How do I tell her? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 12 Old 02-16-2010, 11:45 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,010
• Horses: 3
How do I tell her?

I have someone I'm giving lessons to. She wants to show beginner novice this year in western pleasure. She rides once per week, but honestly? She's got a long way to go. I'm trying to teach her the ideas of steering, helping her teach her horse to neck rein, etc.

The problem is, is that she rides this horse once per week. This horse needs some serious work. She gets away with murder, and you really have to ride this horse. I was on her for about 15 minutes last week, and my legs are killing me!

The mare does know somethings. She jogs pretty easily, she just needs some consistency - which she obviously isn't getting because of a novice rider and lack of riding.

Simply, I don't believe that they'll be ready unless she really commits to riding 6 days per week, which is hard because she lives 40 minutes away from the barn. Or, she could send her to a trainer, or sell her and get a push button horse. She doesn't want to sell the horse because she knows the horse, and she knows what she has with her.

She's not looking for big time showing, but she really thinks she can go out there and she wants to do something - or so she's lead me to believe. Beginner classes around here are tough, and walk jog classes are tougher (with all them fancy BNT's around these parts ;D).

I could go to an auction tomorrow and find her an better horse for her, who has more try and less 'F YOU!'. I just don't want to offend her, or make her feel like crap - but she needs to commit, or upgrade to a better, 100% broke horse - and I know that a horse will lose tuning over time, but trying to fix an attitude when that attitude isn't worked everyday is **** near impossible.

Sorry for the novel 8O... So how do I tell her that she needs to up the commitment, or ditch the show idea and wait for next year (or longer)?

Honestly, I'm not even sure how she's getting to the shows... My trailer will be full this year, between the yearlings and my gelding. So maybe I'm just looking too far into the future.

I've got a lovely bunch of Neuticals,
There they are all standing in a row

Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
PaintsPwn is offline  
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post #2 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 12:14 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay area, FL
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Tell her that! Say "as much as YOU want this, I simply don't think your horse wants the same thing" or at least right now etc, etc. Tell her that with more work, she and {insert horse name} could do very well, but at the present time its just too soon to be having show aspirations.

If you think she'd do better on a lesson horse at your barn, say so. See if the BO (are you the BO? lol) would be willing to let her ride in a show with that horse who is more suited to her abilities as a rider.
justsambam08 is offline  
post #3 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 12:25 AM
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Nevada City
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I agree with the above. You need to just tell her in a tactful way, that neither she nor the horse is ready right now, but if that is what she really wants, that a, b, and c are going to need to happen first, and try to help her find a solution that works for everybody involved. I have a client right now, who's horse has a big "f u" attitude as well, and honestly needs to get out at least 3 or 4 days a week for actual work, and I have had to repeatedly tell the owner that in the one day a week she wants me to come out and work the horse, that I will not be able to "turn the horse into a good husband horse" like she wants, and that as is, there is no way she'll be able to sell him. It wasn't easy to do, because I didn't want to lose her as a client, but at the same time, she had set unrealistic goals for the horse, and needed to be told what was truly realistic. Good luck, and hopefully you can help her successfully reach her goals.
dressagebelle is offline  
post #4 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 12:38 AM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Northern Utah
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You can tell her once but if she ignores you then you need to just let her make her own mistakes.

There's nothing like the Rockies in the springtime... Nothing like the freedom in the air... And there ain't nothing better than draggin calves to the fire and there's nothing like the smell of burning hair. -Brenn Hill
kevinshorses is offline  
post #5 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 12:39 AM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: secret mountain valley
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Good advice so far, and I agree. Maybe point out to her too, that if she tries to push the mare into something she's not ready for yet it could be a terrible experience for both of them and potentially sour her mare for shows in the future. As usual, I agree with Kevin's advice as well.
tealamutt is offline  
post #6 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 01:05 AM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: British Columbia, Canada
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Definitely, just tell her what you told us. I hate to suggest taking away one of your clients but, is there a barn closer to where she lives that she could keep her horse at? 40 minutes is a pretty long drive to the barn, and makes me doubt that she'll ever commit to riding more than once per week.
Carleen is offline  
post #7 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 01:23 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Indiana
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She does have other barns closer to her, but they're not as inexpensive as the barn she's at, and she's been loyal to that barn, and they've helped her out a lot in sticky situations.

