The other thing too is that so many people think "Oh my horse won't load" and go about it as it will be very hard, the horse won't load.
While I don't agree with thinking about auras and special colors, I DO agree with having a positive attitude. So many people set their horses up for failure by having a negative attitude about something. Be confidant, cheerful and very matter of fact. I do believe that horses can pick up on your energy and feelings, particularily if you are having a bad day, they respond to it.
Your post is full of desperation and anger- I would def try trailer loading when you are in a GOOD mood, because your horse will respond much better to you.
Spent a whole hour today laying in a pasture, waiting for a sparkling vampire to show up. Alas, I woke up and looked over, only to find a mound of horse crap. Sigh.