Hi Luvmygelding. After reading your post, I get the idea you're a novice at horse training? So my response is in that vein. Please don't be offended if you're not - just the feeling I got from what you wrote.
Originally Posted by luvmygelding
Anyway we're having some disrespect issues.
What does respect/disrespect mean to you? Might seem a 'no brainer' but it is an ambiguous term. For eg. For many, it means unconditional obedience or subservience. To me, it starts with understanding & communication, respect and consideration FOR the horse, and obedience from the horse is just one of the things that comes out of it.
He HATES and I mean HATES to lunge! He will just throw a fit. I try to keep going and not let him win,
I'd be working *towards* him feeling like he's 'winning', not against it!
That's not to say you're left the loser - training should be a win/win type affair, not a confrontation. So one 'ingredient' of that is to make games easy enough for him to get Right more often than not, so you can build gradually on success.
Aside from 'respect' & whatever that means to you, what exactly are you wanting to teach him with lunging & how are you going about it? I find specific exercises are far easier for people & horses to succeed with if the human has clear & specific goals. Has he been taught to lunge previously? If not, how are you teaching him? If so, if he's green with little training, remember that horses don't generalise well, so just because he's been taught how to do it in one situation with one person, doesn't mean to say he actually does know how to do it anywhere for anyone.
There's also the question of whether you know how to lunge & how to teach him, whether you're being clear & consistent, whether you've gained his trust & he is confident of his safety with you, even when you get energetic.
he just doesn't want to obey. ... As long as I keep on him both of those are pretty under control, but if he goes a few days I have to start all over! Will he always be like this?!
Re 'generalising' lessons, it will take repetition in different situations, practicing & being reinforced for *right* behaviour, for him to really learn what is expected of him.
If a person is too confrontational &/or mainly focussed on 'correcting' what's wrong rather than *encouraging* what's 'right', then horses can often still be 'browbeaten' into it. But they'll do it with resistance & It's also hard to teach refined specifics if you're just trying to force it & the horse has no interest in trying to learn more, or isn't taught 'right' behaviour. If you do it with a focus on positively reinforcing(rewarding) the behaviours you want, working gradually forward from a strong foundation - not expecting high school responses from a kindergarten student, he should not only learn more quickly, but develop a *desire* to do as you ask, so you won't have to keep nagging him about stuff.
I would suggest you find a good, considerate trainer to work with you & show you how to 'work' him. It's also one thing to learn how to work with horses on a seasoned, well trained 'schoolmaster' & quite another thing to try to learn when the horse is a beginner too.