How to get the respect I need? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 01:28 AM Thread Starter
Green Broke
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Oregon
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Angry How to get the respect I need?

So my horse,Gidget is a very disrespectful critter and I'm getting really sick of it. I feel that I am making progress and then once I do we take 10 steps back it seems.It's very discouraging for the both of us.

Today I went to get Gidget out of the pasture to go on a trail ride. I was the only one there.I call her and she comes over but then she sees me with the halter and turns around to leave and then decided to run all the way back to the herd which was a bit of a walk. I walked up to her and she let me touch her and I tried wrapping my arm around to just lead her(I usually have a fly mask on her 24/7 as she burns really easy but I left it off because I was coming out in the morning to go ride)and she pulls her ears back. I then took a fly mask off a horse and went to go put it on her(she really likes her fly mask and doesn't mind me putting it on)and she takes off so here I am trying to catch my horse in a 6 acre She kicks out at me and I made sure to keep a distance. I was waiting till she gave in so I could catch her but she wasn't giving up. She bucked and ran one way and while I was catching up and she turns around with her teeth showing..she was coming after me! I kissed and flew my hands up in the air to get her away and she heads another direction so I get a whip for a just incase it happens again. My friends showed up to trailer Gidget and they saw I was having troubles.My friend told me to take the whip and she will halter her and Gidget held still! It was kind of embarassing but I was relieved that I got ahold of her....

Please help me. I don't know how to go about this in a positive way. I want her to respect me but it seems to have switched around.
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post #2 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 01:58 AM
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Makes me wonder what your body language was "saying" to her. Timing is really important when establishing your leadership. You have to know when to put the pressure on and when to ease up to get the response you are looking for from your horse. Sounds like you need to draw her in more before you approach. Unfortunately, I don't know how to tell you to do that. You have to be able to "read" your horse and adjust your movements accordingly.
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post #3 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 02:26 AM
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when my horse is rude or foul, i make him work. esp on the ground. lots of round pen, lots of lunging.

Life seems mighty precious, when there's less of it to waste.
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post #4 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 02:52 AM
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the thing is that you must meet their "push" on you with a push back that matches theirs, and a wee bit more. If she only turns and looks crosseyed at you, you can meet that with a angry voice and maybe a swish of your hand. But if she then turns around and pushes on you harder, like bares her teeth or lunges toward you, you then have to get rapidly a lot larger to meet the very aggressive gesture she did in a way that turns her away and gets her attention big time.
If she came at me with teeth bared, if I had a whip, I'd vibrate it aggressively in the air in front of her, and if she got close enough she'd get a good whack on the nose or shoulder , what ever is closest. I'd step into her , raise my scolding voice and make myself big. And when she moved off, I might follow and move her on a bit more. Then stop and let her think about it. Then approach normally

You may have to push her around that 6 acres pasture and make her get to the point where she is happy to submit to having you catch her.

She does have that kind of marish personality, as you've written about her, and I am not sure how well I'd like that. But if other folks can work with her without so much of this, then it's you that has to do some changing. Don't you just hate it when people say that?
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post #5 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 11:25 AM
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Great advice Tiny!

I love my horse and even though I hate it, sometimes I have to discipline her.

Last week I went to get her out of the paddock and the had just given the horses new hay. I walked up to her to catch her and she turned at me with her ears back and I just kept coming. She's very easy to catch (thankfully) but I threw the lead rope around her neck and moved her back and told her no. Not too much as I know that where she was before she was extremely bullied by other mares and is a bit possesive about her food. We went about our day.

During her grain feeding I noticed she was acting bullish with her grain (moving around in the crossties, pawing at the ground, being impatient and eating like maniac when I finally gave it to her). She was just being a brat. I kept moving her back and we worked on her manners.

The next day she was better when I went to get her but still turning her earts back and trying to be pushey with me. We went out to do some free lunging in the round pen. She wanted to just graze and eat all the grass growing around the roundpen. I gave her a let's go wave of the whip and and come on, get moving but nothing. Continued grazing. I did it a little closer and spoke a little louder. Again nothing. Next time I spoke a little louder and this time I whacked her. She took off like a bullet. I HATED doing it but we worked pretty good for about ten minutes. The next day I went to get her in the pen, she left her hay and came to me.
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post #6 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 11:30 AM
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Without knowing you and your mare, or having seen the two of you in action, I'm almost inclined to say that you were expecting her to act up. Once you expect a horse to do something naughty, they'll never disappoint you.

