how to find a happy medium? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 16 Old 07-10-2010, 01:05 PM
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I'm with Marecare on this: the bolded words show that you need to work on being an emotionally fit leader/eliminating harshness. Any pickiness/bullying will set back your relationship, guaranteed.
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post #12 of 16 Old 07-10-2010, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Northern View Post
I'm with Marecare on this: the bolded words show that you need to work on being an emotionally fit leader/eliminating harshness. Any pickiness/bullying will set back your relationship, guaranteed.
Thats kind of what I'm concerned of. I mean, my mare might just be a more independent horse anyways, but I've only been into horses a year or two, and i am still not experienced enough to find the middle ground between a leader who gets respect, and a leader who horses want to follow. My mare does because she has no choice, but I really want to be a good leader. I just...dont know how.
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post #13 of 16 Old 07-10-2010, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Hello View Post
Thats kind of what I'm concerned of. I mean, my mare might just be a more independent horse anyways, but I've only been into horses a year or two, and i am still not experienced enough to find the middle ground between a leader who gets respect, and a leader who horses want to follow. My mare does because she has no choice, but I really want to be a good leader. I just...dont know how.

Well,
You are doing better than a lot of folks because you are asking the question and that sort of distinguishes you.

Just spend as much time with them as you can and try to look at the world through their eye's every once in a while.

A horse has a lot to teach a person that listens.

"The greatest strength is gentleness."
- Iroquois Proverb
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post #14 of 16 Old 07-10-2010, 02:33 PM
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My mare pretends she doesnt like the attention, and that she just wants to be left alone... but she likes it, if i ever leave for two or more days she walks up to me and excited. haha i think shes very vain though, she is one of those hroses like 'I'm here! The queen is here! I own this place' attitude, haha. but she still likes her royal subjects ;)

It ight just be horses personalitly. :)
Just NEVER get ANGRY with a horse, and there wont be anythng you SERIOUSLY regret when you learn more. Because when you get angry/mad at a horse, and lash out, then you will regret it when you are bad in a normal mindset. Just have endless patience, and have an open mind, and ASK QUESTIONS, and use common sense. I have seen lots of people never ask questions, and be lead off to a terrible trainer who doesnt even really like horses. So if you use common sense, an open mind, and ask lots of questions, you will learn a lot in no time! :)

If there are no horses in heaven... im not going.
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post #15 of 16 Old 07-11-2010, 06:20 PM
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Hello, along with MareCare, I applaud you for wanting that partnership with your horse! At risk of getting bashed, I suggest Parelli teaching on horse psychology; PP has the info on how horses see things, what motivates them in life, & how to be such a good leader for them that they do, indeed, want to be with you. They also have the 4 main "horsenalities" info, which could help you understand your mare's psychology better, for then knowing how to handle her effectively. You can try ebay for used PP material/advert on forums. I do not say that PP has it together in riding, but I do recommend their horse psychology, & 7 Games groundwork.
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post #16 of 16 Old 07-11-2010, 09:38 PM
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I have two horses. Horse 1 would get in my pocket if he could. He also tends to be pushy and I have to be pretty strict with him. He is the kind that will walk right up to me in the pasture all the time no matter what. Wants me to pet him, wants to be with me. But again, he's also the horse that I've had to discipline the most strictly.

Horse 2 is very obedient and I rarely have to correct him for anything. He rarely walks up to me in the pasture. He doesn't want to hang out with me. Most of the time I think he'd like to pretend I don't exist. LOL. He's not affectionate, even though I am certainly affectionate with him.

I think it really boils down to personalities. I don't think your horse doesn't like you. I don't know if you're too hard on her because I haven't seen you with her. But horses are ok with clear boundaries and it's ok to be strict with a horse. I'm sorry your horse isn't as affectionate as you'd like her to be, but I'm not sure you can change that about her. For gosh sakes don't start letting her get away with things and start giving her all kinds of treats trying to get her to "like" you more. That won't work and will only create problems for you both! Just start to see her for her own personality and focus on all the great things about her!
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