How to gain your horses trust

Being a leader does not mean he will follow you around. Horses can follow you when they feel like it, but it doesn't mean they see you as leader. A calm horse will follow a 4 year old human, it doesn't take much. No, the REAL test is stress/fear/anger/agitation. If your horse listens when he is under stress, THEN you know you are his leader. To be a leader for a horse means they follow you through hell and back (at least what they believe to be hell ) without so much as a blink of an eye. If he doesn't come when you ask, or walks away without you asking, he does not see you as alpha yet.

Don't be too discouraged, as this horse is fairly new to you. It takes time, but being his "buddy" won't really help. Sure, you can be his buddy sometimes, but personally I am hard on them for the first few months, until they are respectful and listening well. After I establish that, then I will "spoil" them with kindness, all the while always watching for signs of disrespect, so I can correct them.

Interesting thought. I guess I just expected that since he had come so far in the last year, he saw me as leader, but you're right. Any suggestions?

Well its hard to help over the internet. But I would suggest just being conscious of what he is telling you. A big chunk of horsemanship is being able to read the animal at any given time. It's tough, but if you can read his body language and understands how that translates, then you can respond.

Example: Turning hind end to you = no - no.
Why? It sets you up for getting kicked.
Watch a horse in a herd setting. Who gets a butt turned to them? The same horse who gets chased away from feed. When the horses are agitated, who leads the herd in either a run away or a "let's go investigate?" The same horse who gets the feed first. And I can guarantee that horse won't ever have a butt turned to him. BUT if he did, what would he do? He would kick the other horse's ever loving butt.

So if a horse turns their hind end to you, they are telling you that you are not leader, and that they will not follow you through the hard times. It's actually a process, but a place to start would be not accepting their hind end.

So let's put this into a real life situation. I will use my filly as an example, as she had some serious respect issues for a while. She was a yearling, and I had her for about a year. All the sudden she turns her hind end to me, and just stands there, her butt facing me. I had a crop. I swung that sucker hard over her ass end (from a safe distance so as to not get kicked) and boom she took off. I followed her, and she eventually turned and faced. At that point, she submitted, and I rewarded her by leaving her alone.

You always want to be proactive though. To do this, ask them to yield their hind to you on a lead line. Once they understand they can not turn their butt to you, they will get a better basis for you being the alpha, and are much less likely to turn their butt on you when you enter their pen.

There is a lot to learn from the herd situation. But basically it is pressure and release. This, coupled with a knowledge of what they can NEVER get away with makes a good solid horse in the long run.

Lakotababii, that was an excellent concrete example! Can you give any others of signs a horse doesn't respect you, and how to respond to get their respect?

Cherie is spot on. You gain a horses trust by moving his feet. Leaders decide when the other horses move and how fast. Food will not do it!

Sure, what would you like to know? Just basic respect issues?

Some of the most basic are hind end position (which is blatant), personal space, and the like. But the ones that a lot of people come across are rushing at food time, pinning ears, kicking, biting, and running away in pasture. So I guess you could pick one..

There are many issues of respect with horses, it is a good horseman that can distinguish disrespect from other issues.

So for another example: paying attention. (This one drives me nuts!) I have seen so many horse people who do not actually make their horse pay attention to them when they are doing something, and it results in so many issues. The horse goes on autopilot, and the mind is not engaged. The person will then blame the other issue, and seek to fix that issue, when in reality the person never taught the horse to pay attention and focus in the first place.

Now I am not talking about the occasional loss of attention. Horses do, in fact, have a fairly short attention span at times. But bringing them back is key. About 90% of the time, a horse never means to hurt the human, but they aren't paying attention when they get freaked out or upset and thus the person gets hurt due to sheer mass of the animal.

So what am I talking about here? Many things. Examples include letting a horse eat while you're working them, or not paying attention to their ears when lunging/round penning, riding, and leading, or not lunging/working with a purpose. Another clear sign of a horse not paying attention is the horse rushing the lead line and walking ahead of the handler. One of the key (and easiest to read signs) is their ear position.

Why is it important? When a horse is in the herd, they pay attention to that main animal, maybe not at all times (as mentioned earlier) but when the boss horse asks them to do something, they sure as heck pay attention.

So when you are leading, for example, pay attention to the horse's body language. A horse that is paying attention to the handler will have a relaxed posture, and relaxed ears. They will walk at the shoulder or slightly behind. When, and if, this horse gets excited, they will not rush the handler, but instead will turn into the handler for guidance and continue to follow. They may perk their ears and look at the object in question, but they will continue to be responsive to the handler. (This comes with training of course).

So one of the first things I say to people who are leading their horses is to pay attention to their body language. If they get too close to your personal space, if they move too far ahead, or lack too far behind, then they need to be corrected. I usually use circles or backing for this, as a horse is usually forced to at least acknowledge they are doing something wrong at this point.

This may seem like a very small thing, and it is, but honestly these things get more compounded in intense situations. For example, if you have a pushy horse that doesn't respect space when they aren't paying attention and a scary situation occurs, guess who gets stepped on or knocked on their butt. Yep, the handler. All because the handler never taught the horse to respect space and pay attention to them when they are working around them

I got my horse about a year ago. When I first got him he was about 11months old. He was very untrustworthy! I couldnt even get him up to the arena, if anyone remembers me posting about that.....what worked for me was literally TIME!

I went out there everyday, doing simple things like just sitting with him, talking with him, grooming him. Simple things. It took a few months before he really came around. Now all I have to do is drive to the barn, and he sees my car and runs up to the gate, I really don't have any major issues with him, and I feel that he trusts me just about completely!

Good Luck!

Try anything you like. Talking, grooming and the other things OP mentioned were nice. Working with your horse can gain respect and trust too like other have mentioned about getting him to move a bit and listen to you. But spending quality time pays off well. I had on horse it took me a good few month before she completely trusted me the other horse a day and we just got on. It is between you and your horse and your relationship and you guys will get to know each other in time. Be safe.

I believe in moving his feet! Lung him and when he drops his head or licks stop him make him wait then call him in how you would in the field. Then give him lots of "loves". Then send him out again. If you have a small pen it is best to keep him in there while your doing this it may take a week or two, and every time you go in call him, if he doesnt come then push him till he licks his lips or drops his head then stop him make him wait then call him in, if after about 5 secs if he hasnt taken steps toward you or has lost eye contact send him back out . Also If your horse is scared of something get him past his fear.
I like to personally feed the horse that has trust issues too. The lead mare will demand respect, provide food and safety. It will work just give it time!!

Just like Stacy Westfall says...Alotta people think that giving the horse treats all the time and letting the horse do whatever will grow its trust when in reality a horse wants guidance. He wants a leader. So be firm. Im not saying go out and make him scared at you. Don't want that at all. But be a leader. I just got a barrel horse a few months ago and he is still gaining to trust me. But the more I am the leader the closer we get. My gelding I have I trained so I have been firm on him. I have shown him guidance and we have the closest bond.