I am currently having the same problem with my gelding (if you read the thread I did Won't Lower Head For Bit) you can hopefully find some answers. My horse also has an extremely good disposition. That's what he was bred for. He doesn't act up for the halter, he doesn't act up with my hand over his face, and he didn't act up when he realized I was putting the headstall on, and the bit wasn't going to enter his mouth.
My horse is green broke, but that's not the problem, as he doesn't care about what I do to his ears, poll, anything like that. The people I got him from, must have done something to him to make hate the bit.
But she does lower head for your hand on her poll, and the halter? Becuase if not, she probably just needs work in all those areas. Try with just the headstall, it could be bothering her.
But I agree, lose the ropes. You don't need ropes to get a horses respect, which is a lot of the problem too. Go to this website Natural Horse Supply
and look at their articles on horse training. That's what I used to get my gelding to lower his head to my hand, and halter.