When I was in Germany, I visited some barns that were a bit like horse factories, but many of the professionals that I met there interacted lovingly with their horses. There were maybe 2 trainers who were aloof, but a majority of them patted and rubbed their horses and fed them copious amounts of treats.
I was a working student at DG Bar Ranch, one of the top dutch warmblood breeding facilities in america, and Willy Arts, the owner and trainer of the facility spoils his horses. He may not be as affectionate to every single horse, but he definitely treats his show horses well.
I've ridden in clinics and at shows with many elite dressage riders, and most of them are very affectionate with the horses.
I dont believe that a well loved horse cant be a top show horse. If you've ever been to the young rider championships, you'll see some outstanding horses who are spoiled rotten by their young owners. I know from personal experience that you can have a loving relationship with your horse and maintain a successful show career. My horse is my baby, and we're also ranked highly in the competitive dressage world.