Giving me the Cold Shoulder
   

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Giving me the Cold Shoulder

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  • Horse walk away when enter stall
  • Why dont you let me in, you're giving me the cold shoulder

 
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    03-07-2011, 07:32 PM
  #1
Foal
Giving me the Cold Shoulder

Hello All
I could really use some help with my mare . The past year I have not been able to spend as much time with her as I had liked to because I was boarding her at my parents house who lived over an hour away . I moved 4 months ago and now I can finally have her at my own home . Her and I are supposed to be barrel racing either this year or the next ( hopefully this year if her and I work out our issues together ) Anyway I never know if she will let Me pet her or not . Sometimes I will step into her stall and she will let me rub her head , put her on a lead and brush her and pick her hooves . BUT.. then sometimes soon as she See's her stall door opening she will turn around , her rear facing me and then turn her head and look at me as if to say " MY STALL,MY RULES" . Yesterday morning she was an angel , but last night she gave me the cold shoulder and I ended up standing in her stall for about 10 minutes , till finally she approached me on her own . Then this morning she is an angel again , She let me catch her in her stall , I took her to the round pen so she could get some exercise ,the only trouble this morning was When it was time for me to put her back into her stall she would not let me catch her , So I had to run her 3 times to the left and 3 to the right till finally she latched on and followed me straight to her stall . Now this evening I just came in from the barn , I go into her stall to brush her and she turns her rump to me , I walk around her stall and every time I get close to her neck she turns away , I softly say her name and reach for her but she is not interested , and acted cranky with me . I ended up standing in her stall for 15 minutes tonight , I ignored her and looked straight ahead , I basically tried reverse sociology and that seemed to help alot , once she realized I was going to ignore her she began to lick her lips , lightly bob her head and finally I felt her head press against my arm and then I could do whatever I wanted with her after that . I don't know what t do with her . Sometimes I think she is upset for me leaving her for so long at my parents and me not being with her as much as I was before , Sometimes she acts grouchy and annoyed at me for even trying to be her friend . This morning in the round pen her and I had a nice time , she was happy and silly acting , followed me all over the place and pranced around me . She is so confusing and I don't know what to do . Do any of you have any tips for me . I WOULD APPRECIATE IT
     
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    03-07-2011, 09:44 PM
  #2
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny    
Hello All
I could really use some help with my mare . The past year I have not been able to spend as much time with her as I had liked to because I was boarding her at my parents house who lived over an hour away . I moved 4 months ago and now I can finally have her at my own home . Her and I are supposed to be barrel racing either this year or the next ( hopefully this year if her and I work out our issues together ) Anyway I never know if she will let Me pet her or not . Sometimes I will step into her stall and she will let me rub her head , put her on a lead and brush her and pick her hooves . BUT.. then sometimes soon as she See's her stall door opening she will turn around , her rear facing me and then turn her head and look at me as if to say " MY STALL,MY RULES" . Yesterday morning she was an angel , but last night she gave me the cold shoulder and I ended up standing in her stall for about 10 minutes , till finally she approached me on her own . Then this morning she is an angel again , She let me catch her in her stall , I took her to the round pen so she could get some exercise ,the only trouble this morning was When it was time for me to put her back into her stall she would not let me catch her , So I had to run her 3 times to the left and 3 to the right till finally she latched on and followed me straight to her stall . Now this evening I just came in from the barn , I go into her stall to brush her and she turns her rump to me , I walk around her stall and every time I get close to her neck she turns away , I softly say her name and reach for her but she is not interested , and acted cranky with me . I ended up standing in her stall for 15 minutes tonight , I ignored her and looked straight ahead , I basically tried reverse sociology and that seemed to help alot , once she realized I was going to ignore her she began to lick her lips , lightly bob her head and finally I felt her head press against my arm and then I could do whatever I wanted with her after that . I don't know what t do with her . Sometimes I think she is upset for me leaving her for so long at my parents and me not being with her as much as I was before , Sometimes she acts grouchy and annoyed at me for even trying to be her friend . This morning in the round pen her and I had a nice time , she was happy and silly acting , followed me all over the place and pranced around me . She is so confusing and I don't know what to do . Do any of you have any tips for me . I WOULD APPRECIATE IT
This isn't difficult.. she's being a horse. You've not been around her for a very long time and she's pushing you and testing you to see who is dominant. I would stop babying that horse, get her into a round pen and re-establish the rules. You can't leave a horse for a year cause it's inconvenient for you and then turn around and want all her attention when it is convenient. That's not very far to the horse. When you don't want her you don't visit her but when you do want to, you expect her to be very happy about it. Essentially you just need to start working with her again and tune her up. Nothing more nothing less. She's a horse, you are new to her and she's trying to figure out the rules. As for the rump thing, that's funny to me.... she didn't want your attention, she didn't want you brushing her and she made it obvious by turning away. Your horse is in a stall, it can't just walk away from you, it HAS to turn it's bum to you to go away from you.
     
