First things first, I'm not a professional by any means, but tying an antsy horse's feet at all doesn't seem like a good idea. I don't know who this guy is, but he sounds like an idiot (just my opinion-- I've dealt with idiot farriers in the past). While there can be any number of farriers in an area, finding one that a) knows what they're doing and b)doesn't treat you like an ass is hard to find.
Also, you should feel free to ask questions. If you thought what he was doing was a bad idea, you should express this concern. If he takes it personally, you don't want to be dealing with him. Just today I was asking my farrier why my horse's heel was so short, and what I could do about it. Asking questions just means you want to know what's best for you and your horse. Being a new horse owner, it's important to continually learn and expand your knowledge-- just like with everything else in life, you can never know all there is to know about horses (though it's possible to know a lot).
As for getting her trust back, that will be a little harder. The key is to take it slow. Start at her shoulders, just petting and rubbing and talking to her. It's important for her to know that, while you are in charge, you're not a threat. Eventually you can start working your way down her leg until she's confident that you're not going to try to tie her leg up again. Just like with people, it can sometimes take a while to gain back a horse's trust in you once it's gone.
As for the "letting the horse win" bit, that's true-- but don't try to be a hero. By losing her trust by trying to "win", you've ultimately lost (that makes sense in my head).
Just take things slow... and I'd recommend finding a new farrier if possible. If not (as is the case sometimes), be sure to express your concerns!
Impressive Wild Angel- Ginger Happy Go Lucky- Duncan Little Boy Blue- MellowSweetwaters Eqyptian King- Sam