I would start from square one with some groundwork to figure out how much respect he actually does have. See how easy it is to move him out of your space forward, backwards, left and right. Gaining control of his feet puts you firmly on the path to gaining his respect. Don't limit practicing this to a "lesson time"; horses learn from every interaction with you, not only structured training time. Consistency is key.
Whenever you're around him, insist that he not crowd you, and that he move around you to suit your convenience, not you moving around him to suit his. If he's as pushy as it sounds, you may need to carry a dressage whip or NH-style stick to back up your requests at first until the memo makes it to his head that he isn't the big enchilada any more. No need to get mean about it, just firmly insist that your space is yours, and that his space is yours too. Ask, suggest, tell, and when you get a reaction release all pressure to reward. Just this will likely go a long way to making farrier visits run more smoothly.
Is the horse all right with you lifting his feet? Do they pop up immediately upon your cue? If not, practice until they do. Practice holding the hooves between your legs, the way the farrier will, as well as putting his feet up on a jack. Hold him there for longer and longer periods of time to acclimate him to it. Thump the bottom of his shoes with the hoof pick to make sure that he's comfortable with the nailing process. Any other thing that you can think of that the farrier will do to him, practice and prepare. Set him up for success. Practice every day; make the mock farrier visit a part of your daily routine.
I'll bet within a week of working on basic respect as well as the farrier prep, he's better on the ground all the way around, and a lot more fun to deal with day to day.
I can deeply sympathize with your farrier; although I agree with you that the 2X4 suggestion is a bit extreme. It's the job of the owner to have the horse prepared for the farrier or vet; many farriers and vets will charge higher prices for dealing with overly fussy horses, or will flatly refuse to deal with some. The farrier's job is difficult enough without having to add a pushy, fussy patient into the mix.