I do not have a clue what you are talking about in most of your post. It does not sound like anyone that is an effective trainer that I know of -- either the positive or the negative methods you try to explain.
|"all too often one also sees the overpowering, overly domineering, always getting after the horse approach too, which is just as dangerous and damaging."|
|"I see these overly restricted horses all the time. Sure they maybe 'safe' but they are also insensitive, dull, and stressed (internalized). They are the same horses that suddenly take to aggression towards the other horses, get stomach ulcers, start cribbing and weaving, the list goes on. Nobody listens and nobody cares."|
The closest I could come would be the people that 'play' the Parelli games ad nauseam by picking and picking at horses to get them to do the games just perfectly. I have found so many of these horses to be mad, aggressive and hate people to the point that when a horse is advertised as 'Parelli level ??? Horse' I do not even look at them for a customer. Even those do not get ulcers, crib, weave and pick up other vices that actually come from poor stabling, feeding and horse-keeping practices.
I think you are over-thinking how horses think and are attributing human and dog type psychological problems that horses do not even get close to exhibiting. I do not think any of these behaviors you say happen have actually been observed or are related to any real life experiences. They sound like 'would-be theories' to me.
What is an actual fact that comes from years of re-training many, many aggressive horses that have severely injured their handlers / riders is that your should NEVER pick or peck at a horse or bang it around enough to just barely make it mind. You need to get after a horse really hard for actually doing something really wrong and then YOU LEAVE IT ALONE. You then treat it like any other horse. If you have gotten after a horse severely enough to be effective, you never have to get after the horse more than once or twice. [The second mis-deed is usually only half-hearted.] If you have to get after a horse more than that, you are not doing it correctly and are totally ineffective and are probably just 'pecking' on the horse.
Horses handled correctly from the beginning just do not need to be 'gotten after' and previously spoiled horses are 'happy as a clam' once they understand how the 'herd structure' works with you and know that you are the undisputed leader of the herd. All of this other theory of yours just does not exist if a trainer / handler is effective and does it right. It has nothing to do with 'dominating' or 'bullying' a horse. It has nothing to do with instilling fear or dominance. It has everything to do with respect and it has everything to do with effectively teaching a horse its place in the pecking order in your herd.
The only other thing I see that I completely agree with is that anyone working with a horse should be quiet, deliberate, never lose their temper and never make a lot of noise or make big motions. Scaring one is not going to fix it any way and any discipline done in anger is bad and usually ineffective, too.
If you notice, I use the word 'effective' a lot. It describes everything a good trainer does when they interact with a horse. It means that person has learned to apply the right amount of pressure at the right time, has 'backed off' at the right time and has 'effectively' gotten the right response.
It is something that the OP and her horse both desperately need to learn before he hurts someone.