So in all reality, she is going to have to be the one to do it. The people that are helping me have offered to help her and her parents, but they haven't been too keen on it...I hate to say it, but it seems like they are going to have to learn the hard way.
     
    07-29-2011, 04:00 PM
  #8
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by XbaRR3lchickX    
Yes, i'm not sure what to do. I love working with horse, so I have no problem helping her as long as she follows through with it. After all, her horse should really respect and answer to her, but if I spent all the time doing it then I would form a bond with the horse, and she wouldn't? So in all reality, she is going to have to be the one to do it. The people that are helping me have offered to help her and her parents, but they haven't been too keen on it...I hate to say it, but it seems like they are going to have to learn the hard way.
I know she's your best friend and all, but like you said she will probably end up learning it the hard way. Maybe you can offer to give her free 'lessons" then she will kind of have to listen to you and not just stop because he 'looks off'.
     
    07-31-2011, 12:58 PM
  #9
Foal
Last night her Mom asked my Mom if I would be willing to come over and help and show her what to do with the horses. She has a horse that she bought for herself a while back that is extremely spooky that I have helped her work with before. She wants to be able to get him back to the point of riding like he was a few years ago. It's funny how my friends MOM (that does not ride/know hardly anything about horses) has more motivation to fix the problem than my friend. I'm not sure if my friend knows about this yet, though, so who knows what's going to happen
     
    07-31-2011, 02:19 PM
  #10
Banned
I agree with Kitten

I have been through this sort of scenario and in the end it will be you that will be the scapegoat.

What you do is go to her parents. Tell them that while you COULD work with her horse that in your opinion it needs a professional trainer that IS PAID to take anything your friend wishes to dish out.

Take any other route that I can guarantee it that it will lead to huge bad feelings and potential injury to SOMEONE.
     

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