I'm so happy with all of the advice I got, and I think I will have a real heart to heart with her this weekend. It's not fair to her, the horse or myself to set them up for failure.

Justbambam; I was going to get her to come over and ride Cowboy when the weather clears (lack of indoor!), and I was going to see - if they got along - if she'd like to show him in beginner and amateur classes. That way, he gets points at paint shows and at PAC events, and she gets to show on a horse who knows the job. That way, she can feel what it's supposed to feel like, gain a bit of confidence on a broke horse, and go and deal with her stubborn equine and perhaps start winning the games her horse is throwing at her!

I do trust Cowboy with beginners. The first kid he ever had on him was my second cousin, who'd never ridden a horse (she's a promising rider if only my aunt would pay for lessons!!!) And that horse listened to this little 60lb girl like a pro was on his back n___n Not that I ever left their side but she was giving him all the cues! Then there was another woman who rode him who barely rode horses at all, and her comments were "It's bizarre riding a horse that actually listens to you!" You should see that poor horse when my mom gets on him. "WTF are you doing? I'm just going to jog... o__o On second thought, let's walk."

Ahem. Enough horse bragging. BUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! It's so much better hearing it from people who've actually dealt with this situation! I agree Kevinshorses, I've had enough 'told you then, told ya that, told ya so' moments to make me save my breath. I think she'll listen though. I'll be sure to post back with an update after next week.

I've got a lovely bunch of Neuticals,
There they are all standing in a row

Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
PaintsPwn is offline  
post #8 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 06:01 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 4,510
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Boohoo. The closest we've ever been to the farm is 25-30 minutes away - and that's living at my parents house on the outskirts of the city. When we lived downtown, it was more like 40-45 minutes away.

We go virtually every single day. And we're not even show riders! We just go to ride in snowbanks!

The commitment is either there or it isn't - distance shouldn't be an issue. Me and Shay-la are eager to learn about Dressage, so we are now driving 40 minutes, twice a week, to volunteer as barn help and get lessons. On top of already going to the farm the other days of the week.

The distance arguement bothers me - a lot. Unless you live 2 hours away, buy a nice gas efficient car, or carpool with someone. We STILL only spend $200 a month in gas for one vehicle - which really isn't much at all (that's ALL gas, going to work and horses). Are you REALLY saving time or money because your horse is 10 minutes closer????

However, I tend to be very "matter of fact" (some people call it rude), so I just tell them straight. We have a 14 year old girl that rides with us, and I have told her several times, in no uncertain terms, that seeing her pony once every two weeks is not acceptable, and that she knows we go out every day and that SHE needs to get on the phone and call us.

What's the worst that can happen? She gets mad and stops riding? I don't care what level she's showing at, she needs to understand that commitment is necessary. It's not fair to her, you OR her horse to be a once a week rider and expect to get somewhere. In my experience, once a week riders could spend the next five years training and be about as far as someone who rode every day for a month.

I hope God tells her to smash her computer with a sledgehammer.

MacabreMikolaj is offline  
post #9 of 12 Old 02-17-2010, 06:51 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ft. Worth, Texas
Posts: 277
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Maybe you can suggest she go watch a local show so she gets the "feel" of what showing is about. Then she can decide if she wants to put in the effort to get ready to show or be content with riding for the simple pleasure of it.
Ridehorses99 is offline  
post #10 of 12 Old 02-18-2010, 12:27 AM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Western US
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I think your on the right track with the advice given. I am not sure how old this person is, but it truly does take a serious commitment to get into that show ring and get it done.
I also like that you wanted to get the gal on a horse that knows the job. Being able to feel how you ask (correctly)for the horse to do a specific thing and have them do it correctly will help her with her riding. At least that is how I feel. You could also suggest that she put the horse into some sort of training (if she can afford it) so that the horse is getting consistant work.
Hopefuly she wont be offended about the whole thing. As another person stated do it tactfuly and if she doesn't take it seriously or constructively ~ Well then Kevin is correct she may have to learn the hard way.
Hope everyone's thoughts will help you...
HalfPass is offline  

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