Next time, walk into the field and up to her shoulder with purpose. Don't hesitate, amble or stroll. You're there for a reason. Come in like you own that field and everything in it. If she threatens you, threaten back. She flattens her ears, you puff up your body. If she starts moving toward you in anything but a friendly manner, throw your hands up, make some noise and drive her away. If she bares her teeth, pop her on the rump with the end of your lead line. Imitate being the lead mare. Make her work and realize that being with you is a lot easier than being fussy.

I'm working on some respect issues with my gelding too and nothing works better than a loud, growly voice and when he hesitates on the lead, I spin him around and make him back up in the direction I was originally heading. Backing up is unfamiliar to him, it's scary and he doesn't like it... especially when I make him back up and down hill. Within a short while, he's more than willing to work with me rather than against.
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post #7 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by tinyliny View Post
You may have to push her around that 6 acres pasture and make her get to the point where she is happy to submit to having you catch her.
Before doing this - is the horse boarded? I do not allow my boarders to do any training in the turnout with other horses.

When we have had boarders with this type of horse, we make a small turn out pen for them to interact with their horse. No interference from other horses or distractions.
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post #8 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted by mls View Post
Before doing this - is the horse boarded? I do not allow my boarders to do any training in the turnout with other horses.

When we have had boarders with this type of horse, we make a small turn out pen for them to interact with their horse. No interference from other horses or distractions.

Good point. I realize that there is some danger of doing trainging work out in the field with other person's horses. Mac is on 40 acres with 15 other horses, and sometimes it can be dangerous working around the horses, because one will kick or whatever and the others will jump sideways suddenly. I am very careful and have had a few close calls to remind me to be even more careful. A newbie might get hurt.

I think Gidget is in a smaller herd, so a bit easier. But I see your point.

I sometimes have to smack other boarder's horses that are pushing in on me too much. I try to used a swinging rope instead, but some of them are really dull to that and require an actual whap on the shoulder to move away.
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post #9 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 03:13 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
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Thanks everyone.

It does frusterate me very much. I do expect her to be rude. With me saying this now I just realized she is the alpha and not me...I DON'T WANT THAT!
I don't want to be the one picked on. She is a very marish mare and I can only take so much of it. She is in heat,does that make it a bit understandable?..i doubt it. I have been doing some Clinton Anderson training on her.I just started. My mom gave me the videos. I don't really care for him but what he does works and so I am going to do it.

I do technically board in a pasture of 6 acres with my mom. We have 8 and my mom is selling one this weekend,hopefully. I am very cautious and I make sure to stay clear. of them. Most of them came up to me for a scratch and then continued to eat.

I did groundwork last night and I needed quite a bit of help because I was lunging her on the line and she only likes to go one way and struggles turning the other way...she ends up ripping my arm off or drags me a few feet. I am going to have to go down a notch and start smaller so she understands.

I do love my horse which you guys might find odd with everything I post on here :P She has a lot of holes in her training but I see her being a great mare after we establish that I'm the boss and not her.
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post #10 of 19 Old 09-14-2011, 03:33 PM
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No one would doubt you love your horse. I think you are crazy in love with her, and she strikes me as a real character and intrigueing, challenging and frustrating. Just for a bit, though, don't think of her as "your" horse. That gets in the way. Try to imagine that you are the paid trainer of this horse. You are being paid to get the most out of her, so you cannot be swayed by any emotional fears, such as her "not liking you". YOu need to be as tough as required, firm, clear , in and do the business, then leave the horse along and on to your next client. Think, "if I was a trainer, would I want my client to have this kind of behaviour in her horse?? No, I need to work on this and clear it up, whatever it takes. "
Perhaps this way of thinking will divorce you from concern that G continute to LIKE you, which keeps you from coming up to the level of authority that G requires.
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