    03-07-2011, 10:05 PM
  #3
Trained
It sounds like she is calling the shots here...you HAVE to decide who is going to be the leader in this relationship or SHE will, and her behavior may escalate from not just turning her rump but backing into you, or kicking out, or biting.

You need to teach her to yield her hips (on lead), so that when you step into her stall and she tries to give you her butt, all you have to do is look at her hip or flick a rope toward it, and she will move it away.
     
    03-07-2011, 10:31 PM
  #4
Super Moderator
Actually, for the time being, you aren't doing so badly. I don't like that you enter her stall and she puts her rump to you, but your using the passive ignoring technique was interesting. I don't think you would do this forever, but as you get to know each other, it doesn't hurt to experiment. And you work in the round pen is good.

The thing is, I do NOT beleive horses hold a grudge for you not being around, or you keeping her at your parents' house. That is just not true, to put if bluntly. But it may be true that you don't yet know each other, so a little experiementation will not be a waste of time. YOU, however, need to silence the guilt voices in your head. Otherwise, there will be too much noise going on in there for you to observe and hear what's goind on NOW in your mare's mind.

If the wait and ignore reverse psych thingy makes no change, then I would mix it up a bit. It's not that she is actually being aggressive, it's just that she doesn't see your being there as important enough to give it her full attention.
So, next time you are standing by the stall door and she won't even look at you or is hanging at the far side, make a little noise, like scuffling your shoe or tapping the door. When she looks at you, stop. When she loses that thought and goes away mentally, make a noise again. When she is ON you, you do nothing. When she puts her attention elsewhere, you interupt it. Do as little as possible to interupt. Just haveing her flick her ear at you, you stop. When she goes "away", and you start making a tiny interuption, give her a chance to come to you before you make the interuption bigger.

If you feel safe, do this inside her stall, but I might very discreetly have a whip by my leg, if I had the slightest feeling that she might charge. If she turns toward you and comes to you, pet her once or twice, (no big cuddling as it seems she is not a cuddler) and leave her alone, leave the stall .
     
    03-07-2011, 11:39 PM
  #5
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by OneHotFuzz    
This isn't difficult.. she's being a horse. You've not been around her for a very long time and she's pushing you and testing you to see who is dominant. I would stop babying that horse, get her into a round pen and re-establish the rules. You can't leave a horse for a year cause it's inconvenient for you and then turn around and want all her attention when it is convenient. That's not very far to the horse. When you don't want her you don't visit her but when you do want to, you expect her to be very happy about it. Essentially you just need to start working with her again and tune her up. Nothing more nothing less. She's a horse, you are new to her and she's trying to figure out the rules. As for the rump thing, that's funny to me.... she didn't want your attention, she didn't want you brushing her and she made it obvious by turning away. Your horse is in a stall, it can't just walk away from you, it HAS to turn it's bum to you to go away from you.

Since you couldnt be more wrong about my horse being inconvenient and not wanted here are some details for you to better understand the situation . I have always wanted her , always cared about her and always wished I could have her living with me , For the year my husband and I HAD to live in military houseing due to him being in the Army , If you want to throw a pitty party for my pitbull and coondog then go ahead becuase they wasnt allowed to live in a 2 bedroom apartment on an Army Base either and the Army M.PS actually sent my pitbull to a shelter because I couldnt find him a home in 5 days , . It was never inconvenient for me , if I didnt want her I would have sold her and not sent her to my father's pastures . Im just happy that I have her back now . The entire time she was at my dads she was never worked except for the times I would get to visit her . I wish I could have done more with her but without me spilling my entire personal life on here I will just say ALOT has happened that kept me from getting to see her as much as I wanted to .
     
