Originally Posted by Cowgirls Boots
Today we put a chain over her nose (only thing she does listen to) and my boyfriend gave her a quick shank (nothing hard) even when she started leaning back. Well she flung herself backwards and reared up on us then dropped back down to the ground shaking.
I think that this is probably a big part of the cause of the problem. Please, don't take it as an attack on you personally. It's perfectly natural though often difficult to admit that you're doing things to your horse out of fear. I can almost guarantee though that continuing along with practices like this will only add to your problems and maybe even fulfill those prophecies about getting hurt. It seems clear that you have a lot of fear and anxiety about handling this horse. It's like being stuck in some nightmare that you don't know how to get out of. You don't want to continue on what you're doing but maybe don't know what else to do?
I don't know how to tell you what you should do, but I can tell you what I did when I was afraid. I used my fear to spur me on, to seek out the teachers and the knowledge that I needed to turn my uncertainty into certainty. As Buck Brannaman put it, fear is looking into the darkness and not seeing. For about a year and a half I constantly pored over DVDs, books, and went to clinics when I could so that I could get it all straight in my head and finally be able to approach any horse without fear and be effective. Somewhere along the way I realized that I was more effective when I was able to just drop my ideas of the horse's past and my worry about what was going to happen in the future, forget all that knowledge and just BE HERE NOW, and as soon as I did that the horses all got a lot better. That may not be real helpful right now, but you can think of it maybe as a 'signpost' a little farther up the road that points in the direction you'd want to go someday.
For the moment, develop an insatiable hunger for knowledge. You can use your fear as a tool to give you that energy to learn and maybe even make this experience into an ultimate success. All depends on how bad you want it. Or alternately, you could just get rid of the mare.
(wow that got long lol)