    03-08-2011, 12:04 AM
  #6
Foal
Well that's an unfortunate situation. But you're horse doesn't care why you weren't there, or that you love her a lot. You haven't been around consistently in a long time. You and her must re-establish your relationship with one another. Stop worry about your horse being upset that you haven't been around, push away ay guilty feelings you might have, because your horse does not care. They don't hold grudges. Just get her out of that stall and start working with her, get her back on track with her groundwork and regain her trust and respect. Then you'll be golden. It only does harm to hang in the past and not move forward.
     
    03-08-2011, 12:06 AM
  #7
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by OneHotFuzz    
Well that's an unfortunate situation. But you're horse doesn't care why you weren't there, or that you love her a lot. You haven't been around consistently in a long time. You and her must re-establish your relationship with one another. Stop worry about your horse being upset that you haven't been around, push away ay guilty feelings you might have, because your horse does not care. They don't hold grudges. Just get her out of that stall and start working with her, get her back on track with her groundwork and regain her trust and respect. Then you'll be golden. It only does harm to hang in the past and not move forward.

I know they don't hold grudges , but sometimes when looking into those big brown eyes it seems like they do . Im sorry if I seemed rude but it bothers me that I was away and she doesnt understand why .
     
    03-08-2011, 12:30 AM
  #8
Super Moderator
Some horses aren't cuddly types. Kind of like people who don't like to be hugged. Just be as close as you can without triggering her feelings of irritation. I like the way you are experimenting with her. In time, you may need to push her a bit, if she won't come around on her own. I mean, push her to the point where she must make a choice to do something. If she gets stuck in one place. Is she is stuck with butt away from you, push a little, just to remind her that you are there and wait to see if she'll choose to do something different.
     
    03-08-2011, 12:33 AM
  #9
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny    
i know they don't hold grudges , but sometimes when looking into those big brown eyes it seems like they do . Im sorry if I seemed rude but it bothers me that I was away and she doesnt understand why .
Thats ok, I was a bit abrupt too. What you need to do is forget all of that. How old is she? Chances are you can look at that year and go "I gave my horse a year off to just be a horse and have a break from everything" to her it was probably the best vacation ever. She got to eat all she wanted and never had to do any work. So now you are back and you gotta ease her back into working with you. So let go of all that guilt you feel, cause it's not helping you or her. This is a new part of your horses life and it's your job to re-establish everything so that she doesn't become a "problem horse" who ends up getting sold at auction to the KB. You see it so many times with horses it's unreal.

There's this boarder at my barn whose got a older arabian who was "abused in his past". Ok fine... This horse was a great guy but then this girl got her and ALL she does is let that horse treat her like a mare. When she "rides" him she never tells him where to go, never corrects him and always praises him. I've been doing spins in the middle of the ring on Fuzz and she'll let him walk right up to me and interrupt my spin. I've also seen her let her horse walk out in front of team ropers while they were doing a practice run. It's pretty bad. So a few days ago I was working with one of my friend's geldings who was "bolting" (which he wasn't lol....) and this girl said "you want to give my horse a try?" and i'm always up for a new experience, so I said sure, signed the waiver and up I went. The second I asked that horse to move I knew he was going to be difficult. I walked him down to the end of the ring and he got "spooky" at a ropers cow on a quad that's down there. I asked him to go over to it and he started threatening to rear. I told him enough and squeezed him towards it, then he threatened to buck. I tell him again, go over there, everything is fine, you've walked past this thing 50 billion times. He tried to spin me out of the seat. I decided, enough was enough, I didn't want to get hurt cause this horse decided to throw itself over backwards in protest. It took me five minutes to get him to stop spinning and trying to buck and rear long enough for me to get down. Then I ended up lunging him. Man this horse was BAD. He wouldn't move away from me, kept turning to challenge me. It took me ten more minutes to get him moving a circle around me without stopping constantly. Then got him going the other way (another ten minutes). Once I felt he had actually learned something that wasn't "if i'm a jerk she'll just get off and give me back to the person who lets me do what ever I want" I gave him back to her and told her right up front that the horse had been babied far to much and it was a danger now.

So the moral of my slight rant (lol yes this does tie back to your comment x) ) is don't worry about the past. That girl babied the horse so much because "Oh well he has a history of being abused" that this horse treats her like a mare! If you worry about the past and don't focus on right now, correcting bad behavior and training your mare back up, she could end up like that gelding, pushing you around, biting you for cookies, running you over and only doing what he wants to do.
     
    03-12-2011, 04:32 PM
  #10
Foal
To OnehotFuzz and Everyone else . I did not want to reply to any of you with negative news , so I worked Shiny for the past several days , by day 2 she fought me at the round pen gate but I managed to get her butt in there anyways , I think that alone showed her I mean business and im calling the shots now , I thought being hard on her would make her resent me being around her but now I realized she did that before I worked her . Now that I am working her she approached me every time I want her , I even took a little dare and jumped on her bareback today( first time anyone been on her in a year ) I took her a few spins around the arena . And she seemed pleased to have me on her . Didn't fight me once . After the ride when I turned her loose she ran straight to a jollyball and kicked it toward me . She has not wanted to play with me in soo long so of course that made me emotional and im glad no one was around when that happened . Sorry I could not get into more detail about everything , im pressed for time . I will try to write more later .







Quote:
Originally Posted by OneHotFuzz    
Thats ok, I was a bit abrupt too. What you need to do is forget all of that. How old is she? Chances are you can look at that year and go "I gave my horse a year off to just be a horse and have a break from everything" to her it was probably the best vacation ever. She got to eat all she wanted and never had to do any work. So now you are back and you gotta ease her back into working with you. So let go of all that guilt you feel, cause it's not helping you or her. This is a new part of your horses life and it's your job to re-establish everything so that she doesn't become a "problem horse" who ends up getting sold at auction to the KB. You see it so many times with horses it's unreal.

There's this boarder at my barn whose got a older arabian who was "abused in his past". Ok fine... This horse was a great guy but then this girl got her and ALL she does is let that horse treat her like a mare. When she "rides" him she never tells him where to go, never corrects him and always praises him. I've been doing spins in the middle of the ring on Fuzz and she'll let him walk right up to me and interrupt my spin. I've also seen her let her horse walk out in front of team ropers while they were doing a practice run. It's pretty bad. So a few days ago I was working with one of my friend's geldings who was "bolting" (which he wasn't lol....) and this girl said "you want to give my horse a try?" and i'm always up for a new experience, so I said sure, signed the waiver and up I went. The second I asked that horse to move I knew he was going to be difficult. I walked him down to the end of the ring and he got "spooky" at a ropers cow on a quad that's down there. I asked him to go over to it and he started threatening to rear. I told him enough and squeezed him towards it, then he threatened to buck. I tell him again, go over there, everything is fine, you've walked past this thing 50 billion times. He tried to spin me out of the seat. I decided, enough was enough, I didn't want to get hurt cause this horse decided to throw itself over backwards in protest. It took me five minutes to get him to stop spinning and trying to buck and rear long enough for me to get down. Then I ended up lunging him. Man this horse was BAD. He wouldn't move away from me, kept turning to challenge me. It took me ten more minutes to get him moving a circle around me without stopping constantly. Then got him going the other way (another ten minutes). Once I felt he had actually learned something that wasn't "if i'm a jerk she'll just get off and give me back to the person who lets me do what ever I want" I gave him back to her and told her right up front that the horse had been babied far to much and it was a danger now.

So the moral of my slight rant (lol yes this does tie back to your comment x) ) is don't worry about the past. That girl babied the horse so much because "Oh well he has a history of being abused" that this horse treats her like a mare! If you worry about the past and don't focus on right now, correcting bad behavior and training your mare back up, she could end up like that gelding, pushing you around, biting you for cookies, running you over and only doing what he wants to do.
     

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